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"The Liberal Night Before Christmas" (vanity)

Posted on 12/04/2005 1:55:43 PM PST by Jessica24

The Liberal Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,

Not a creature was celebrating, just as the liberals had planned.

The war had been waged with consummate glee,

And they had finally vanquished the foul bourgeoisie.

They were now out of power, but oh those libs had a vision-

A secular state guised as multiculturalism.

And they knew that in order to accomplish this heist,

First and foremost they must get rid of Christ!

The first line of attack had been at the greeting,

Now no one could say it except at a prayer meeting.

“Down with this imperial “Merry Christmas” phrase!

From now on, be PC- Say “Happy Holidays.”

Next they had set their sights on the tree,

Striking the “Christmas” from it by liberal decree.

“They’re Wishing Trees now, and if you disagree,

You’re prob’ly a hick from red state Tennessee.”

All this they carried out with the help of the press,

Naïve college freshmen and celebrity noblesse.

But there was only so much they could accomplish by squawking.

Too many were not buying all that they were hawking.

It was time to implement the next step in their coup d’etat.

“We must file suit,” they said, “and make it the law.

In our pledge, on our money, we think it’s unjust!

God’s too democratic- in judges we trust!”

"Now Moore! Now, Newdow! Now, Reid and Pelosi!

On, Boxer! On, Franken!, Johns Edwards and Kerry!

To the top of the bench! To the top of The Hill!

Now dash away! Dash away! Go impose our will!"

So they dashed to the courts, and they made it obscene,

To be caught wearing anything made of red or of green,

To have sugar plums or fig pudding on the cuisine,

Or to think of setting up a Nativity scene.

Finally the conservatives were set all agog,

Could this mean the end of elves and eggnog?

No carols? No candy canes? they thought with dismay.

Was the only tinsel to be found in L.A.?

No harking the herald, no decking the halls.

No cheesy Christmas concerts or frantic shopping at malls.

No late night visits from St. Nicholas.

No mistletoe under which to stand and be kissed.

Away went the manger, no jingle bell did rock.

Tiny Tim and The Grinch now as distasteful as Halliburton stock.

Gone were frankincense, myrrh, and Joy to the World.

Two thousand years of tradition had now been unfurled.

And if from the street they could see stockings,

Then you could be sure that the libs would come knocking.

“If from private celebrating you cannot refrain,

Then by Souter we shall invoke imminent domain!”

So Christmas Eve had come with nary one string of lights,

(Even putting a damper on all eight Hanukkah nights).

The activists were left to ponder the next crusade to embark upon.

Should it be Easter next time? Rosh Hashanah? Ramadan?

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,

Not any size sleigh or a single reindeer.

Not Santa Claus or Frosty the Snowman,

But the lights of church, and the inside was glowing.

People were laughing and holding hands,

Catching up with neighbors and family and friends.

Singing of how their lives were restored,

Proclaiming loudly, “Happy Birthday, dear Lord!”

The liberals were furious. How could this be?

They’d done away with the greeting, done away with the tree.

No halls had been decked- They’d passed resolutions!

How could it not have been the solution?

On his way out of the church they stopped an old man,

Asked desperately what had gone wrong with their plan.

He led them aside and pointed into the sky,

Placed a hand on their shoulder and said kindly “That’s why.”

“You cannot control what you don’t understand.

You can’t wipe away faith with the wave of your hand.

You can take away the trees and the elves and the bells,

The colors, the lights, but none of that tells

“The story of Christmas, and you knew all along,

the trappings and presents aren’t what make us strong.

It’s hope, and it’s love, and it’s prayers we have prayed,

And that’s what has for so long made you afraid.

“Maybe our faith fails analytical review,

But we love God, one another… We even love you.”

He walked away several steps, then turned, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, and one more thing… Happy Holidays.”

Wishing you all a very very very Merry Christmas…


TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: christmas; liberals
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To: Jessica24
I love it, thanks, Jessica!

So they dashed to the courts, and they made it obscene,
To be caught wearing anything made of red or of green,

This made me think... Have libs and rats really stopped celebrating Christmas in their own homes? If so, I feel sorry for their kids... All the conservative kids get new bikes, video games, etc., etc., for Christmas, and take them to school to show to the other kids, while the lib kids mope around feeling left out, deprived and neglected. Why... It might be enough to make them resent being born to a couple of liberal scrouges and reject the liberal lunacy of the left.

21 posted on 12/04/2005 3:45:39 PM PST by LibWhacker
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To: Jessica24
That's beautiful! You should turn it into a song. Or record you reading it with music in the back ground. I think that would be awesome!

Oh! And welcome to Free Republic! And Merry Christmas to you too!





This is my way of saying "Stuff It!" to the ACLU!..... "ACLU Christmas"


and "DID YOU FORGET WHY THERE IS A CHRISTMAS"

22 posted on 12/04/2005 3:50:41 PM PST by GloriaJane (http://music.download.com/gloriajane "Merry Christmas To Our Troops In Iraq (My Hero's)")
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To: Jessica24
If I ever have a daughter, I'm naming her Jessica.

(I really like the name... and I enjoyed your poem.)

Merry Christmas!
23 posted on 12/04/2005 3:53:24 PM PST by birbear (Admit it. you clicked on the "I have already previewed" button without actually previewing the post.)
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To: Jessica24; King Prout
Love it!

Good job, Jessica, and thanks for the ping, King.

24 posted on 12/04/2005 3:57:21 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Jessica24

That's hilarious. Thanks for the creativity.


25 posted on 12/04/2005 4:11:23 PM PST by YourAdHere (Viking kitties taste like chicken.)
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To: concretebob; Jessica24

Thanks to each of you and MERRY CHRISTMAS!


26 posted on 12/04/2005 6:06:15 PM PST by 3D-JOY
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To: concretebob; Jessica24

Wonderful poem!!! Welcome Jessica - post often!


27 posted on 12/04/2005 7:06:01 PM PST by PleaDeal (Bill Whittle for Pres. in '08)
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To: Jessica24

Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone. Welcome to the Free Republic!


28 posted on 12/04/2005 7:36:55 PM PST by Apple Blossom (...around here, city hall is something of a between meals snack.)
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To: AZ_Cowboy

Thanks for the ping!


29 posted on 12/04/2005 8:03:37 PM PST by Alamo-Girl
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To: concretebob

Them Libs should watch The Grinch and learn!


30 posted on 12/05/2005 2:44:54 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: Jessica24

Outstanding!


31 posted on 12/05/2005 5:11:30 AM PST by BufordP (Excluding the WOT, I haven't trusted W since he coined the term "compassionate conservative")
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To: Jessica24

Cute!

Thank you.


32 posted on 12/05/2005 7:09:18 AM PST by najida (People are often mirror images of the things they hate most.)
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To: Jessica24

Fabulous, Jessica! Wow!

And "Bienvenidos al Republico Libre!" Haha.


33 posted on 12/05/2005 12:01:45 PM PST by La Enchiladita (New tagline under construction.)
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To: radu; Smartass; Frank_Discussion; TASMANIANRED; Lady Jag; kellynla; Brad's Gramma

Pingle bells


34 posted on 12/05/2005 12:03:32 PM PST by La Enchiladita (New tagline under construction.)
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To: Jessica24

Best first post ever!


35 posted on 12/05/2005 12:46:49 PM PST by techcor
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To: Jessica24; La Enchiladita

Jessica, what a wonderful way to introduce yourself to FR! Welcome and thank you for your hilarious contribution!


36 posted on 12/05/2005 4:16:20 PM PST by Lady Jag (Honor - Dignity - Courage - Troll Consumption)
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