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DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-05 ("How is Andy doing?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/09/2005 5:05:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first thing I did when I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “How is Andy doing?” at 6:50 AM this morning was enter “cancer” into the FIND function and guess what? NO mention of cancer at all on the entire page. You know if Scamdy had pancreatic CANCER it would have been mentioned at least ONCE (although they might toss that word in the thread AFTER reading this edition of the DUFUs). Therefore, if Scamdy did NOT have cancer what was the reason he went to Johns Hopkins in the first place? He could have had regular pancreatic surgery done in his home state of Washington without any need to shill for $50,000+. I put the PLUS sign in there because since Skinner had absolutely NO ACCOUNTING of the Scamdy money taken in, that figure could be well in excess of $50,000. Since Scamdy had his appeal going on OVER a hundred other Leftist websites, it is a good chance that he pocketed a SIZABLE chunk of change over and above what it cost him for mere (non-cancerous) pancreatic surgery. One interesting thing about this thread is not ONE word from Sknner or Pied Piper Pitt since they are both hoping that Scamdy just go away. Somehow Scamdy seems to have a bizarre hold over both of them. So let us now enter this Dummieland thread where all thought of Scamdy’s supposed cancer is tossed down the Memory Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who thinks Scamdy is just $10 away from mentioning “cancer,” is in the [brackets]:

How is Andy doing?

[Wonderfully. Scamdy is recuperating quickly from ROUTINE non-cancerous pancreatic surgery. Thanks to all the money he raked in over and above what was needed for the unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation, Scamdy has more than enough to enjoy a great recuperation period in the Caribbean.]

I assume we are allowed to ask that again. How is he feeling?

[Be careful how you ask that. If you ask why he went to Johns Hopkins unnecessarily because he did NOT have pancreatic cancer, you will probably be tombstoned.]

Well lets see...The incision is still tender...but my appetite is coming back and I am regaining more of my strength every day. I got back home late last night and it was awesome to sleep in my own bed again. Thanks for asking and for the concern! It has meant so much to me what DU has done for me. You all rock. I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

[Recuperation from NON-CANCEROUS pancreatic surgery is fairly rapid, Scamdy. BTW, why no thank you to all the suckers you conned for a Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need?]

Hey, man, you oughta be in bed asleep, regaining your strength. It's great to hear from you, and I'm thrilled you're posting. Keep up with vitamins and good fruits and veggies, and drink only distilled water. I am so serious about this. We all love ya, dear. Keep posting, you make us all feel so good inside.

[Make us feel so good inside and let us believe that you really did need that money we wasted on you to go to Johns Hopkins for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need.]

I have slept alot over the last 2 weeks. today I felt the best I have since surgery. Like I say my strength is coming back more and more each day.

[You’ve certainly slept a lot better than Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. He is so worried sick about how you used him to put over an enormous con for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need, that he hasn’t slept since April.]

This is wonderful news! I'm glad to hear that you're up and about!

[Yes, this is wonderful news. Thank God Scamdy never had pancreatic cancer in the first place. If he did, he would probably still be flat on his back instead of being his chipper self and singing Broadway show tunes over the cell phone from his ICU.]

HI, Andy! Glad to hear you're back home and getting better! Appetite is a good sign...

[Scamdy can now afford to go to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse on an almost daily basis thanx to all that money you folks sent him for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation which did NOT take place.]

Yes it is...although I have found my tastes have changed...for example. I used to love tomatoes...now they taste like straw and celery is peach sweet to me. Apparently that is one of the side effects of pancreatic surgery...changed taste buds.

[I bet Roast DUmmie suckerling tastes mighty sweet to you, Scamdy.]

pineapple and papaya are the best for you and not cooked, either. you gotta keep your weight up, my dear.

[Actually, Scamdy could stand to LOSE a few pounds since he is about to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the FATTEST “pancreatic cancer” patient in history.]

Somebody used to tell me that carrot juice was really really good for you. Good to hear you're doing well, Andy! Keep it up!

[Scamdy prefers Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.]

I am eating like a madman the last couple of days in fact I ate dinner and I am hungry again.

[Yeah, all that “chemotherapy” is giving you quite an appetite, Scamdy.]

for example tonight I had real turkey breast sliced on a tortilla with roasted red peppers lettuce and dijon mustard. It was yummmmmmy. For breakfast I had 9 grain bread with grits and 2 eggs.

[Don’t hold back. Pig out at your local buffet, Scamdy. After all it is well known that pancreatic cancer patients develop quite an appetite.]

Well Joan Krawitz is honorable and I think Ms Harris' troubles are just beginning. But I am not going to focus on her. My job right now is to get well...that is where my focus must and will be.

[Methinks YOUR troubles are just beginning, Scamdy. I am sure there will be an investigation into YOUR fraud. Your job right now is to use those enormous funds you scammed to hire a good defense attorney.]

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

[The ease with which Scamdy conned the DUmmies out of $50,000 for pancreatic cancer operation at Johns Hopkins which NEVER took place will certainly inspire other con artists to enter DUmmieland.]

Hint from a recent surgery patient: Get a neosporin scar patch at the pharmacy. I had a hysterectomy last year and my scar is 100% gone! This is an amazing product.

[Don’t give Scamdy any ideas. He might end up hitting on the DUmmies for another $50,000 for a hysterectomy operation.]

Hey I have ICU and scar pics... I just don't want them posted on that website. you know the one I mean.

[DUmmie FUnnies or Scamdy.Com?]

Wow, Andy, it is TOO good to hear from you....And sounding so chipper, too!! Glad you are coming out of this. I knew you'd beat this thing.

[Careful…careful. It is okay to use the vague term “thing” but DON’T use the word “cancer” or it could mean your tombstoning.]

Andy, this is wonderful to hear! Nothing like being back at home too. Lots of rest now, heal up, and yep, be in the place where you'll be after the next phase of treatment.

[Scamdy’s next phase of treatment will be sun & sea therapy in the Caribbean.]

I have a couple of rounds of chemo and radiation to go through...but the doctor said I should be fine.

[Please send money for unnecessary chemo and radiation that needs to follow the non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

Good to see you back!! Now, close your eyes and visualize. a complete recovery and perfect health! I'm serious, it works

[It sure does. Obvious scams ALWAYS work in Dummieland.]

I have been doing that. I am using a screen nightly to screen all the bad stuff from my body. I know visualizations work...

[Scamdy is now in the process of visualizing another reality of a Dummieland scam.]

OK good night everyone...I am going to lay down and rest.

[Meanwhile, one the other side of the continent from Scamdy, Pied Piper Pitt is lying awake worrying about his defense plea when he is charged with aiding and abetting Scamdy.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andystephenson; dummies
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To: beandog; commonguymd
I just got back from dinner (the margaritas were outstanding tonight!) and just got caught up.

I see you found benlurch in all his glory. ICK!!!

281 posted on 06/09/2005 7:40:21 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: CAluvdubya

Oh the obvious character flaws are just the half of it.

Some people just mess up. Some people make a mistake. Some people have a foot that no matter how hard they try, they just can't keep the tracks out of their mouth.


282 posted on 06/09/2005 7:42:51 PM PDT by commonguymd (My impatience is far more advanced than any known technology.)
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To: commonguymd
Now I have to go back and re-read that thread. EEEEWWWWW! I just have to see what you're talking about!

taking a deep breath, holding it, and going in to DU

283 posted on 06/09/2005 7:48:10 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: PJ-Comix

PJ, have you seen or read, Andy was on Air America this morning? Think it's Air America, not sure, but Mike Maloy radio show


284 posted on 06/09/2005 7:52:22 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: gidget7

Was he?

It's a Festivus Miracle!


285 posted on 06/09/2005 7:53:09 PM PDT by commonguymd (My impatience is far more advanced than any known technology.)
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To: commonguymd
Oh these poor delusional souls.

No self-edit

Who was asking for cash/bumping the threads during that time?

It would be interesting to find out.

286 posted on 06/09/2005 7:55:34 PM PDT by feefee (rovian salt carrier: moving back to research)
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To: commonguymd
I'm back, I've disinfected myself, and my feeligs are hurt. Geez, they never quote me! LOL

So, Undie on AA? Not even he could be that DUmb!

287 posted on 06/09/2005 7:57:40 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: CAluvdubya

Come on now. The only dumb ones are the lock stock and barrel believers on DU. Andy doesn't have to worry about being that dumb - he knows his audience.


288 posted on 06/09/2005 8:00:24 PM PDT by commonguymd (My impatience is far more advanced than any known technology.)
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To: raivyn

Dang, I missed out on ANOTHER ZOT party!

Rats. Buh-bye, xaos.


289 posted on 06/09/2005 8:04:50 PM PDT by Purrcival (Nice try, Kerry. But we STILL want you to file that Form 180. Now, cough it up!)
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To: commonguymd

LMAO, I saw it mentioned <===== over there!


290 posted on 06/09/2005 8:05:05 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix; gidget7; CAluvdubya; commonguymd; franksolich
PJ, just by looking at the title, the subect matter, and the names of a few of the usual suspects--without even reading their posts yet--this thread looks like it could be tomorrow's DUFU!

Heads up Andy's on Malloy!

Suggestion, gang: If this is good, let's not waste our posts at the tail end of this DUFU, but rather save them for a possible new DUFU tomorrow. What thinkest thou, Peej?

291 posted on 06/09/2005 8:07:41 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Andy, Andy, Andy. . . .)
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To: gidget7

Do you know who posted that Andy was on Air America? This is just unbelievable to me!


292 posted on 06/09/2005 8:08:40 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: ScubaGuy

Cool! My folks live in Charlotte, so I'll give you a heads up next time we head out that way. A little detour couldn't hurt, especially if I can get the wife diving.


293 posted on 06/09/2005 8:09:34 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback ("Eureka! I just found the gene that causes people to believe in genetic determinism!")
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To: PJ-Comix; gidget7; CAluvdubya; commonguymd; franksolich

Well, only 18 posts so far, and most of them brief, but the thread's only a half-hour old. Let's see what happens. One to keep our eye on.


294 posted on 06/09/2005 8:11:00 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Andy, Andy, Andy. . . .)
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To: CAluvdubya

Charles just posted the lonk LOL There is even a soundbite listed


295 posted on 06/09/2005 8:12:22 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: gidget7

oops, make that link


296 posted on 06/09/2005 8:13:17 PM PDT by gidget7 (Get GLSEN out of our schools!!!!!!)
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To: SCALEMAN

ZOT on a DUFU thread...was that "newsguy1"? He came back as "newsguy2", I think. But I haven't seen him around here lately.


297 posted on 06/09/2005 8:13:38 PM PDT by Purrcival (Nice try, Kerry. But we STILL want you to file that Form 180. Now, cough it up!)
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To: PJ-Comix; gidget7; CAluvdubya; commonguymd; franksolich
Well, there could be multiple threads tonight and tomorrow about "our Andy" being on the Malloy show. Here's another:

Audio Clip of Andy Stephenson on tonight's Mike Malloy Show!

298 posted on 06/09/2005 8:13:44 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Andy, Andy, Andy. . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I read it but I don't believe it! Do they really think that this guy, who just had surgery for pancreatic cancer 2 weeks ago, found out it spread to his lymph nodes, is waiting for chemo and radiation treatments, following a miraculous cross-country trip, is doing a radio program?

Un-frickin' believable!!

299 posted on 06/09/2005 8:14:59 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: sharkhawk; SCALEMAN; KJC1
think the point he made about his taste buds is suspicous. Would surgery affect your taste?

I checked that out when I first read the thread, and found two solid medical references that said pancreatic surgery patients often experience a change in taste sensation. It didn't say why...one of them said patients sometimes report a metallic taste.

300 posted on 06/09/2005 8:16:39 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback ("Eureka! I just found the gene that causes people to believe in genetic determinism!")
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