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DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-05 ("How is Andy doing?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/09/2005 5:05:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first thing I did when I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “How is Andy doing?” at 6:50 AM this morning was enter “cancer” into the FIND function and guess what? NO mention of cancer at all on the entire page. You know if Scamdy had pancreatic CANCER it would have been mentioned at least ONCE (although they might toss that word in the thread AFTER reading this edition of the DUFUs). Therefore, if Scamdy did NOT have cancer what was the reason he went to Johns Hopkins in the first place? He could have had regular pancreatic surgery done in his home state of Washington without any need to shill for $50,000+. I put the PLUS sign in there because since Skinner had absolutely NO ACCOUNTING of the Scamdy money taken in, that figure could be well in excess of $50,000. Since Scamdy had his appeal going on OVER a hundred other Leftist websites, it is a good chance that he pocketed a SIZABLE chunk of change over and above what it cost him for mere (non-cancerous) pancreatic surgery. One interesting thing about this thread is not ONE word from Sknner or Pied Piper Pitt since they are both hoping that Scamdy just go away. Somehow Scamdy seems to have a bizarre hold over both of them. So let us now enter this Dummieland thread where all thought of Scamdy’s supposed cancer is tossed down the Memory Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who thinks Scamdy is just $10 away from mentioning “cancer,” is in the [brackets]:

How is Andy doing?

[Wonderfully. Scamdy is recuperating quickly from ROUTINE non-cancerous pancreatic surgery. Thanks to all the money he raked in over and above what was needed for the unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation, Scamdy has more than enough to enjoy a great recuperation period in the Caribbean.]

I assume we are allowed to ask that again. How is he feeling?

[Be careful how you ask that. If you ask why he went to Johns Hopkins unnecessarily because he did NOT have pancreatic cancer, you will probably be tombstoned.]

Well lets see...The incision is still tender...but my appetite is coming back and I am regaining more of my strength every day. I got back home late last night and it was awesome to sleep in my own bed again. Thanks for asking and for the concern! It has meant so much to me what DU has done for me. You all rock. I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

[Recuperation from NON-CANCEROUS pancreatic surgery is fairly rapid, Scamdy. BTW, why no thank you to all the suckers you conned for a Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need?]

Hey, man, you oughta be in bed asleep, regaining your strength. It's great to hear from you, and I'm thrilled you're posting. Keep up with vitamins and good fruits and veggies, and drink only distilled water. I am so serious about this. We all love ya, dear. Keep posting, you make us all feel so good inside.

[Make us feel so good inside and let us believe that you really did need that money we wasted on you to go to Johns Hopkins for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need.]

I have slept alot over the last 2 weeks. today I felt the best I have since surgery. Like I say my strength is coming back more and more each day.

[You’ve certainly slept a lot better than Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. He is so worried sick about how you used him to put over an enormous con for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need, that he hasn’t slept since April.]

This is wonderful news! I'm glad to hear that you're up and about!

[Yes, this is wonderful news. Thank God Scamdy never had pancreatic cancer in the first place. If he did, he would probably still be flat on his back instead of being his chipper self and singing Broadway show tunes over the cell phone from his ICU.]

HI, Andy! Glad to hear you're back home and getting better! Appetite is a good sign...

[Scamdy can now afford to go to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse on an almost daily basis thanx to all that money you folks sent him for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation which did NOT take place.]

Yes it is...although I have found my tastes have changed...for example. I used to love tomatoes...now they taste like straw and celery is peach sweet to me. Apparently that is one of the side effects of pancreatic surgery...changed taste buds.

[I bet Roast DUmmie suckerling tastes mighty sweet to you, Scamdy.]

pineapple and papaya are the best for you and not cooked, either. you gotta keep your weight up, my dear.

[Actually, Scamdy could stand to LOSE a few pounds since he is about to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the FATTEST “pancreatic cancer” patient in history.]

Somebody used to tell me that carrot juice was really really good for you. Good to hear you're doing well, Andy! Keep it up!

[Scamdy prefers Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.]

I am eating like a madman the last couple of days in fact I ate dinner and I am hungry again.

[Yeah, all that “chemotherapy” is giving you quite an appetite, Scamdy.]

for example tonight I had real turkey breast sliced on a tortilla with roasted red peppers lettuce and dijon mustard. It was yummmmmmy. For breakfast I had 9 grain bread with grits and 2 eggs.

[Don’t hold back. Pig out at your local buffet, Scamdy. After all it is well known that pancreatic cancer patients develop quite an appetite.]

Well Joan Krawitz is honorable and I think Ms Harris' troubles are just beginning. But I am not going to focus on her. My job right now is to get well...that is where my focus must and will be.

[Methinks YOUR troubles are just beginning, Scamdy. I am sure there will be an investigation into YOUR fraud. Your job right now is to use those enormous funds you scammed to hire a good defense attorney.]

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

[The ease with which Scamdy conned the DUmmies out of $50,000 for pancreatic cancer operation at Johns Hopkins which NEVER took place will certainly inspire other con artists to enter DUmmieland.]

Hint from a recent surgery patient: Get a neosporin scar patch at the pharmacy. I had a hysterectomy last year and my scar is 100% gone! This is an amazing product.

[Don’t give Scamdy any ideas. He might end up hitting on the DUmmies for another $50,000 for a hysterectomy operation.]

Hey I have ICU and scar pics... I just don't want them posted on that website. you know the one I mean.

[DUmmie FUnnies or Scamdy.Com?]

Wow, Andy, it is TOO good to hear from you....And sounding so chipper, too!! Glad you are coming out of this. I knew you'd beat this thing.

[Careful…careful. It is okay to use the vague term “thing” but DON’T use the word “cancer” or it could mean your tombstoning.]

Andy, this is wonderful to hear! Nothing like being back at home too. Lots of rest now, heal up, and yep, be in the place where you'll be after the next phase of treatment.

[Scamdy’s next phase of treatment will be sun & sea therapy in the Caribbean.]

I have a couple of rounds of chemo and radiation to go through...but the doctor said I should be fine.

[Please send money for unnecessary chemo and radiation that needs to follow the non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

Good to see you back!! Now, close your eyes and visualize. a complete recovery and perfect health! I'm serious, it works

[It sure does. Obvious scams ALWAYS work in Dummieland.]

I have been doing that. I am using a screen nightly to screen all the bad stuff from my body. I know visualizations work...

[Scamdy is now in the process of visualizing another reality of a Dummieland scam.]

OK good night everyone...I am going to lay down and rest.

[Meanwhile, one the other side of the continent from Scamdy, Pied Piper Pitt is lying awake worrying about his defense plea when he is charged with aiding and abetting Scamdy.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andystephenson; dummies
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To: Xaos
You are correct. I have had my say. I will leave now

Feel better now? Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I just love drive-by posters.

61 posted on 06/09/2005 7:13:45 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: PJ-Comix

and drink only distilled water.

wont only drinking distilled water leech all the minerals from his system?

62 posted on 06/09/2005 7:16:21 AM PDT by Duke Nukum (They're not people, they're hippies! --Eric Cartman)
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To: Duke Nukum
wont only drinking distilled water leech all the minerals from his system?

But it will maintain the purity of HIS PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS - no fluoride!
63 posted on 06/09/2005 7:19:25 AM PDT by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: Xaos

You joined today to post this? I think you need to go somewhere else. No one if forcing you to read this thread.


64 posted on 06/09/2005 7:21:09 AM PDT by MamaB (mom to an angel)
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To: imskylark

Im not a DU poster but a lurker. DU is a bit too left and conspiratory for me. I fit in better at Kos. DU is just as far left, as you guys are right. Both are way too extreme for me.


65 posted on 06/09/2005 7:24:16 AM PDT by Xaos
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To: Xaos

Oh, boy! You need to go to DU to see pure hatred.


66 posted on 06/09/2005 7:24:40 AM PDT by MamaB (mom to an angel)
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To: Xaos

I thought you were leaving? Decided to stay?


67 posted on 06/09/2005 7:24:50 AM PDT by kevkrom (Jack Bauer / Chloe O'Brien '08)
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To: Xaos; Admin Moderator

A zot on a DUFU thread. How many times has that happened?


68 posted on 06/09/2005 7:25:39 AM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper (<a HREF="http://www.democraticunderground.com">Fruits and Nuts</a>)
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To: beezdotcom
HIS PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS

Someone is having 'Dr. Strangelove' flashbacks.

69 posted on 06/09/2005 7:27:01 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: WinOne4TheGipper; Xaos
A zot on a DUFU thread. How many times has that happened?

Easy on the trigger there. Xaos has not doen anything meriting zotting. We are not afraid of other ideas, remember? He's acting civilized.

SD

70 posted on 06/09/2005 7:29:43 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: WinOne4TheGipper
A zot on a DUFU thread. How many times has that happened?

Is he zotted? It happened a few weeks ago on a DFU thread. Can't remember who, but think they were reinstated shortly after the post.

71 posted on 06/09/2005 7:30:23 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: PJ-Comix
Pnacreatic surgery will change your tastebuds???? I always thought it was medication that changed your tastebuds.

So Undie is going to have his chemo and radiation in WA? But he ran away from their treatment.

We shall see how he reacts to his next course of treatments. My sister went through both last year and I know exactly how he should be feeling and for how long! Time will tell.

72 posted on 06/09/2005 7:30:34 AM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: SoothingDave; WinOne4TheGipper
Oh, I have the feeling Xoas would just love to be zotted so that he/she/it can run off to another site and talk about how FR banned him/her/it for standinging up against our "meanness".

I say let Xoas stay. Maybe he/she/it will learn something.

73 posted on 06/09/2005 7:32:01 AM PDT by kevkrom (Jack Bauer / Chloe O'Brien '08)
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To: Duke Nukum
LOL

You could have a point there!

74 posted on 06/09/2005 7:34:22 AM PDT by raivyn (I don't know what you just said, but you special!)
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To: Xaos

Scamdy and his fellow DUmmies are anti-american, anti-military POS. He has spent the majority of his life using other people and blaming everybody else for his problems. His own sister wouldn't help him out. Why do you think that is?

Let's not forget that Scamdy is the one always screaming for socialized medicine, yet when he had the opportunity to use it, in Washington state, he decided he was to good for it. Socialized medicine is for the peons, not the great Scamdy.


75 posted on 06/09/2005 7:34:40 AM PDT by beandog (Bean the Real Dog -we love you - our hearts are breaking)
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To: SoothingDave; WinOne4TheGipper; Xaos

I believe it was a rhetorical question... (I could be wrong though)


76 posted on 06/09/2005 7:36:13 AM PDT by raivyn (I don't know what you just said, but you special!)
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To: SCALEMAN
Someone is having 'Dr. Strangelove' flashbacks.

Exactly. I mean, distilled water? What are they, batteries?
77 posted on 06/09/2005 7:38:42 AM PDT by beezdotcom (I'm usually either right or wrong...)
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To: Xaos
<> Hahaha.......Kos is about as left as you can get, I would think even more left than the DUmp. Take this:
78 posted on 06/09/2005 7:41:00 AM PDT by jsh3180
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To: PJ-Comix
I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

I thought the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes? Too many stories, not enough coordination.

79 posted on 06/09/2005 7:43:54 AM PDT by sharkhawk (I really have to stop surfing at DU.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Their "compassion" is hilarious. This one was my favorite:

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

I think that I am going to start a new organization and promote it on DU.

The title - $10 for World Peace

All that I need to do is give of myself. HA!

With DU around, no wonder the Islamofascists thought that we were a weak country with all of that touchy-feely rhetoric.
80 posted on 06/09/2005 7:47:03 AM PDT by Eagle of Liberty (If Republicans are Christians, then Democrats are the Anti-Christ)
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