DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-05 (Scamdy Post-Hospital Thread On DUmmieland DELETED By Skinner!!!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 1, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[CaliGirl-R]

Your website has been linked by Melissa on CU. Is this where AndyScam is going to post his responses from JHH?

http://www.conservativeunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8260

[MisterRepublican]

Well, if we're allowed to post songs again, here's one not about Andy, but DUmmie chicks (with apologies to David Bowie):

DUmmie Girl (to the tune of China Girl by David Bowie)

Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl
Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl

I could escape this feeling with my DUmmie girl
I feel a wreck with my little DUmmie girl
I hear her mouth bleating loud as thunder
Slowly lies crashing

She's a mess I'll say, my little DUmmie girl
Wake up in the morning, there's my little DUmmie girl
I hear her mouth bleating loud as thunder
Slowly lies crashing down

I'm feelin' tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
When I look at my DUmmie girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my DUmmie girl

She stumbles into town, just like a drunken cow
Visions of Chomksy in her head
Plans for everyone
It's in the white of her eyes

My little DUmmie girl, you shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
I'll give you wealth and freedom
I'll give you skies of blue
I'll give you ideas that really change the world

And when she gets excited
My little DUmmie girl says
Oh !@#$%! just you shut your @#$%#@* mouth
She says ... shhhhhhh*t
She says
She says

And when I get excited
My little DUmmie girl says "Hey, a$$h*le!!! Just you shut your !@#$%$@ mouth"
And when I get excited
My little DUmmie girl says "Hey, a$$h*le!!! Just you shut your !@#$%$@ mouth"
She says ... shhhhhhh*t
She says

Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl
Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl
Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl
Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl
Oh oh oh no! Little DUmmie girl

[speed_addiction]

They desparately look for any detail that might be an impeachable offense.

This pic always sets their little hearts a flutter! I like to torment them with it!

[gardencatz]

I know...great movie! I had to cut the quote a bit because there isn't enough space for all of it. Phibes the perfect black comedy & IMO the greatest "B" movie of all time. Slasher movies have never creeped me out (except maybe pinhead), but draining the blood out of that doctor a pint at a time and lining those bottles up on the hearth sent chills up my spine. Phibes is so charming, but such a sicko. Never expected him to save the last plague for himself, I thought he'd try to kill Trout. After I thought about it though, it was appropriate...had to go out his own unique way...he did have style. Anyway, I figured a movie with doctors getting killed in bizarre ways based on the plagues Moses sent to the Egyptians was perfect for this equally bizarre "situation".

Cindie

[PJ-Comix]

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #689.

[PJ-Comix]

I did see a couple of postings by Will Pitt, on a pro-homosexual thread he started.

Link?

[franksolich]

Oh my, I'm going to have to announce this, but I hope this comment gets buried and is left unread or unnoticed, because, well, it really mucks up the works.

In fact, I have been holding this back for more than 40 hours now, ever since I last went to the post office to pick up my mail (small town, no home delivery)--and returned home in a rather confused and distraught state of mind.....a mind which works at the speed of a glacier.

Anyway, the same day that the patient ostensibly had surgery at ostensibly Johns Hopkins, I had sent a telegram, via Western Union, signed return receipt requested, to be delivered to him either Thursday or Friday (of last week).

A great telegram, with nothing but honest sincere good wishes from the DUmmie FUnnies, for the patient--and sent on watermarked parchment paper, suitable for framing.

The return receipt (extra charge) offers three options: (a) accepted, signed for, (b) not accepted, not signed for, and (c) not found at this address.

Oh my.

So I go to pick up my mail 40 hours ago, and there is not only the return receipt but also the original telegram; the return receipt marked "not found at this address."

Oh my.

The brain-cells reeled; the brain-cells convulsed.

This surely complicates things, for all involved, and I am sorry for that.

Of course, we all know of the inefficiencies and lethargies of the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) at Johns Hopkins, and it is possible this was an honest mistake through no fault of the Andyites guarding the telephone-stand at the bedside.

But it seems to me it was a major mistake, on the part of the Andyites, to not break into the mail room to find this particular telegram--as they had ostensibly broken into the mail room (or was it the accounting office?) to find a missing $50,000 cashiers [sic] check (or was it a $32,000 and a $18,000, or a $43,000 and a $7,000, pair of cashiers [sic] checks?).

You see, if the Andyites had done that, and found and signed for the telegram, that would have given everybody involved--both sides of the issue--the first piece of non-internet, non-photoshopped, authentic physical evidence that the patient was actually there.

After which the Andyites could have gloated about their first non-prevarication in this matter, and we here in the DUmmie FUnnies would have had a whole hen-house of eggs on our faces.

It would have been a very good idea for the Andyites to find that telegram, and sign for it.

As it is now, once this is all said-and-done, I am sending the actual telegram (suitable for framing, remember) and its accompanying paperwork to P-J Comix, to use in his Mary Matalin editored book of the DUmmie FUnnies.

I truly hope no one reads this, because I mucked up the works, stirring up even more this fine kettle of rotten fish.

[PJ-Comix]

So I go to pick up my mail 40 hours ago, and there is not only the return receipt but also the original telegram; the return receipt marked "not found at this address.

Scamdy NOT FOUND at Johns Hopkins. BTW, have you also noticed that Scamdy has NOT been found recently in DUmmieland. Has he been tombstoned or has he been warned to take a vow of Omerta for now?

[commonguymd]

You said there were 3 possibilities. accept, denied, and this one.

[Centaur]

Not found? Not found?

Just when I thought things were dying down...a not found? JH loses checks AND patients?

[Charles Henrickson]

DU thread yesterday started by WilliamPitt:

Scary tales from the fight for gay equality

[kevkrom]

Your Linguistic Profile:
75% General American English
15% Yankee
10% Dixie
0% Midwestern
0% Upper Midwestern

Hmmmm... considering my 7+ years in Indiana, you'd think this would turn out differently... then again, I never did quite get the hang of the local lingo. My personal pet peeve is the phrase "come with", where the object (me, us, etc.) is missing.

[Charles Henrickson]

Scamdy has NOT been found recently in DUmmieland.

To my knowledge, the last Andy postings were on the DU thread from maybe Tuesday that started this DUFU. I don't know that he has posted anything in at least the last 48 hours.

Where's Andy?

[jennyjenny]

I could swear I have heard the "Jay" story Pitt is telling, as a joke (not a real funny one). The line, "he bought a Barbie" sounds very familiar to me, but I could be wrong.

[PJ-Comix]

I just checked out that Pitt thread about gays. Guess what's missing? Any mention of the most PROMINENT Gay in DUmmieland---Andy Stephenson. In fact Pitt has YET to talk about how Scamdy REALLY had pancreatic cancer due to the "proof" provided by the bogus documents he posted on the Web. BTW, he did talk about "Gay Jay." I feel song potential here with a parody song to the tune of "Tall Paul." Songwriters, start your engines for a Gay Jay parody song!

[KJC1]

You know, I thought the same thing. It was the "Barbie" part that made me think I'd heard that before somewhere.

[jennyjenny]

DUmmies can hear anything, believe it, then run back to DU and start a thread about it. Heck, they don't even have to hear it. They can just imagine it, believe it, post it.

[sharkhawk]

Woman who faked cancer sent to jail

Saw it, had to post it.

[speed_addiction]

“Who sent them? Is there a magical medical fairy out there?”

This is who has been helping out Andy by pulling documents out of it's ass at opportune moments.

[CAluvdubya]

They can just imagine it, believe it, post it.

I found out last night that sometimes if they get the "10 of swords" or the "cups" card, they know for sure that Bush is in trouble and Kerry will be president!