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DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-05 (Scamdy Post-Hospital Thread On DUmmieland DELETED By Skinner!!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 1, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/01/2005 8:07:19 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It’s Pied Piper Pitt’s WORST nightmare. Scamdy has left Johns Hopkins Hospital (according to Scamdy) and is now posting in DUmmieland as you can see (UPDATE: Thread ELIMINATED by Skinner) in this THREAD titled, “Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?” Actually, Scamdy, the only thing I really want to guess is why the April 27 FAX posted by your cheerleader Pitt as “proof” that you have pancreatic cancer was able to accurately predict back then that you would have surgery on the week of May 23 when it was ORIGINALLY scheduled for May 10. Perhaps Mrs. Harasaki is the one who sent the FAX and possesses some sort of psychic powers to look into the future since it wasn’t until almost two weeks AFTER the FAX was sent that your surgery was rescheduled to the week of May 23. However, welcome back Scamdy. Your recovery has been truly miraculous. In fact you were even able to make cell phone calls and sing Broadway show tunes from your ICU and even make a few posts on the Web even though Pitt has recently threatened to “smash you” if you make more posts in DUmmieland. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! Apparently Skinner is also quite FRIGHTENED by Scamdy’s appearance in Dummieland since he just tossed this whole thread down the Memory Pitt. Unfortunately for Skinner most of that thread has been PRESERVED here on the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the jolly healthy Andy Stephenson posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many more of Scamdy’s posts will be tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?

[The person who sent that Faux Fax that you suckered Pied Piper Pitt into posting on the Web as "proof” that you had pancreatic cancer?]

Guess why this is important and you win a big door prize. First right guess gets a cupie doll.

[That’s KEWPIE Doll and I award those to DUmmies who have a very brief moment of mental clarity. Such an award will be given to the first DUmmie to wonder how someone who supposedly had pancreatic cancer surgery has managed to remain as incredibly active as you have been, Scamdy.]

Andy ... how ARE you doing? Shouldn't you be resting?

[Resting? Hell no! Scamdy is feeling so chipper on the heels of his pancreatic cancer surgery that he is happily belting out Broadway show tunes on his cell phone from his ICU.]

Yeah Andy. How are you feeling these days?

[MUCH BETTER than Pied Piper Pitt. That’s for sure! Pitt has been spending all his time recently on his knees staring mesmerized at Scamdy’s zipper while waiting to be fed the latest bogus document that pops out of Scamdy’s toaster.]

Not feeling so great...

the incision will hurt for at least 4 weeks...then I get to have chemo and radiation. Fuuuun!

[The Fuuuun begins when you hit up DUmmieland again for money to pay for the chemo and radiation therapy.]

Who ta hell is Harasaki? Isn't it past your bedtime?

[Why should Scamdy hit the sack when he is so full of energy and other things?]

I am in too much pain to sleep. got out of the hospital today and the bed I am in is...well not as comfortable as the Hopkins bed was.

[Scamdy is not comfortable in his hotel bed. Please send money now for Scamdy to stay in a 5-Star hotel room.]

Got drugs?

[Better hope that Pied Piper Pitt doesn’t have drugs or we might have an OD case.]

yes but not as good as those delivered intravenously.

[Especially those drugs delivered via an intravenous rectal intrusion, Scamdy.]

Happy to see you in back in the game mode Andy!

[Just like he was back in ICU.]

I bet it was the surgeon, yes! and she was married to some other doctor but fell in love with Andy and got divorced and now she's the current Mrs. Andy Stephenson! And now that he's coming off the morphine he's thinking maybe he made a mistake.

[Yes, definitely a mistake. If Scamdy found himself married to Petra Verkaik he would also find himself in a state of deep revulsion. Now…if that fantasy included marriage to Pied Piper Pitt, that would be so much more romantic to Scamdy.]

God I hope not the former Mrs H is well lets just say not the marryin type. Her chidren have been known to desecrate church sancturaries.

[Which is worse: desecrating church sanctuaries or scamming people on the Web?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; dummies; skinner; willpitt
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To: Misty Memory

I just registered on your forum. It will be interesting to see if any DUmmies enter that forum.


881 posted on 06/02/2005 5:39:27 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: franksolich
"Tea of course is a popular part of the culture in England..."

So is paying the gov't a ransom for the use of one's TV; why doesn't he use a piece of paper covered with cut-out newspaper words, then?
882 posted on 06/02/2005 5:41:29 PM PDT by decal (Where were YOU when AndyScam broke?)
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To: wasp69

If you haven't been reading the DUmmie FUnnies at least 12 hours a day since April 28, sir, you missed out on a lot.

Too much to recount in anything less than a 500-page novel, and a very badly-written one at that.


883 posted on 06/02/2005 5:41:36 PM PDT by franksolich (checking with Western Union)
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To: Amityschild
Oklahoma's roads are some of the worst I have ever encountered. They are perpetuual Toll roads,

I lived in Tulsa in the early to mid 50's. The Will Rodgers was proposed as a toll road until the bonds were paid off. Well its 50 years later and it is still under constant construction and a toll road. It sucks to pay to drive on a road, and it is mostly two lanes.

It used to be a joke in Oklahoma that the current governor (either party) was allowed to steal the highway funds, no questions asked. It came with being governor.

884 posted on 06/02/2005 5:48:13 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: txradioguy

Speaking of barbeque. Tomorrow I go to a place that cooks the ABSOLUTE BEST chicken ever. It is in an industrial park behind an auto repair garage. Every Friday and Saturday a guy sets up a steel drum grill and makes the BEST Jerk Chicken. If you never had Jerk style food it was developed in Jamaica. It consists of local spices. The stuff is INCREDIBLE and MUCH BETTER that regular barbeque. And you can't buy food like this in a regular restaurant. This guy takes three days to prepare the Jerk from scratch and marinate the chicken. Then it is cooked slooowly to perfection. I love the stuff. Not much atmosphere but who cares. The Jerk Chicken is BEYOND BELIEF. I sort of make it a habit to be there Fridays for lunch, then go to the library, then return for supper. YUM!!!


885 posted on 06/02/2005 5:48:38 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: All

Someone should really post the "Andyscam Can" lyrics again for a little mood-lightening. That was some great stuff! The Freeper who wrote it is genius, but I don't think I've seen him/her around lately. Neither can I remember his/her name or find those posts with the song. Does anyone here have it saved or know where it can be found?


886 posted on 06/02/2005 5:50:58 PM PDT by Chappaquiddick Crawdad ("E unum pluribus"? Perhaps you meant "ex uno plures", or is that "stultus sum"? hmmm...)
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To: Amityschild
Two guys (and I don't have the cool graphics) spending one las week together before the other guy gets married. They go on a wine tasting trip to the So. Cal

How about the scene in the winery where one guy drinks all of the wine people were spitting out after tasteing. I almost barfed.

887 posted on 06/02/2005 5:51:10 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN
I use to say that about Pennsylvania. I traveled back and forth from Maryland to Pennsylvania for years and there wasn't a time that the roads weren't under construction. Not a lot of toll roads, just the same roads under construction year after year.
888 posted on 06/02/2005 5:51:11 PM PDT by beandog (The only time I was wrong was the time I thought I was wrong)
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To: decal

I hear the word TEABAG and I think of something completely different....jsut how my twisted mind works sometmes.

Especially whre those guys are concerned.


889 posted on 06/02/2005 5:52:43 PM PDT by txradioguy (In Memory Of My Friend 1SG Tim Millsap A Co. 70th Eng Bn ...K.I.A. 25 April 2005)
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To: Chappaquiddick Crawdad

That was none other than the illustrious Charles Henrickson.

I don't think he's reading today, because he has something about getting a Ph.D. in Hebrew going on.

So he's hitting the books rather than the DUmmie FUnnies.

But maybe somebody else has it.


890 posted on 06/02/2005 5:53:52 PM PDT by franksolich (checking with Western Union)
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To: txradioguy

When I saw the teabag, I had the same thought!


891 posted on 06/02/2005 5:55:43 PM PDT by Jacktown
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To: beandog
When I first went down south and ordered Iced Tea, I was surprised to learn there was something called sweet tea.

It depends upon your accent whether the waitress asks if you want 'sweet tea' or not. If they can detect that you aren't a native, they will ask. Afterwords they will call you a yankee and snicker. I spent a lot of time in Ms, Ar, Al and Tn during my 'travlin' days. I enjoyed all of it. The people are genuine and very accommodating, whereas I could care less about going to Chicago because I perceive the people to be hateful or snotty. Sorry to step on Chicago residents here, but thats the perception.

892 posted on 06/02/2005 5:58:20 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: lieutenant columbo

Your Linguistic Profile:
55% General American English
15% Dixie
10% Upper Midwestern
10% Yankee
0% Midwestern

One time on the radio when I was under 5, the DJ said if it's raining and the sun is shining it meant the Devil was fighting over his wife, but I figured it was close enough. Maybe the DJ said the Devil was fighting with his wife but we always said "fighting over" and I always wondered who the Devil was fighting with, I guess I imagined it was like two rams vying for the affection of the same ewe.

I didn't answer anything for drinking/water fountain since we call it a bubbler.

Also, I wasn't familiar with any of the words for an easy class. Maybe all my classes were just hard to me so I never had use for such a term, or maybe I knew a term at one time but I don't remember. "Crip class" seems familiar, now that I think of it, but I didn't know what it meant until now.

A fun little quiz.


893 posted on 06/02/2005 5:59:16 PM PDT by Duke Nukum (They're not people, they're hippies! --Eric Cartman)
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To: franksolich; All

Mine's pretty accurate:

55% General American English
20% Dixie
15% Yankee
5% Midwestern
5% Upper Midwestern

Most of my family came from the south (Arkansas & Alabama) but my mom's family is yankee blue-blood through and through. Guess the 10% from the midwest must have come while they were all making their way west.

Cindie


894 posted on 06/02/2005 5:59:55 PM PDT by gardencatz (A brass unicorn...has...catapulted across a...street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me!)
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To: franksolich; Chappaquiddick Crawdad; motzman; PJ-Comix
That was none other than the illustrious Charles Henrickson. I don't think he's reading today, because he has something about getting a Ph.D. in Hebrew going on. So he's hitting the books rather than the DUmmie FUnnies.

I didn't write the particular song to which CC refers--I think the "AndyScam" song was written by . . . motzman? I wrote a different song, "Undie Does Perp Walk."

As to my Ph.D. work (in Biblical Studies), I am preparing to take a two-hour sight-translation exam in Hebrew next Wednesday. So these days I'm working through Genesis 37-41, Deuteronomy 26-30, and Psalms 30-40. The selection to be translated for the exam could come from any of those chapters.

My Hebrew, which had grown rusty (I'm an NT/Greek major), is coming back nicely, but still I'm checking in on the DUFUs less frequently than I would otherwise.

895 posted on 06/02/2005 6:07:32 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where's Andy?)
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To: franksolich; All
I think I will make the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT concerning '08 election tomorrow. BTW, I am supporting the effort that I call Operation Groundswell but it is voluntary on my part. I was given the option from Up High to either support or not support the effort. Oh, and don't ask me for the Source. I have my own Deep Throat source that I'm NOT revealing (and that also means NO private FreepMail revelations either). It is related to the DUmmies in that it will send the DUmmies into a tizzie. It turns out that the DUFUs are read by MORE people of influence than I imagined.

p.s. I'm waiting until tomorrow morning because there is a story on the local news I want to catch in a little bit relating to the owner of the local Swap Shop going BERSERK. For South Floridians this is a MUST SEE.

896 posted on 06/02/2005 6:08:11 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: franksolich
And so I would consider that thingamajig the 5th Assistant Grand DUmmie "EarlG" uses, as merely an innocent symbol of what he is

Earl Grey is a brand of tea. But as far as I know, no self respecting Brit tea connoisseur would utilize tea bags.

897 posted on 06/02/2005 6:09:05 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: PJ-Comix

Where are you in Fl PJ? I used to go to Ft Lauderdale on a monthly basis. Always flew into Ft. Lauderdale rather than Miami.


898 posted on 06/02/2005 6:11:57 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: Chappaquiddick Crawdad

Here is a link where it is at, Will Pitt's blog at PDA

http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=23#comments

I don't know how to bring it over here.


899 posted on 06/02/2005 6:12:37 PM PDT by CaliGirl-R
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To: SCALEMAN

Lauderdale. The Jerk Chicken I get tomorrow is near State Rd 7 and Pembroke. In an industrial park.


900 posted on 06/02/2005 6:13:42 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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