The Lint Trap: Will smoking dryer lint become the newest drug epidemic to sweep the

www.freetheseed.com ^ | 03.20.05 | Chris Haire

[Chris Haire]

Knight-Rider) Charleston, S.C. -- Marianne Watson is your typical Daniel Island High School student. She likes shopping at the Galleria. She enjoys hanging out with her friends at Dancin’ Nancies on teen night. She is obsessed with singer Jack Johnson. But unbeknownst to her family, Marianne had a drug problem.

Her friends knew Marianne abused drugs, but troubled teens very rarely know the trouble they are in until it is too late. And in the case of Marianne Watson, the trap she fell into was well hidden. Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, LSD, heroin – Marianne knew to avoid these drugs. As a member of the local D.A.R.E. teen street team, she was well versed in the dangers of substance abuse.

But what happens when the drugs aren’t illegal? What happens when those drugs don’t cost a dime? Even worse, what happens when those drugs are available in your own home?

For Marianne, the drug pusher was two doors down the hall from her bedroom.

For Marianne, getting high was as easy as cleaning out the lint trap.

For Marianne, her high came from smoking dryer lint. Now she's in a coma.

She's not alone. An estimated eight teenagers in the Low Country of South Carolina have been admitted to local hospitals after smoking dryer lint, leaving experts wondering if they are witnessing the birth of a dangerous new drug epidemic, one that could put the 1980s crack epidemic to shame. Even more troubling, while drug epidemics generally target inner city areas, this new high knows no geographic or socio-economic boundaries. In fact, this new high could potentially be more prevalent among the middle and upper classes than any drug epidemic previously. After all, what suburban household doesn’t have a washer and dryer?

[Killborn]

Adios, troll. Been here way too long.

"Enemy sighted..."

"Got him."

Thus another troll is destroyed. The moral of this story is don't mess with the best.

"We bad!"

THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE 1776TH FREE REPUBLIC ZOT BATTALION. IF YOU ARE A TROLL, YOU WILL BE ZOTTED.

[506trooper]

When I saw this afternoon,I muttered "BS" and moved on-didn't even react to the Niterider (Knight-Rider) credit.

Why would you do that...I understand humor, and even read Scrappleface and the Onion regularly, but this seems a bit on the "fast and loose" on an ethics scale of my own making.

[R. Scott]

That's the beauty of it. It's free.

But what about all those poor kids that don’t have a dryer in the family home?

[R. Scott]

It's good for making your own paper.

[Chris Haire]

"Fast and loose" on the ethics scale... please explain.

[Finger Monkey]

Yes, I know, but that is a little too ambitious for me. So many projects begun, so few completed. Easier to turn it into mulch or let the birds use it for nesting materials.

[506trooper]

"(Knight-Rider) Charleston, S.C. -- Marianne Watson is your typical D..."

My bold.

Makes it appear to be a legitimate news source, even though it's obviously not, at least if you know the difference between Knight-Ridder and Night-Rider.

Your writing style is pretty good; I suspect this will be believed by many out on the net, and another urban myth will be born, or possibly some dumba$$ will try to smoke the lint.

I just have a problem with this type of "spoof".

That's why I stated an ethics scale of my own making

That's just me, you obviously have no requirement to adhere to my scale on anything, just my two cents.

Or maybe I was feeling a little grumpy last night...nothing to see here.

[R. Scott]

I was surfing through the channels once and saw a home decorating show. The lady was making fancy molded paper thingies from dryer lint.

[Chris Haire]

Hey, thanks for clarifying your statement. I appreciate it.

[Finger Monkey]

I know, I know, I am a slug. I even have a book on paper making. Have I ever made paper. No. But I really like the idea.

Maybe I'll make some cool lamp shades. My dryer lint has a lot of cat hair in it, maybe the lamp shades made of cat hair won't show the new cat hair so much.

Sorry, rambling.

[R. Scott]

WOW! A use for cat hair!

[Finger Monkey]

Let me tell you, I have a lot of uses for cat hair. Probably my most widely used use (?) is adding texture and visual interest to my clothing, as well as my carpet, my hardwood floor, my food, my furniture, you name it. Another favorite use is clogging my vacuum filters, great for that. The best use is padding my mattress.

Man, those little buggers are lucky I love them.

An actual use is to put the cat hair in your garden to keep the squirrels from digging around. No luck there so far, maybe the cat needs to be attached to it. Cat hair does do great things for mulch though - nitrogen, I think.

[R. Scott]

No luck there so far, maybe the cat needs to be attached to it.

I think having the cat attached to the hair would do it.
I used to blame my clogged vacuum on my little dog – until I noticed the hair was gray. The dog is blonde.

[Finger Monkey]

. . .until I noticed the hair was gray. The dog is blonde.

HA HA. Whew, the cigarettes caught up with me on that one.

I'm still trying to quit.

[R. Scott]

I really hate the pain that comes with trying to laugh and inhale smoke at the same time.

[Finger Monkey]

Yeah, that does hurt, and then you cough like you are dying. Well, at least I do.

[R. Scott]

And it ain't the cigarettes! Honest!

[JCRoberts]

did stephen glass write this??