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DUmmie FUnnies 03-03-05 ("Dem Strategy for Dummies")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | March 3, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 03/03/2005 7:23:51 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Any DUmmie thread such as this DUmmie THREAD titled, “"Dem Strategy for Dummies" will ALWAYS get my immediate attention because it includes “DUmmies” in it. So let us now read the grand strategy proposed by the DUmmies. One useful hint to the DUmmies is not to post your strategy in an open forum such as DUmmieland since we EVIL Republicans can easily devise counter-strategies to defeat you. Oh well, that’s why I guess you’re called “DUmmies.” And now let us view the not very secret DUmmie strategies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, spying in on you, is in the [brackets]:

I found this on Daily Kos an excerpt from a forthcoming book, "Dem Strategy for Dummies":

1. If Repubs say we're making a mistake, we're on the right track.

2. If Rebubs say we're being reasonable, we're making a mistake.

3. If Repubs snicker at a candidate (think Dean), they are afraid of him.

4. If Repubs praise a candidate (think Lieberman), he's a loser and/ or a spineless wimp.

[5. If Repubs DEFEAT you again at the polls it is because you were too DUmb to realize that Karl Rove is probably reading your DUmmie strategies and is already developing counter-strategies to use against you DUmmies.]

If democrats base where they stand on being reactionary to republicans, their making a huge mistake (both politically and ethically), and unfortunately they do this way too much as is...

[We control ALL your DUmmie strategies.]

The Republicans are allowed to frame every debate, and we have become caught up in the routine of simply reacting to their framing of each and every issue.

[That’s because you DUmmie Ants are so predictable.]

If Republicans encourage a polarization of the electorate because they know that it will help them get out their own vote, and will leave the Democrats without much appeal to the middle third, then Democrats shouldn't step into that trap -- and I think the Republicans were doing exactly that by "snickering" at Dean while also treating him like he was the only legitimate candidate for all of 2003. (Furthermore, "ABB" encouraged the polarization without giving anyone a reason to vote for democrats, and was, therefore, dumb and getting lured into talking about war and terror all the time without making a stand for Democratic values and middle class opportunity was dumb.)

[I am quite touched by this DUmmie’s admission of DUmbness. However, never fear. We will set more traps for you DUmmies to fall into thanx to the guidance of our MASTER, Karl Rove.]

ABB was Rove's best friend. It's unfortunate, but all the time when I talk politics with people, all I hear is how much Bush sucks, poeple could go on for hour after hour with it, but when I ask what do YOU actually STAND FOR, I get nothing ,but muddled incoherent murmurs.

[You bet. The well-planned ABB strategy suckered you DUmmiecrats into nominating the personality-challenged Kerry. However, Kerry has improved quite a bit so PLEASE don’t nominate Kerry in 2008. We really really fear him. Hee! Hee!]

Ugh. I totally agree. People wanted to win so badly, but they pursued...strategies that were so counterproductive, and they should have realized it. That's part of why terror and fear mongering are such useful tools for the RW. They get people so angry and excited that they act without thinking. Even here at DU, I remember "what do you stand for?" threads that were started by people who realized this was a problem, and there were literally 50 different answers to the question. It was hard to find two people who agreed about what Democrats stood for. And the things that people were saying they stood were often things that you were never going to get +50% of the population to get excited about. Job #1 of a candidate should be establishing a coherent, clear statement about what they stand for. Kerry was doing a good (not excellent) job of doing that, but Rove was doing a better job getting people to look away from Kerry and look at Bush as the reference point for everything, and "I stand against Bush" was never going to rally a lot of people in the middle even if it got people who really hated Bush to the polls.

[Our MASTER Rove is the political genius who is always two steps ahead of any move by the DUmmiecrats. Your every move is ALWAYS blunted by a BRILLIANT Rovian countermove. There is NO escaping the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

i was a strong supporter of ABB in the last election ... i did not like what i perceived to be Kerry's hawkishness on the war, but felt it necessary to support his candidacy once he won the nomination ... it may, indeed, have been Rove's best friend as another poster observed ... it was not the cause of our problems though; it was a symptom ... our differences should have been negotiated long before Kerry became the candidate ... sadly, they were not ... so ABB, not voting, or voting 3rd party was all that was left for many of us ...voting ABB was not a very rewarding experience ... it left me feeling very angry at the Democratic Party ... I won't be voting that way the next time ... either the Party will become more open and representative, or i'll be looking elsewhere for representation ...

[You will be voting the way our MASTER Rove WANTS you to vote. Oh, and MASTER Rove wants to THANK you DUmmies for so easily falling into his well-planned trap and nominating Kerry.]

But here's the catch: if you were really ABB, the best thing you...could do was NOT to go around proudly proclaiming you were ABB. The best thing would have been doing was to go around and pretend that Kerry was the best thing since sliced bread -- you should have been going around telling people you were for Kerry because of his stance on X, Y and Z (and the best X, Y and Z would have been things to do with protecting the middle class, allocating the tax burden fairly, carring about work and opportunity, etc.).

[MASTER Rove is already planning for your X, Y, and Z as well as your L, M, N, O, and P-P (the P-P in case Gore is nominated and has more strategic T-T breaks.)]

i campaigned very hard for Kerry ... i certainly never said to potential voters that i had reservations about Kerry ...but understand, it was important when speaking to other Democrats to highlight what i perceived to be Kerry's drawbacks and also to express my frustration with how the platform was developed ... ABB was not necessarily how people were campaigning; it was often how they saw Kerry on the issues ...

[So you were keeping it from the outside world how badly you thought Kerry sucked as a campaigner.]

Then Hillary '08 it is! Since all the republicans do is scream "Please! Run her! We'll win in an even bigger landslide!" then they truly must be afraid of her.

[Yes, yes! Run Hillary! That screeching voice of hers is sure to inspire MILLIONS of voters.]

No way will I vote for Hillary, regardless of what Repukes say. She's too pro-corporate, too pro-war, and too supportive of Israel's apartheid policies for me.

[Don’t worry. You WILL vote for Shrillary when she is nominated.]

And pay particular attention to Rule #1

[You’re making a mistake by nominating Shrillary! I tell you it is a MISTAKE!!!……hee! hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
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To: infidel29

Ants, beware, there is NO escaping the Perfect Rovian Storm!


41 posted on 03/03/2005 9:46:14 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (It's no picnic at the Ant Farm.)
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To: PJ-Comix
1. If Repubs say we're making a mistake, we're on the right track.

2. If Rebubs say we're being reasonable, we're making a mistake.

If your father didn't pull out: he made a mistake.

If your mother didn't abort: she made a mistake.

42 posted on 03/03/2005 9:58:42 PM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've actually given this a lot of thought, and I keep coming back to the same thing. If a DUmmie and I were discussing this subject, all I could say would be:

You guys are going to keep losing because...you're wrong about everything.

As a former lib, I have unusual insight into these people. I could write an essay as long as your arm, and it would all boil down to that one sentence. Republicans are certainly not right all the time. But the Dems are wrong all the time, on every issue currently before the American voters.

43 posted on 03/03/2005 10:03:16 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (In a very, very bad mood. :()
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To: PJ-Comix

Hey, PJ, did you see the thread today where Pied Piper Pitt was telling everyone to "keep an eye on Conyers"? He was supposed to do something big today. Any idea what that was supposed to be?


44 posted on 03/03/2005 10:28:12 PM PST by Purrcival (Dubya rocks!)
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To: Purrcival

Never mind that! I want to hear about steve2470 and Miss Drop-Dead Gorgeous! What about the Yanni concert? What about that second date? What about her cold sore?


45 posted on 03/03/2005 10:30:19 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Days of Our DUmmies.)
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To: Straight Vermonter

The DUmmies won't think the rich are paying "enough" until all of the hard-earned income of the rich is redistributed to those who haven't earned it.


46 posted on 03/03/2005 10:30:40 PM PST by Purrcival (Dubya rocks!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Hey, you're right! I want to know about that, too. What about it, steve2470?

<*crickets chirping*>

Yeah, that's what I thought.


47 posted on 03/03/2005 10:31:38 PM PST by Purrcival (Dubya rocks!)
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To: PJ-Comix

The DUmmies on DUmmies , very interesting .


48 posted on 03/03/2005 10:51:14 PM PST by Deetes
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To: Purrcival; Charles Henrickson
steve2470 and his "drop dead gorgeous date":


49 posted on 03/03/2005 11:08:27 PM PST by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (I feel more and more like a revolted Charlton Heston, witnessing ape society for the very first time)
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To: franksolich
"I figured if I ever win the Powerball lottery

I have a plan if I win the powerball. I will immediately place it in my lockbox, then get a laundry marker and write on my hand 'you won the lottery' so when I wake up in an unknown place with an enormous hangover and blank spots in my memory, I will know why.

50 posted on 03/04/2005 4:03:37 AM PST by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: Purrcival
Hey, PJ, did you see the thread today where Pied Piper Pitt was telling everyone to "keep an eye on Conyers"?

Link?

51 posted on 03/04/2005 4:10:50 AM PST by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Purrcival

I think Conyers was going to speak about voting reform or something like that... I know it had something to do with voting. Making it easy for people to get to the polls, making sure every vote counted.


52 posted on 03/04/2005 4:14:25 AM PST by just me
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To: PJ-Comix
Jeff Kleinman should know that your women friends also think he is the handsomest and sexiest man they have ever seen. Even those of us who have never actually seen Jeff also think that. Jeff if a hunk!
53 posted on 03/04/2005 5:20:29 AM PST by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix

I'm glad they believe all this. It makes matters so much easier.

Regards, Ivan


54 posted on 03/04/2005 5:24:19 AM PST by MadIvan (One blog to bring them all...and in the Darkness bind them: http://www.theringwraith.com/)
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To: Straight Vermonter

No, I'm sure that while Karl Rove may have some subconscious longing for the fjords, mountains, lakes, reindeer, and bison of Norway, on the whole, he is perfectly happy where he is, right here.


55 posted on 03/04/2005 5:54:58 AM PST by franksolich (ask me for the links to ALL of P.J.'s DUmmie FUnnies)
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To: PJ-Comix

The DUmmies are such fricking cowards. I never heard ONE of them say ABB was bad policy before the election, but now they are coming out of the woodwork saying it.


56 posted on 03/04/2005 5:56:13 AM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: Purrcival

"The DUmmies won't think the rich are paying "enough" until all of the hard-earned income of the rich is redistributed to those who haven't earned it."

Several months ago, I was watching O'Reilly and he had a guest who believed O'Reilly should pay 80-90% of his income in taxes. He said it was only fair.


57 posted on 03/04/2005 6:07:16 AM PST by imskylark
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To: PJ-Comix

"ABB was Rove's best friend. It's unfortunate, but all the time when I talk politics with people, all I hear is how much Bush sucks, poeple could go on for hour after hour with it, but when I ask what do YOU actually STAND FOR, I get nothing ,but muddled incoherent murmurs."

Keep doing what you're doing, DUmmies, and keep getting what you're getting.....


58 posted on 03/04/2005 6:42:20 AM PST by NRA1995 ("Yew jes' go and lay yore hand on a Pittsburgh Steelers fan & Ah think yer gonna fin'lly understand")
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To: imskylark

Mikey Moore said that on Oreilly once. Oreilly kept raising the percentage, saying "is that enough"? Mikey kept saying more, more..


59 posted on 03/04/2005 7:42:36 AM PST by CharlieOK1 (Pray every day for a ROE reversal!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Even here at DU, I remember "what do you stand for?" threads that were started by people who realized this was a problem, and there were literally 50 different answers to the question. It was hard to find two people who agreed about what Democrats stood for.

Hmmm...this seems to prove that there are only about 100 DUmmies at the DUmp. The rest of the "50,000" are FReeper trolls.

60 posted on 03/04/2005 9:08:24 AM PST by hattend (Liberals! Beware the Perfect Rovian Storm [All Hail the Evil War Monkey King, Chimpus Khan!])
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