Posted on 09/03/2017 11:34:00 AM PDT by EdnaMode
Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.
The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.
Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.
Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.
The result is “two overlapping (but distinctive) markets, one for sex and one for marriage, with a rather large territory in between comprised of significant relationships of varying commitment and duration,” Regnerus writes in “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy” (Oxford University Press).
In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society.
Now with porn on-demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time. This has left men with little motivation for marriage, writes Regnerus, who cites demographer Steven Ruggles’ prediction that one of every three people in their 20s will never marry.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
>>>Are there any decent college men who can show them there is another way to relate, or are they all in the same boat?<<<
Modern porn has fundamentally changed things. I saw this guy explaining how HD porn videos have changed men’s behavior. The old playboys didn’t do to the brain what HD video does. Further, the fact that you can click a new video one or two minutes later is pumping your brain full of dopamine. Later in the video he talked about this thing called “no fap”. Guys giving up internet porn and wanking to it. One poster on a no fap forum said he felt all strange when he saw a pretty girl. Per that guy’s description he was describing his heart fluttering. Modern porn use is causing that relationship dynamic to disappear.
Gay Wilson wrote a book called Your Brain on Porn. You can watch an interview with the Canadian Youtube philosopher Stefan Molyneux here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqx7yctQVk
Why?
I like solitude and all, but a companion of the heart is hard to beat.
Napoleon certainly inadvertently did those Spanish colonies a favor-my ancestors had intermarried with Natives/Indians and left Mexico for Texas and NM-the frontier-by 1790-as reputed Basque rebels, the further they were from the Spanish government the better they liked it...
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”...
*smile
It’s not just the young girls. Try being thin, pretty and early to mid-40s with no children. They seem to think they are poised to attract a great man who will sex them up, travel to Europe, pay for hair extensions, botox, nails etc. When nobody wants them it really screws with their heads. I happen to find two of them, just gorgeous I don’t care about their age. Whew...
Also I should know about this type of lady I’ve dated a few haha. At 48 I might decide the world needs a couple more little white “techworkers” so unless she knocks me off my feet... Gotta maintain my race. I was considering a 20-something Filipina but the race-aware person in me is fine with her having little girls but none from me. If I want to have kids I’ll stick with my people.
Plus since I’m honest and encouraged them to go find Mr. Beta Bucks, they still like to maintain an semi-frequest physical relationship where I get to here the horror stories. They end up struggling on the future partner search so they contact me “Chad Techworker” to see if I want to hang out for a bit.. Uhhh Sure, I’d love to...
If I’d led them on that I wanted marriage then I’d be the total jerk that women speak of. As it stands I’m in the “he’s a good guy, too soon to commit” category. Of course I have a 24.5 year marriage history before cancer made me widowed... It’s just that after being widowed I resumed my HS days of being a ladies man. I don’t regret my being married, but right now I’m not. I was a total manwhore from 16-22 and settled down when I was smitten. At my age get a real charge over having a little fling with someone 4-5 years older than my oldest son.
31 years now.
I would no more raise a hand to my wife or daughters than I would cut off my own arm.
People need to learn how to communicate. That means twice as much listening as it does speaking.
Your post makes my point: (a) working in construction in an effort to convince yourself you’re equal to a man, (b) raising cats, (c) talking about how strong and independent you are... I could go on and on.
That was the necessary paraphernalia for the war against natural sex.
A couple of years ago, some guy who was big in the Playboy Empire (Editor in chief? CEO? I can't remember what) wrote a book on the occasion of the 50th anniversary of the Playboy brand. His topic was a celebration of the Sexual Revolution.
He correctly opined that contraceptives are THE necessary paraphernalia of the Sexual Revolution. Why? Here's where it gets interesting. NOT ONLY because contraceptives denature heterosexual intercourse so that those most-dreaded complications ---babies--- don't result, BUT ALSO because the contraceptive mentality legitimizes every kind of sexual perversion.
"Perversion" is not the word he used --he termed it something like "sexual preference". But "perversion" is, by definition, any kind of "preference" which in practice ditches the essentially procreative structure and meaning of intercourse. By far the most numerous practitioners of denatured sex, and thus re-definers of marriage, are contracepting heterosexuals.
It's not just the rejection of marriage. It's the rejection of natural sex.
And if this made for "better sex," America would be a f***ing paradise. But now --- for so many --- it's purgatory or worse.
Your 100% correct. Porn has screwed men up to the point they’d rather wank than deal with women. On the other hand divorce porn (fireproof, lifetime, etc) has warped women’s sense of reality.
It’s just hard to be alone, to my way of thinking.
I honestly don’t know. I’ll have to ask Jeanne, the Student Health RN.
What on earth is this cat thing?
So she raises cats.
You are over the top.
Go away.
.
>>>What on earth is this cat thing?
So she raises cats.
You are over the top.
Go away.<<<
miss marmelstein and Mr. Cooper go back on forth on these type of threads. When I saw miss marmelstein commenting, I knew this was gonna be a great thread.
Chad Thundercock?
That’s a term some red pill guys use for the bad boy type that women seem to be attracted to. Nothing more, nothing less.
Worked in college counseling over twenty five years ago and that was true.
I proposed providing workshops to help the young women have some boundaries around their sexual relations. it was kyboshed. it wasn’t politically correct.
For You
by Davis/Ramey
sung by Bruce Springsteen
Princess cards she sends me with her regards
Barroom eyes shine vacancy, to see her you gotta look hard
Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her Cheshire smile, I'll stand on file, she's all I ever wanted
But you let your blue walls get in the way of these facts
Honey, get your carpetbaggers off my back
You wouldn't even give me time to cover my tracks
You said, "Here's your mirror and your ball and jacks"
But they're not what I came for, and I'm sure you see that too
[Chorus:]
I came for you, for you, I came for you
But you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you
But your life was one long emergency
And your cloud line urges me
And my electric surges free
Crawl into my ambulance, your pulse is getting weak
Reveal yourself all now to me, girl, while you've got the strength to speak
'Cause they're waiting for you at Bellevue with their oxygen masks
But I could give it all to you now, if only you could ask
And don't call for your surgeon, even he says it's too late
It's not your lungs this time, it's your heart that holds your fate
Don't give me my money, honey, I don't want it back
You and your pony face and your Union Jack
Well, take your local joker and teach him how to act
I swear I was never that way, even when I really cracked
Didn't you think I knew that you were born with the power of a locomotive
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
And your Chelsea suicide with no apparent motive
You could laugh and cry in a single sound
And your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds
Remember how I kept you waiting when it was my turn to be the god?
You were not quite half so proud when I found you broken on the beach
Remember how I poured salt on your tongue and hung just out of reach
And the band, they played the homecoming theme as I caressed your cheek
That ragged, jagged melody, she still clings to me like a leech
But that medal you wore on your chest always got in the way
Like a little girl with a trophy so soft to buy her way
We were both hitchhikers but you had your ear tuned to the roar
Of some metal-tempered engine on an alien, distant shore
So you left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
And it's not that nursery mouth that I came back for
It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor
'Cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?
And you should know that's true
[Chorus:]
They'd like you to think it's Latin for something, but it really stands for "Punish My Spouse."
They'd like you to think it's Latin for something, but it really stands for "Punish My Spouse."
They'd like you to think it's Latin for something, but it really stands for "Punish My Spouse."
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