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An Irish Priest was transferred to Texas. He rose from his bed one fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day to yourself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead...

According to Politico, Anthony Weiner has hired one staffer in preparation for his run for mayor of New York City. Two sources said that they couldn’t tell Politico the staffer’s name or what position he/she will assume under the former Congressman.

If “Good Morning America” or “World News” look any different in the coming weeks, it might be because ABC News is employing nearly 400 fewer people. David Westin, president of ABC News, said this was “a difficult time for everybody” involved. Brian Rooney, an ABC reporter in Los Angeles, was let go. Earlier this week, ABC News, a unit of the Walt Disney Company, largely completed one of the most drastic rounds of budget cutbacks at a television news operation in decades, affecting roughly a quarter of the staff. The cutbacks promise to change ABC both on- and off-camera. For...

Latest News From Zogby! Developing—Obama hits record low in Zogby Interactive—45% approve…... [ read on ] (8/20/09)

A teenager inspired by an ancient fertility symbol has painted a 60ft-long phallus on the new roof of his parents £1million house. Rory McInnes, 18, decided to give aerial observers an eyeful, with the aid of a tin of white paint, after watching a documentary on Google Earth. But the imposing member remained a closely-guarded secret for a year before it was 'discovered' by a helicopter pilot flying over the area, who let his passengers take photos. Fortunately for Rory, he was already safely on the other side of the world when his parents found out, on a gap-year in...

President-Elect Barack Obama's transition team is reported to be deeply divided over whether to offer a post to Monica Lewinsky, the former White House Intern whose intimate relationship with President Bill Clinton led to his impeachment. Until now, Lewinsky was one of the few high-profile figures from the Clinton Presidency who had not been recruited for the incoming Obama team. Mr. Clinton's brother Roger is another, though on Friday there were rumors he would be named ambassador to Spain. One group, which includes David Axelrod, Mr. Obama's campaign manager who has been named his senior advisor, favors the move to...

I think Charlize Theron is my ultimate Goddess of a Woman.

It's Friday Let the Silliness Begin!

Globalization: Venezuela's Hugo Chavez is having a grand time cavorting around the world on his Axis Of Evil tour. But we notice he's disgusting as many countries as he's wooing. Vietnam is the most interesting. Chavez blew into Hanoi on Monday and right away began praising Vietnam's government in exactly the way it didn't want: by hailing communism. "Vietnam, with its valor, defeated imperialism not only on the battlefield, but also has maintained socialism in the ideological arena," the South American dictator intoned. Uh-huh. To Vietnam's officials, who've been trying diligently to integrate their nation into the world economy, that's...

DAKAR, Senegal - A New Yorker's attempt to become the first black American to row solo across the Atlantic ended when his homemade boat sprung a leak hours after he left the coast of Africa Sunday. Victor Mooney radioed for help after his boat started taking on water, according to a press release on his Web site. He was rescued by the Senegalese navy, but the 24-foot craft he built for the journey sank into the ocean...

Fuk King Kwok was waiting for his driver's license to be printed when his name was called and a chuckling Illinois secretary of state employee offered some advice. "She [said] this is a dangerous name," the Chinese immigrant recalled. "She [said] the name translated is not so good, maybe I should change [it]. The word I hear is not so good." Not so good, indeed.

Body of Steelers Fan Viewed in Recliner PITTSBURGH (AP) -- The body of rabid Pittsburgh Steelers fan James Henry Smith, who died Thursday, was laid out this week in what his family said was his favorite spot - a recliner with the Steelers on the television. Smith, 55, of Pittsburgh, died of prostate cancer. Because his death wasn't unexpected, his family was able to plan ahead for the unusual viewing Tuesday night. Mourners stood before a small stage erected in the viewing room of the Samuel E. Coston Funeral Home, on which funeral director Roland Criswell had placed furniture, much...

Herbert M. Hazelkorn, DDS, PhD Herbert M. Hazelkorn, of Glencoe, Illinois, left us on December 7, 2004, of a broken heart at the recent passing of his wife of 35 years, Bobby, exacerbated by a broken spirit arising from the results of the Presidential election. Born March 14, 1924 in Brooklyn, NY, Herb graduated from the University of Illinois at Navy Pier, then U of I Dental School, and after retirement from 40 years in dentistry, he earned his doctorate in Public Health at U of I. Herb, a former Naval officer, was an internationally known public and political activist....

Hi I Am SmokeyWelcome to my establishment!

<p>Is this thing on? Plug in that cord over there. Yes that one. NO NOT INTO THAT PLUG yes that one. Thanks. Testing 1 2 3.</p> <p>Hi everyone. Your friendly neighborhood AM here.</p> <p>Keywords. You've seen them. You love them. Maybe you have even abused them.</p> <p>Please don't abuse keywords. There are children in China doing without keywords.</p> <p>1) Having who added what keyword be revealed at the whim of sadistic moderators, such as myself.</p>