Keyword: satire
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Serial liar and former President Barack Obama’s national security adviser, Susan Rice tried out several versions of events as emerging evidence demolished earlier stories she told about the surveillance activities carried out during the Obama term. In the first version the possibility that Donald Trump and his team were spied on by the government was flatly denied. “As FBI Director James Comey has clearly stated, there was no wire-tapping of Trump,” Rice maintained. After it turned out that the Obama Administration had covertly listened in on Trump team members’ phone calls, Rice asserted that she “knew nothing about it.” When...
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Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton touted herself as "a working model of what a young woman needs to do to succeed in today's world. I know that a lot of women in my generation are pretty bummed about my Mom's loss to Donald Trump. But they need to get off their duffs and get going. Just do what I did." "One thing that I highly recommend for others is to get a job with a major television news outlet," she suggested. "These jobs are very rewarding. My starting salary at NBC News was $600,000. This type of salary will enable...
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Marge Swanson, a fat acceptance activist who helped pioneer the concept of thin privilege, is dead from a heart attack. She was 34 years old. Swanson championed the notion that weight and health have no inherent connection. She enjoyed dying her hair bright colors, wearing glasses and dating African American men. “It’s not that I’m thin-phobic,” she once told an audience on a college campus. “It’s just that curvy women have been enslaved and victimized by capitalists for far too long and yeah, I’m upset.” Swanson was born the middle of five children to a working class family in rural...
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Professional clowns have complained that the viral trailer for the new film version of Stephen King’s IT is stoking anti-clown prejudice comparable to racism. Outraged members of the clowning community lamented that the remake of the 1990 horror series – a trailer for which has recently taken the internet by storm – is entrenching negative perceptions about them. The two-and-a-half-minute teaser broke after racking up 197 million views in just 24 hours. It’s safe to say lots of people are excited about the return of Pennywise the killer clown – but not clowns themselves.Interviewed for Mel Magazine, several professional...
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Jon Ossoff, the Georgia Democrat running for the House seat vacated by Republican Tom Price who is now Trump’s Secretary of Health and Human Services, has been campaigning as a man “with five years of top secret security clearance.” The truth is that Ossoff has had quite a bit less time with top secret clearance. While the candidate admitted that he had a US top secret clearance for only five months he defended his campaign claims by asserting that his employment at an investigative film company that does work for Al Jazeera over the last three years “has more than...
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In Florida, a student—Marshall Polston—was suspended for challenging his Muslim professor Areej Zufari's assertion that the claim Jesus was crucified is a hoax. Rollins College officials maintained that "the suspension was necessary because the student disobeyed the instructor's order to stay out of the classroom. We strive to ensure an orderly transmission of knowledge from the professor to the students. Those students who disrupt this process by needlessly disagreeing with the teacher must be removed for the process to work as designed." However, when evidence, including surveillance camera footage, contradicted Zufari's contention that Polston had been disruptive the suspension was...
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Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe (D) vetoed a legislative act that would have allowed women with a protective order against a violent spouse or domestic partner to quickly obtain a handgun permit. Normally, it takes about 45 days to process a handgun permit request. McAuliffe said the bill would be a threat to public safety. “There are already too many people with guns,” he argued. “We ought to be decreasing the number of them who are armed.” The Governor explicitly rejected the contention that women at risk of bodily harm from domestic partners would benefit from the legislation. “Very few abusers...
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California Attorney General Xavier Becerra has filed 15 felony charges against David Daleiden and Sandra Merritt for secretly recording Planned Parenthood officials who thought they were negotiating the sale of body parts from aborted fetuses. The crime: recording without consent. "Inasmuch as the sales being negotiated were of dubious legality it should be obvious that the Planned Parenthood officials whose words were captured on video would not have voluntarily consented," Becerra pointed out. "The covert recording and subsequent airing of the conversations did irreparable harm to the reputations of both the Planned Parenthood organization and the individuals who work there."...
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This week's revelation by Democratic operative Evelyn Farkas that the Obama Administration had the Trump campaign under surveillance and shared the information gathered with the Hillary Clinton campaign sparked a spirited defense from long-time California Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters. "Many small-minded people focus on the illegality of spying on American citizens for political gain as if that is more important than the fact that a traitor has become this nation's president," Waters said. "President Obama put in place an organization that contains a kind of database that no one has ever seen before in life. That's going to be very...
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LOS ANGELES, CA—In the wake of his announcement that he would be charging the creators of the undercover videos that exposed Planned Parenthood’s practice of selling fetal tissue with 15 felonies, California Attorney General Xavier Becerra clarified Wednesday that secretly filming people for the purpose of exposing animal cruelty is “still totally fine.” “I just want to make sure the people trying to expose the mistreatment of animals are not dissuaded by the 15 felony charges I’ve slapped those guys with who filmed the undercover Planned Parenthood videos,” Becerra said in an interview on MSNBC, stressing his concern that animal rights activists...
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Despite the fact that it is illegal for non-citizens to vote in American elections, Nebraska Democratic Party chairwoman Jane Kleeb is quite proud of her Party’s initiative in including voter registration forms in the “Welcome to Nebraska” packages handed out to newly arrived immigrants. “Rather than sit back and submit to the racist and xenophobic restrictions enacted by white men, I am pleased to say that the Democratic Party is reaching out to ensure that the human right to vote of these new Americans will be realized in our state,” Kleeb bragged. Kleeb acknowledged that “technically, registering non-citizens to vote...
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EXCLUSIVE: “AMERICA 2021” Hilarious Poem Describes What America Looks Like After 4 Years Of President Trump By 100% FED Up - Mar 26, 2017 Another brilliant poem from Tony Olson, author of the viral “Twas The Night Before Inauguration” and “Ode To Liberal Lunacy”… AMERICA 2021 Trump is off and running now, and I’m here to confirm, There’ll be a lot of changes by the end of his first term. Let’s put the turbulence on hold and have a little fun . . . Here’s my look at where we’ll be in 2021. Trump’s been re-elected with another strong campaign,...
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A lawyer for a 16-year-old Muslim immigrant to Sweden is challenging his 40 hours of community service punishment for raping a 13-year-old girl, calling it “unwarranted.” The sexual assault took place last July in Gothenburg. The assailant posted a video of the attack on the Internet. “As one can see from the numerous comments on the video, it is the girl who was at fault,” claimed Kamal Humpur, a lawyer for the assailant who was only identified as “Ali” because he is a minor. “She had no covering. Her face was fully exposed. Clearly, she is a whore. Ali cannot...
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In an attempt to disqualify prospective Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif), the ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, anointed 1973's Supreme Court decision on Roe vs. Wade a "super precedent" that ought to be "immune from being overturned." The Senator rejected the possibility that killing a person without a previous finding of guilt by a jury might be contradictory to the Constitution's Fifth Amendment. "I am dismayed by Judge Gorsuch's view that the intentional taking of a human life by private persons is always wrong," Feinstein lamented. "Surely, he must be aware that there are instances...
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The appointment of University of Southern California Professor Raphael Bostic as president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta garnered praise from some leading Democrats in Congress. Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown, top Democrat on the Senate Banking Committee, hailed the appointment, calling it "a long overdue injection of new blood into the governance of monetary policy. Up to now there has been no one to represent a gay black perspective on interest rates, banking, and the economy. Dr. Bostic's ascendance to this prominent position plugs a gap that has stigmatized Fed policy for over 100 years." California's Rep. Maxine Waters,...
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This week Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) questioned Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-Ken) loyalties after Paul voted not to extend NATO military support to Montenegro. In turn, Paul questioned McCain’s judgment. As McCain reasoned, Paul’s refusal to extend the United States’ guarantee to defend Montenegro from potential Russian aggression was “doing Putin’s bidding.” As Paul sees it, though, “the United States is already overextended in terms of its military deployments around the world and it would be foolish to add to that.” “Inasmuch as Sen. McCain has been an avid advocate of arming every Islamic ‘freedom fighter’ in the Middle East, including...
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Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan warned European governments against moves aimed at resisting Islamization of their countries. “Allah has decreed that all the world belongs to Islam,” he declared. “Acceptance of this reality is the path of peaceful submission to Allah’s will. Efforts to reject this reality will only lead to open warfare and the massacre of the unbelievers.” Erdogan’s bellicose stance was prompted by the European Union’s decision to allow employers to ban head scarves in their workplaces. “They try to portray it as a safety measure,” Erdogan said. “But the lives that would be saved by such a...
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WASHINGTON (AP) – at 12:15pm today President Trump disclosed that he has reached an agreement with Enrique Peña Nieto, President of Mexico, which provides for the sale of substantially all of the State of California to the country of Mexico. President Trump noted that this deal, which he claims “is his YUGEst real estate deal ever” is a win-win for everyone involved. The two billionaires, who have clashed in the past, set aside their differences and negotiated the deal in which Mexico will pay for the wall, in exchange for the State of California.
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This week, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow used an illegally obtained copy of Donald Trump’s 2005 federal tax forms to assail the President as “not as smart as he wants everyone to believe he is.” The evidence cited by Maddow was that the tax forms showed Trump paid 25% of his income for 2005 to the federal government. “Here’s this so-called business genius coughing up a quarter of his earnings to the feds,” she mocked. “This compared unfavorably to presumed financial naifs Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) and Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt), who paid 18.7% and 13.5%, respectively. It looks like the guys...
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New York State Assemblyman David Weprin (D-Hollis) State Sen. Tony Avella (D-Queens) have introduced legislation that would empower the state government to order the erasure of Internet content that is "inaccurate, irrelevant, inadequate, or excessive." "The way it is now is that any government official can be accused of corruption by anyone who has access to the Internet," Weprin complained. "Once the accusation is posted it essentially lives forever on the web. This can unfairly taint a person's reputation. Our bill says that unless an official government investigation and prosecution is undertaken the accusatory content can be ordered removed under...
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