Free Republic

The President announced today that he was ordering his "Never Let A Crisis Go To Waste Team" into action on the crisis on the border. With thousands of children abandoned by their families and dropped across the border, immediate action was necessary. Jay Carney, outgoing administration paid liar, is the spokesman for the crisis team. The HHS Secretary has been ordered to set up and operate auctions to get these children out of refugee camps and into permanent homes. Auctions will be set up in all the major Progressive cities in the US. Because the reproductive rate for LGBT couples...

As if cheers and glorification that Bowe Bergdahl received from the White House, as well as from ESPN, MSNBC, and other media outlets were not enough, the returning POW has just come out of the closet as a gay Muslim, giving his fans yet another reason to celebrate his courage and heroism. Rachel Maddow devoted an entire episode of her show celebrating the "marriage of the world's most tolerant religion with the world's most tolerant lifestyle." "I can't tell you how happy I am to see the glorious day when gays and Muslims stand hand in hand," said Maddow, "This...

Today, when asked about the violence surrounding Pro-Russian counter-rebellion in Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin informed the public that no such violence was occurring. “The Perpetrators of these actions are not separatists,” Putin was quoted as saying. “These are not acts of separatism, but merely spontaneous demonstrations in response to an offensive YouTube video.” The YouTube video in question is a thirty-second clip of a Lenin Statue toppling in Ukraine, made by an almost unknown 33-year-old male with the YouTube account name TheOriginalNoJokeHonestToGoodnessNotLyingOnlyRealNinjaPirate33. The Video had already collected six and three quarters views before the Malaysian government took it off...

Returning POW, Bowe Bergdahl, has been lauded by ESPN and MSNBC, and several other media outlets, for his courageous coming out as a gay Muslim. Rachel Maddow devoted an entire episode of her show celebrating the “marriage” of the world’s most tolerant religion with the world’s most tolerant lifestyle. “I can’t tell you how happy I am,” said Maddow, “to see this day when gays and Muslims stand hand in hand. This is just more proof, not that we needed any, that right wing Christian Nazis are not only out of the mainstream, but fading away in our culture altogether....

VIDEO

As news emerges that newly repatriated Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl may have been a deserter and collaborator with the Taliban, President Barack Obama's national security adviser Susan Rice 's comment that Bergdahl had served with "honor and distinction" has come under fire. Undaunted by these unfavorable revelations, Rice insisted that her initial assessment still stands. "President Obama honored Sgt Bergdahl in his Rose Garden statement," Rice pointed out. "You can't ask for a higher honor than one bestowed by the President of the United States. And as for distinction, Bergdahl is now the most famous soldier to have served in...

Stand up and unite against the busting of chops. Some adult language.

News that the billionaire Koch brothers have donated $25 million to the United Negro College Fund spurred Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev) to demand an investigation. "In the midst of a raft of phony scandals the GOP has been trying to cook up on the IRS, Benghazi, and now the terrorists traded for a POW, we see that the two most dangerous men in America are extending their tentacles into yet another sector of society," Reid complained. "I, for one, find this latest development frightening. What sinister plan are they trying to implement?" Reid contrasted "the very live threat represented by...

Secretary of State John Kerry-Heinz today broke his silence on the Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl case. SOS "Swift Boat" John stated that Sgt. Bergdahl had been on a secret mission with the CIA in Cambodia. Although it appeared that the Taliban had captured Sgt. Bergdahl it was all part of a ruse to cover Sgt. Bergdahl's absence while he was on a secret mission in Cambodia. To provide cover for his return, the CIA had convenience store employees flown in from Detroit to dress up and act as Taliban fighters for his return. Swift Boat John said that they had not...

The Québec National Assembly voted 94-22 to approve the so-called “dying with dignity” act. Under the provisions of this legislation any patient may request and will be granted euthanasia regardless of medical condition. Véronique Hivon, Minister for Social Services and Youth Protection, enthusiastically boasted that “we have done away with the notion that a person must be terminally ill before a merciful death can be prescribed. Now anyone who wants to end his life can simply order up the procedure.” Alex Schadenberg, executive director of the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition characterized the legislation as “a dangerous step down the path to...

Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel (aka Dr. Death) was nominated by the President to be the new permanent head of the Veterans Administration. Dr. Death has an illustrious career in medicine and is best known for his invention of Death Panels for the Obamacare tax law. Triggering the invention of the death panels was Dr. Death's creation of the "bell curve of death" which highlighted the unnecessary medical expense for people at the low end (infants and children) and the high end (seniors). Dr. Death demonstrated that it was infeasible and uneconomical to provide any medical treatment to these people other than...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Obama announced today that a deal had been struck with North Korea to trade the South Korean capital of Seoul to secure the safe return of the USS Pueblo, a U.S. Navy spy ship held captive since 1968. Standing next to the ship’s christener, Mrs. Dorothy Duvall of Palm Beach, Florida, the president told reporters at the Rose Garden ceremony he decided to act when he learned of the ship’s “rapidly deteriorating condition.” “Could we someday regret handing over the capital city of an important ally to its mortal enemy? Absolutely. Might this encourage more mischief...

In 1994 California voters approved a ballot measure that blocks illegal aliens from receiving welfare benefits. Now State Senator Kevin de Leon (D-Los Angeles) has introduced a Senate Bill (396) that would overturn the 1994 vote and make these undocumented residents eligible for publicly-funded aid. "These people are the poorest of the poor," de Leon said. "They came to this country to escape the poverty of their native lands. It is inhumane for us to deny them relief at the end of their arduous treks." The Senator dismissed concerns that the State budget was already too strained to bear the...

President Obama continued to insist that Sgt Bergdahl's health was a major factor in his decision to negotiate the exchange with the Taliban. "On the videos I saw he looked sick," the President said. "And based on what I've been reading in the newspapers the waiting time for medical treatment for veterans is dangerously long. As it is, veterans already in this country have to wait months, possibly years, to receive critically needed care. I felt it was crucial for me to get Bergdahl back as soon as possible so he could take his place on this lengthy queue." The...

On the 70th anniversary of D-Day, President Obama commended "the brave sacrifice of those who stormed ashore that day," but advised that "we must temper our admiration by the realization that the combat units involved were not racially integrated, no women were among the ranks, gays were still in-the-closet, and transgenders were not yet accorded full social acceptability they deserve." Obama congratulated himself "for having the fortitude and initiative to move forward on these critical fronts so that we can finally glimpse the goal that the men who died here 70 years ago gave their lives to help secure." if...

After the recent revelation of long wait times and delays in care at VA hospitals shocked the nation, congressional Democrats from both houses and independent journalists undertook their own investigation to determine the cause of the problem. What they found was shocking: evidence of a coordinated conspiracy among numerous ill veterans to avoid seeking medical care and blame their subsequent problems on President Obama. "It's racism pure and simple." said one congressional staffer who played a tape recording of a VA patient telling an undercover investigator "I'm supposed to go for a colonoscopy next week but I'm gonna skip it...

ROME – Pope Francis led a pep rally yesterday in Rome’s Olympic Stadium in front of more than 50,000 Catholics who follow charismatic movements.While listening to what many have termed “the most heinous music ever prayed to,” 50,000 Catholics raised their hands in unison as they prayed for Francis, who silently and repeatedly asked God Almighty to just make it stop.Francis told the faithful that the devil wants to destroy the family, which he described as the “domestic church,” and went on to plead for the end of the use of torture.“We also call on the international community to put...

Senator Edward Markey (D-Mass) is pushing legislation (S-2219) that would empower the federal government to monitor all media to ferret out “hate speech.” “There is a large reservoir of bigotry in our population,” Markey said. “If we are to stamp it out we need to know who is spreading these vile thoughts. While we can’t listen in on everybody at this point we can access all communications passing over the Internet and airwaves.” The Senator denied his Bill is an invasion of privacy. “The Internet and the airwaves are in the public domain,” Markey asserted. “In effect, this means that...

For the 21st consecutive quarter the US economy has failed to live up to the Obama Administration’s promised improvement. The revised GDP for the January-March period of 2014 showed a 1% decline. The vaunted recovery from the “Great Recession” remains elusive. Jason Furman, Chairman of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, attributed the decline in GDP to “bad weather,” which he blamed on “GOP resistance to the President’s efforts to curb global climate change.” “In one sense, bad weather can just be bad luck,” Furman suggested. “The Soviet economy was hammered year-after-year by an incredible streak of bad weather from...

Senator Thad Cochran (R-Miss) continues to decline invitations to debate his Republican primary opponent Chris McDaniel on the grounds that “this is a race for the United States Senate, not a debating society.” “The voters of Mississippi have had 40 years to get to know my views,” Cochran pointed out. “I don’t see how a few hours of debate at this late date could provide a significant augmentation of what I’ve said and done in my service to the citizens of this fine state over this lengthy period.” “By appearing on the same platform with my less-experienced challenger I would...