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Donald J. Trump 2,732,084 Joseph R. Biden 2,655,383 Jo Jorgensen 47,215 Write-In (Miscellaneous) 12,940 Howie Hawkins 11,825 Don Blankenship 7,381

Kiddie sex is possibly the most controversial topic any movie can examine. Slip anything into your movie about sex involving a child (whether the child is being molested by someone older, or is doing it with another child) and you guarantee plenty of censorship and angry chatter about censorship, not to mention pretentious eggheads trying to make the case that people are taking this way too seriously and kiddie sex totally isn't what the movie's about. Sometimes those pretentious eggheads are right, and the detractors really are focusing too much on one little scene or insinuation to the exclusion of...

(Full title: We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen And A Fine Human Being) A note from the editorial board at The Babylon Bee: A number of people have questioned our love for Hillary Clinton based on some satirical pieces published on our site recently. We would like to clear things up by saying that Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. The people who wrote those jokes, headlines, and pieces that seemed to criticize Hillary have...

CHICAGO, IL—Immediately upon Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s recent declaration of the entire city of Chicago as an official “crime-free zone,” every criminal in the city suddenly and miraculously left the urban area, according to a statement released by the city council. “We declare every part of the city of Chicago a crime-free zone,” Emanuel announced in a Thursday appearance on CBS This Morning. “It is now physically impossible for any crime to be committed in our great city, because we declared it a zone of peace and harmony and criminals have no choice but to abide by our new rule.” Emanuel...

An Oklahoma high school teacher and a 16-year-old student allegedly initiated proceedings to get married. Cassandra Renae White, 34, and the male high school sophomore filed for a marriage license in Cleveland County on December 13, KFOR reports. The news station further reports that the boy's father signed off on the marriage license. White was terminated by Davis High School the following day, Davis Public Schools said in a statement. Cassandra Renae White, 34, has been fired from Davis High School (pictured) after allegedly filing for a marriage license with a 16-year-old student Per KTEN, their policy on such matters...

MAYADIN, SYRIA—Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State, released a statement Wednesday confirming that ISIS would be immediately surrendering its fight to establish a powerful caliphate after viewing an interview in which pop singer Katy Perry said, “The greatest thing we can do just unite and love on each other and like, no barriers, no borders, like, we all need to just co-exist.” The powerful statement which single-handedly dismantled ISIS came shortly after a terrorist attack on civilians in Manchester killed 22 people, and led the reclusive head of ISIS to hold an emergency press conference declaring the...

GRAVEYARDS ARE FILLED WITH IRREPLACEABLE (WO)MEN:Welcome to the real world.UPDATE (FROM GLENN): I had lunch at Shoney’s today. All the waitresses seemed to have shown up. Related: ‘A Day Without a Woman’ is a strike for privileged protesters. “Make no mistake, March 8 will mostly be a day without women who can afford to skip work, shuffle childcare and household duties to someone else, and shop at stores that are likely to open at 10 and close at 5.” Lots of public employees taking a day of “personal leave” by all appearances.

[snip] Compared to his hate speech against Muslims, Mexican immigrants and women, Trump's rhetoric against LGBTQ Americans was relatively tame during his campaign for the presidency. His policy-related promises, of course, told a different story — Trump pledged to support the First Amendment Defense Act, which would allow businesses and healthcare organizations to legally discriminate against LGBTQ folks. He supports HB2, North Carolina's infamous law that prevents trans people from using the bathroom of their choice. And he appointed Mike Pence to be his vice president, the governor best known for his plan to defund AIDS research and support conversion...

FBI investigators will exonerate Hillary Clinton for the second time this year, a top House Democrat said in response to news that the agency found new emails "pertinent" to the probe of Clinton's private email server. "Nothing in today's letter suggests that the FBI or the Department of Justice will reach a different conclusion than the one they reached months ago, when they decided criminal prosecution was unwarranted," Michigan Rep. John Conyers, the top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee, said Friday. FBI Director James Comey shocked D.C. with a short letter to several members of Congress that said he...

Would you be surprised to learn that tens of billions in cold, hard cash was shuffled around just prior to 9-11 by none other than the Fed itself? Probably not. Here's a graph, illustrating the change in USD currency production over a ten week period prior to 9-11 compared to the average over the five years prior (which, by the way, includes the Y2K money printing orgy in the year 2000 itself, which skews the average higher):

This is my column in yesterday’s Greenville News. A direct link requires a subscription, so I reprinted it here. Thanks! Being ‘hung up’ about sex isn’t so horrible One of the chief objections to Christianity is that it meddles in people’s personal lives. This is a curious objection, in some ways. Christianity has fairly little to say about food or drink, except to advocate moderation. And very little to say about clothing, except that modesty is appropriate. It’s silent on computers and automobiles. And it generally advocates discipline couched in love where children are concerned. What its detractors mean often...

You will recall that Palin-hating blogger David Epstein was arrested in December and charged with felony incest for having sex with his adult daughter (now 24) from 2006 through 2009.One of our readers has obtained court documents (for Case #2010NY090162) indicating that Epstein copped a plea to a misdemeanor charge of attempted incest. (Click the image to enlarge). That ruling was on May 11 — two weeks ago — and yet I can find no news reports about Epstein’s conviction. You might think that at least the New York Times would find the disposition of this case newsworthy.The alert reader...

In an interview today, the author at the center of a controversy about Amazon’s sale of a self-published pedophile’s guide told TSG that he has sold exactly one copy of the book and revealed that he was involuntarily hospitalized following a “mental breakdown.” Noting that, “I have what they call manic depression,” Phillip Greaves, 47, said that he himself was not a pedophile and that “the best advice I can give a pedophile is accept that masturbation is your best friend.” Greaves’s book, “The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct,” last week became available for...

NEW YORK – Amazon is selling a self-published book defending pedophiles, sparking discussions about the retailer's obligation to vet items before they are sold in its online stores. The book, "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct" by Philip R. Greaves II, offers advice to pedophiles afraid of becoming the center of retaliation. It is an electronic book available for Amazon.com Inc.'s Kindle e-reader. The book has triggered mounting outrage on Twitter and beyond. A chorus of Twitter users is calling for Amazon to pull the book, with a few threatening to boycott the Kindle...

As the one year anniversary of Barack Obama's inauguration nears, it is a metaphysical certitude his fawning media will look back upon the past 365 days with the starry-eyed impartiality of a teenybopper in the presence of a rock star. Before the President's fans in the press embarrass themselves, maybe they should take a cue from comedian Jon Stewart who on Thursday exposed numerous campaign promises the former junior senator from Illinois has broken that have not surprisingly missed the scrutiny of those supposedly in the business of disseminating "real" news to the public. With the help of his "senior...

Volunteers have reported that ‘a large number’ of elderly customers are snapping up hardbacks as cheap fuel for their fires and stoves. Temperatures this week are forecast to plummet as low as -13ºC in the Scottish Highlands, with the mercury falling to -6ºC in London, -5ºC in Birmingham and -7ºC in Manchester as one of the coldest winters in years continues to bite. Workers at one charity shop in Swansea, in south Wales, described how the most vulnerable shoppers were seeking out thick books such as encyclopaedias for a few pence because they were cheaper than coal. One assistant said:...

Booyah!* … UK Telegraph. BBC: Hacking is wrong and issues have two sides! UK Telegraph … Booyah! NYT: Hacking fuels skeptics! Hacking can be embarrassingly revealing, but may eventually lead to a plausible explanation, because “trick” doesn’t mean “deception” and we’re still working on “hide the decline” because we’re convinced the body of evidence shows … (OK, what’s the trick when you need to hide the decline. Lessee, maybe the scientists we just interviewed who confirmed they wrote these emails but hadn’t come up with a good excuse yet can help here. When they do.) Booyah! … UK Telegraph. Charles...

"Saturday Night Live" opened its show last night with a comedy sketch that scorched President Obama over his economic policies including health care, "Cash for Clunkers" and borrowing billions of dollars from China. The NBC program featured comic Fred Armisen portraying the commander in chief at a news conference with Chinese President Hu Jintao, played by Will Forte, who spoke through an interpreter, comic Nasim Pedrad. Jintao began by asking Obama about the success of his economic stimulus. "I'm curious. How many jobs has it created?" asked the Chinese leader. "None," answered Obama. "But our health-care reform plan, we're confident,...

Van Jones, you commie, will you please go now! The time has come. The time has come. The time is now. Just go. Go. Go! I don't care how. You can go by foot. You can go by cow. Van Jones, you commie, will you please go now! You can go on skates. You can go on skis. You can go in a hat. But Please go. Please! I don't care. You can go By bike. You can go On a Zike-Bike If you like. If you like You can go In an old blue shoe. Just go, go, GO!...