Posted on 10/23/2014 10:28:47 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
A jilted lover has chopped off his own penis after he was dumped by his girlfriend.
Oliver Ilic, 22, was told that he was no good in bed so it is claimed he mutilated himself then threw the remains in the bin.
He is alleged to have told doctors that he had a small appendage and cited that as the reason why his girlfriend was no use to him.
Ilic contacted emergency services when he could not stop the bleeding and was taken to hospital in the east Macedonian town town of Kocani.
Police searched his house and discovered the severed organ in a bin after it had been cut off with a single swipe from a razor blade which was also lying in the bin.
Doctors were initially unable to re-attach his penis but he was then transferred to the capital, Skopje, where it was reunited with his body following five hours of surgery.
However they said it was still too early to know if the operation would be a success and if it would ever function properly again.
Recently a 40-year-old Macedonian man chopped off his own penis then flushed it down the toilet.
Someone needs to tell Nyarlathotep that the whole trick is knowing when to stop.
Nothing works, but you’re still supporting it. Your computer must be a liberal.
It's a knotty problem.
“Needs more tentacles!”
Nyarly, the tentacles are gone...
Good thing he broke off his engagement.
As the wise mohel said, “Measure twice, cut once.”
Worse, it’s a zombie box that has been horribly reanimated!
Sound works, DVD works.
Hmm.
So basically he has unusually large DVD player.
Network connection works. Pointy thingy works.
Hmm..
Maybe.
Actually, a last name like that is more likely to be Serbian.
I’m sure I would need at four or five hard whacks.
Not quite that drastic. It's an old Compaq laptop that had XP on it. At XP's end o'life I could have attempted to slap a Win7 of some flavour on it (which probably would have worked) or played with some Linux distros. Figuring that the hardware would not produce a viable Win7 experience mostly due to the maxed out at 1 gig ram, I opted for the penguin route because it will run in 512 k..
Got it running Mint 17 now (which is a long term support release) and the limitations seem to be with the integrated video and the Cinnamon desktop, so I have the Mate desktop which is a bit less demanding on video hardware. Some of the stuff that doesn't work is tied to Compaq proprietary laptop specific Win drivers which, if anyone has coded them for Linux, I haven't been able yet to find them...
But EweToob doesn't work. Whether that's a Firefox issue, a Linux issue, a settings issue don't know yet since this was the first time I have tried to view any Ewes on the Toob...
But I'm now done playing for the night.
And so is Stumpy ;-)
Although I think he's done playing for a lot longer.
As the story goes.....
A guy hired a hooker. As he took his pants off and she saw his TLD (tiny little d***) she exclaimed “Who you expect to please with that?” He replied, “ME!!”
Talk about losing you’re head!
It was reported that right before they made love, he looked at the goods and said “wow! that’s a big vagina”. To which she said “why did you say it twice?”
he said “I didn’t”
This tid-bit belongs in the “bin”.
Hilarious.
Maybe Michael Lavaughn Robinson would like to finish his transformation.
Well, now he can become a tranny and get in early on the next group of entitleds.
That’ll teach her!
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