Man chops off his own penis after girlfriend told him he was no good in bed

Metro [UK] ^ | 23 Oct 2014 | Richard Hartley-Parkinson

[Slings and Arrows]

Someone needs to tell Nyarlathotep that the whole trick is knowing when to stop.

[Slings and Arrows]

Nothing works, but you’re still supporting it. Your computer must be a liberal.

[Slings and Arrows]

Notice his ex,Miss Damocles,had no comment.

It's a knotty problem.

[Darksheare]

“Needs more tentacles!”
Nyarly, the tentacles are gone...

[Slings and Arrows]

Good thing he broke off his engagement.

[Slings and Arrows]

As the wise mohel said, “Measure twice, cut once.”

[Darksheare]

Worse, it’s a zombie box that has been horribly reanimated!
Sound works, DVD works.
Hmm.

[Slings and Arrows]

So basically he has unusually large DVD player.

[Darksheare]

Network connection works. Pointy thingy works.
Hmm..
Maybe.

[toothfairy86]

Actually, a last name like that is more likely to be Serbian.

[DH]

I’m sure I would need at four or five hard whacks.

---

Didn’t you read the article: He had a TINY love tool. It only took one slice.

[NoCmpromiz]

unusually large DVD player.

Not quite that drastic. It's an old Compaq laptop that had XP on it. At XP's end o'life I could have attempted to slap a Win7 of some flavour on it (which probably would have worked) or played with some Linux distros. Figuring that the hardware would not produce a viable Win7 experience mostly due to the maxed out at 1 gig ram, I opted for the penguin route because it will run in 512 k..

Got it running Mint 17 now (which is a long term support release) and the limitations seem to be with the integrated video and the Cinnamon desktop, so I have the Mate desktop which is a bit less demanding on video hardware. Some of the stuff that doesn't work is tied to Compaq proprietary laptop specific Win drivers which, if anyone has coded them for Linux, I haven't been able yet to find them...

But EweToob doesn't work. Whether that's a Firefox issue, a Linux issue, a settings issue don't know yet since this was the first time I have tried to view any Ewes on the Toob...

But I'm now done playing for the night.

And so is Stumpy ;-)

Although I think he's done playing for a lot longer.

[fredhead]

As the story goes.....
A guy hired a hooker. As he took his pants off and she saw his TLD (tiny little d***) she exclaimed “Who you expect to please with that?” He replied, “ME!!”

[erod]

Talk about losing you’re head!

[CodeJockey]

It was reported that right before they made love, he looked at the goods and said “wow! that’s a big vagina”. To which she said “why did you say it twice?”

he said “I didn’t”

[Minutemen]

This tid-bit belongs in the “bin”.

[verga]

Hilarious.

[ASA Vet]

Who’d donate?

Maybe Michael Lavaughn Robinson would like to finish his transformation.

[mykroar]

Well, now he can become a tranny and get in early on the next group of entitleds.

[Pearls Before Swine]

That’ll teach her!