Posted on 12/20/2015 6:07:42 AM PST by Kaslin
I, personally, disagree.
The family members I am estranged from do not deserve my time. I can also live without their jibes, insults and lack of honesty.
I’m a conservative and they cannot deal with me.
I wish them all long, happy and prosperous lives. Just keep ‘em away from me.
Merry Christmas.
As goes the family, so goes society.
My youngest son (39 yo) has decided that he wants nothing to do with us. Haven’t heard from him since about last February. We don’t even know where he lives now. He’s made some bad choices in his life. We miss him and our two grandsons.
This advice is well borne out by Charles Dickens’s classic “A Christmas Carol,” wherein Scrooge has estranged himself from his beloved sister’s only son, and comes around following his visitation with the ghosts. It’s a central facet of Scrooge’s reformation. It didn’t get a whole lot of attention in the novel, but in the Alastair Sim movie version they play it up very well indeed, particularly when Scrooge looks into his niece’s eyes and says “Can you forgive a pig-headed old fool for having no eyes to see with, no ears to hear with, all these years.”
Agree.Sharing common ancestors doesn’t mean you are friends, or can even stand each other’s presence.
Some of the biggest family fights happen during the holidays when people that should never set eyes on each other are forced to spend time together. Toss booze into the mix, and you have the ingredients for a real knock down, drag out get together.
Yup. I gave a crew of raging idiots I’m related to. Havent seen or spoken to them in years. Every year was better without them. LIFE was better without them. Blood does not make family. Good people you care about make family.
If thats not true, someone really needs to explain adoption better.
edit Gave UP on
Cut to today and his first child (an older sister to me) is in the bottle by her own choice and I've managed to form a nuclear family with a 12 y/o son that is more important to me than my disfunctional older sibling will ever be.
After having her at my home for Christmas five years ago and watching her drink herself into oblivion in front of several children I've chosen to eliminate that for the good of my sons future.
Nothing is more important than that. Not even a sibling relationship. Estrangement can be a good thing.
I am with you.
We do not get to pick our relatives. Being a realtive does not guarantee a healthy or pleasant relationship.
I would rather spend my time with friends that I have chosen than enduring the jibes, insults and lack of honesty with some of my relatives.
May all my enemies go to Hell,
Noel, noel, noel, noel.
Out parents weren’t perfect, but they were God Fearing, strict, and they were mostly fair. Consequently, despite normal sibling rivalries as children, all of my brothers and sisters grew up to become best friends as adults. Family - it’s the most important thing in life after God.
They have politicized everything from food to bathrooms. Because of their ignorant secular atheist humanist, and yes- fascist philosophy, we cannot escape the “conversations.”
I struggle everyday in my Christian journey to remain kind, humble and forgiving, as I encounter stupidity, arrogance, slothfulness. Family and friends are no exception.
A friend whom I see only occasionally was visiting.
I vote with you. Why try to force a relationship with someone who gouges you at every turn. I am fulfilled by my non-blood-sharing circle of friends who like and respect me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8fPvODASoI&list=RDl8fPvODASoI
The Chieftains: St. Stephen’s Day Murders
Amen. I haven't seen a relative of any kind in years...saves a fortune in travel expenses. :-)
It is terribly sad, especially for little reasons less than murder, grand theft or pedophila.
My grandpa and one of his sisters did not speak for 25 years until he was dying.
Father has a sister and they have not spoken in 20 years or more.
One of my sisters has now cut off my dad - about 30 years and now all siblings. I didn’t even have a fight with her, would have liked to have known the whys.
I always think Sins of the Father.
Also the fifth commandment:
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
“Short of some grievous crime, the parting of the ways really is just a matter of false pride.”
I suppose that would come to defining what a ‘grievous crime’ was. Having a relationship with a relative who is dishonest, selfish, and generally destructive and abusive to everyone including themselves is nigh on impossible. From personal experience I’d say that there are some that you have to set aside in order not to be sucked down into the maelstrom they create.
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