I, personally, disagree.
The family members I am estranged from do not deserve my time. I can also live without their jibes, insults and lack of honesty.
I’m a conservative and they cannot deal with me.
I wish them all long, happy and prosperous lives. Just keep ‘em away from me.
Merry Christmas.
Agree.Sharing common ancestors doesn’t mean you are friends, or can even stand each other’s presence.
Some of the biggest family fights happen during the holidays when people that should never set eyes on each other are forced to spend time together. Toss booze into the mix, and you have the ingredients for a real knock down, drag out get together.
Yup. I gave a crew of raging idiots I’m related to. Havent seen or spoken to them in years. Every year was better without them. LIFE was better without them. Blood does not make family. Good people you care about make family.
If thats not true, someone really needs to explain adoption better.
Cut to today and his first child (an older sister to me) is in the bottle by her own choice and I've managed to form a nuclear family with a 12 y/o son that is more important to me than my disfunctional older sibling will ever be.
After having her at my home for Christmas five years ago and watching her drink herself into oblivion in front of several children I've chosen to eliminate that for the good of my sons future.
Nothing is more important than that. Not even a sibling relationship. Estrangement can be a good thing.
I am with you.
We do not get to pick our relatives. Being a realtive does not guarantee a healthy or pleasant relationship.
I would rather spend my time with friends that I have chosen than enduring the jibes, insults and lack of honesty with some of my relatives.
May all my enemies go to Hell,
Noel, noel, noel, noel.
They have politicized everything from food to bathrooms. Because of their ignorant secular atheist humanist, and yes- fascist philosophy, we cannot escape the “conversations.”
I struggle everyday in my Christian journey to remain kind, humble and forgiving, as I encounter stupidity, arrogance, slothfulness. Family and friends are no exception.
I vote with you. Why try to force a relationship with someone who gouges you at every turn. I am fulfilled by my non-blood-sharing circle of friends who like and respect me.
However, there is always a last straw. Mine was at my parents 50th wedding anniversary party. I and two other brothers had pitched in and were splitting the bill for the party. He refused to help us pay for the party. Instead, he gave the money to my parents and my mother attempted to give it to one of my other brothers, but he refused to take it.
At the time, my family was not rolling in dough. We had two small children in Catholic School, and we were managing; but, we didn't have a lot of spare cash. We found a way to do our fair share; but, this brother refused. My mother defended him to me about this and the argument grew and finally I just blew up. She always defended his actions and bad behavior; but, this was the last straw for me. We became estranged. I ended up being estranged from the entire family. My life has been more peaceful ever since.
Other people never really know what is going on in someone else's house. The interior life of a family may be very different from the one that is presented for public viewing.
That said, there are parts of my family that we are still very close to and we treasure that. But over time, we stopped going to "obligatory" family gatherings that almost aways ended in hard feelings and ruined holidays. It also helped greatly that my company offered me a promotion that involved relocating to another part of the country. Now we have the luxury of being hundreds of miles away and when we do visit the old area, we visit family members that we get along well with (and they also come to visit us).
I don't think it's "sad" at all that we don't associate with certain members of the family. Life is too short to allow others to make one miserable. That's not to say that we have any hatred for them or that we would refuse to take their phone calls or letters. We just happily keep our distance and live our own lives while they live theirs.
A lot of the discontent revolved around class and politics. Much of my family are die-hard Democrats who believe in welfare for all and that the "rich" should be heavily taxed to provide for it. Now that my wife and I are considered "rich", obviously it is us that they speak of and they resent the lifestyle we have been able to provide for ourselves and our children through hard work and responsible behavior.
I still remember Thanksgiving 2000, the year that Al Gore refused to concede Florida and contested the results. What a Thanksgiving blowout that was. I was hosting Thanksgiving dinner (as I always do) and I had to throw a certain relative out of my house because she continued to insult my wife and I for not agreeing with her that Bush stole the election and that Gore should rightfully be president. She threw out some rather hateful remarks that can never be taken back.
Good riddance to her, I haven't spoken to her since. But I hear that she is still on government assistance and miserable as ever, not to mention being over 200 pounds overweight and having to go grocery shopping in a wheelchair due to her obesity. Maybe Michael Moore can help her out.