Cannibal Tribe Apologises For Eating Methodists

The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 8-16-2007 | Nick Squires

[bboop]

You are BAD!! (the other white meat).

[MayflowerMadam]

My uncle (preacher) told me about the cannibal who ate a Pentecostal. ... didn’t taste bad, but he kept throwing up his hands.

[blam]

"To this day in Fiji, “Go eat the boots of Mr. Baker!” is considered a deadly insult, implying backwardness and savagery."

That's neat.

[Thumper1960]

Tastes like chicken.

Salty chicken, with a subtle hint of musk. Very faint vanilla undertones. Best to leave the shoes off, lest the leathers taint the broth.

[Pablo64]

"Cannibal Tribe Apologises For Eating Methodists"

In a further disclosure, they said that though they applogized for eating the Methodists, they had absolutely no remorse about eating the Baptists or the Presbyterians since they were just "down-right tasty".

;-)

[Califreak]

No apologies necessary if they would only eat all the muslim terrorists! I hear they taste like pork.

[Cuttnhorse]

The butcher replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?"

yuk, yuk, yuk.
I just finished reading an interesting book titled, Heart of the Sea, about the whale ship Essex out of Nantucket in 1919. The Essex was the inspiration for Melville when he wrote Moby Dick. The Essex was rammed and sunk by a hugh sperm whale and the crew spent almost 90-days adrift in the Pacific. They resorted to cannibilism to survive...quite a story. In fact, they purposely tried to navigate their whale boats East to Chile because they were terrified of cannibals inhabiting the islands of French Polynesia. Oh the irony.

[tiki]

“Do unto others....”

[MIchaelTArchangel]

Inquiring minds want to know: Did they taste like chicken?

[television is just wrong]

REPARATIONS FOR MISSIONARIES?

[Postman]

Burp! (sorry if this duplicates any earlier post)

[Bender2]

Re: A tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologised for killing and eating four 19th century missionaries under the command of a doughty British clergyman.

It is very good... to find the wogs finally have acquired some manners, eh?

Now... if we could only...

Get Rosie... to go to Papua New Guinea!

Gadzooks! Someone delete this... before Bill O'Reilly quotes it as more FR hate speech!

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks Blam. I feel really bad about laughing when I saw that headline. It would have been racist and even funnier if it had been, "New Guinea Cannibals Apologize for Eathing Old Guinea". BTW, all, human flesh tastes just like pork. Y'know, 'cause I've read that... (burp)

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[SunkenCiv]

[rimshot!]

[SunkenCiv]

You have one canoe holding three missionaries, and another canoe holding three cannibals; the first canoe leaves New Orleans going upstream at 6 mph; the second canoe leaves Cairo Illinois going downstream at 10 mph...

[Domestic Church]

“...they claim now that an evil spirit/being can ‘take-over’ a human body and that ‘it’ is no longer human and okay to kill and eat.”

They must have joined the ACLU.

[pax_et_bonum]

Suspicious Cannibal Diplomacy Ping

[U S Army EOD]

Isn’t that the same tribe that ate the clown and complained the meat tasted funny?

[Graymatter]

“See the Mau Maus
Underneath the jungle sky -—
Jolly Mau Maus,
Eating missionary pie!”

-— Allan Sherman

[humblegunner]

"We at this juncture are deeply touched and wish you the greatest joy of forgiveness as we finally end this record disagreement," said Ratu Isoa Tikoca, the high commissioner.

Asked about what other denominations may have been consumed
over the same period of time, Ratu Isoa replied:

"Mostly Catholics. We get protestants, too, but everyone knows they are to be SAVED."

;-)