Cannibal Tribe Apologises For Eating Methodists

The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 8-16-2007 | Nick Squires

[CholeraJoe]

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle? He walked on a little farther and threw up his arms.

At the cannibal meat market, there was a sign over the counter: Americans $3.00/lb; British $4.00/lb; Arabs $11/lb. A customer asked, "Why are the Arabs so much more expensive?"

The butcher replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?"

Tip your waitress folks, I'll be here all week.

[dk/coro]

“So it would have been OK...”

I am not going there — but, we might try “Democrats” !

For sure, those turkeys would not rate too high as a discriminating epicurean’s favorite !

So there! Got that off my chest...and feeling better by the minute. *S*

[techcor]

What the cannibal told his male offspring.
"One man's meat is another man's poi, son.

[CougarGA7]

I think cannibals would like Democrats.

They come with their own whine.

[SouthTexas]

Too stringy, I’d imagine.

[bamahead]

[drb9]

Isn’t Hillary a Methodist? Those thighs could solve world hunger.

[reagan_fanatic]

Q: What is a cannibal’s favorite game?
A: Swallow the leader.

[TMSuchman]

How about send the entire Sr. demoCrap delagation from congress for a fact finding mission..........

[rfp1234]

[Calvin Locke]

...New Guinea

Yes, well, I recall reading about gold mining in NG in the 1980s. The natives thought people were coming in and literally sucking the gold from their villages.

So, cannibalistic rituals may be harder to overcome.

A then-coworker came back from Fiji. He said the museum there has the remnants of the boots of the last person to be eaten on the island. The consumption was apparently a mistake, since I think he said Queen Victoria decreed that Fijians must no longer eat people.

[Bringbackthedraft]

The Methodists were closest thing the tribe could get to “serving” God?

[rfp1234]

[mgstarr]

I refrain from making a Monica reference.

[elcid1970]

What do you call a cannibal who devours his mother in law?

Gladiator!

Seriously, this is true: Fijian cannibals killed and ate an Anglican missionary, the Rev. Thomas Baker. They had never seen leather boots before, and boiled his for hours in an attempt to tenderize them.

To this day in Fiji, “Go eat the boots of Mr. Baker!” is considered a deadly insult, implying backwardness and savagery.

[AnotherUnixGeek]

A tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologised for killing and eating four 19th century missionaries under the command of a doughty British clergyman.

Makes about as much sense as demanding apologies and reparations from a modern day American for slavery. If you didn't commit the misdeed, you can't apologize and shouldn't try. If you weren't the victim, you don't deserve an apology and shouldn't accept one.

[agrace]

Peace Child & Lords of the Earth by Don Richardson - two great books about mission work among violent, cannibalistic tribes in PNG.

[Larry Lucido]

Let’s see, you have three missionaries and three cannibals, and one canoe that holds two people. Send two cannibals across, send one back with the canoe. Then send two missionaries across, and....oops.

[Larry Lucido]

Let’s see, you have three missionaries and three cannibals, and one canoe that holds two people. Send two cannibals across, send one back with the canoe. Then send two missionaries across, and....oops.

[Chode]

mmmmmm... LongPig.