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Cannibal Tribe Apologises For Eating Methodists
The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 8-16-2007 | Nick Squires

Posted on 08/16/2007 2:12:55 PM PDT by blam

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To: blam

Whaaattt?!? No jokes about ‘fava beans and a nice chianti’?


21 posted on 08/16/2007 2:19:42 PM PDT by mkjessup (Jan 20, 2009 - "We Don't Know. Where Rudy Went. Just Glad He's Not. The President. Burma Shave.")
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To: blam; SunkenCiv

I’ll have the roast Methodist with the mango salsa, asparagus with Hollandaise and a glass of Merlot.


22 posted on 08/16/2007 2:21:07 PM PDT by CholeraJoe ("I shall need the clankers.")
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To: blam
Though not in the story, he later said they preferred Presbyterians.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

23 posted on 08/16/2007 2:23:58 PM PDT by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: blam

they’re just sorry because they found out how bland Methodists are - they could have eaten spicy Greek Orthodox or Southern Fried Baptist...


24 posted on 08/16/2007 2:24:04 PM PDT by chilepepper (The map is not the territory -- Alfred Korzybski)
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To: blam
I've spent some time with the decedents of cannibals in Borneo. They are nice people as long as they don't eat you... Grok?

"During the course of a few early trips I got to know and befriended a stunningly beautiful Dayak girl named Mary who worked at the Hilton Hotel Kuching. Over the course of a few months we got to know each other quite well and she invited me one June back to her grandparents longhouse to celebrate Gawai Dayak. This was my first trip out to the countryside in Sarawak and I was quite excited and yet a bit nervous to meet her family members for the first time. When we arrived, I noticed in the longhouse along the wall up near the ceiling, human skulls. I remember whispering to her later and asking about it and having her tell me "Oh don't worry about that, you are safe here. That was during my grandfather's time, but we are civilized now!". Her grandfather later explained to me that those were the skulls of a few Japanese soldiers that he had killed towards the end of World War II and some other skulls that had been passed down through the generations."

"I would stay up that first night nervously laughing and drinking copious amounts of tuak with her grandfather, father and three brothers and in my drunkenness shamefully wondering to myself if the potent tuak might accidentally trigger some sort of phyletic circuitry in the brains of my hosts where they could suddenly freak out about something and lop my head off. Eventually though I passed out drunk only to woken a few hours later by a rooster's crowing."

continued...

Moral Relativism in the Rainforest of Diversity

25 posted on 08/16/2007 2:24:21 PM PDT by expatguy (New and Improved ! - Support "An American Expat in Southeast Asia")
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To: blam
Oh dear. So this is where the missionaries and cannibals problem in my Discrete Mathematics class came from...
26 posted on 08/16/2007 2:25:01 PM PDT by rabscuttle385 (Sic Semper Tyrannis * U.Va. Engineering '09 * Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Democrat * Fred in 2008)
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To: opus86
A tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologised for killing and eating four 19th century missionaries under the command of a doughty British clergyman

The Pillsbury Dought Boy....:>)

27 posted on 08/16/2007 2:25:22 PM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain And Proud of It! Those who support the troops will pray for them to WIN!)
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To: blam

Baptists are furious, what about an apology for them?

Ecumenical Dietary Caution -

Southern Baptists - Fiery but stringy, tough chewing

Episcopalians - bland

Catholics - Too garlicky and enjoy the pain of boiling too much...

Unitarians - way too sweet

Jews - Don’t taste enough like pork.

Muslims - Too sour to eat.


28 posted on 08/16/2007 2:25:30 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: CholeraJoe

Maybe start off with some appetizers, perhaps some lady fingers. They can dip into a nice liver pate.


29 posted on 08/16/2007 2:25:49 PM PDT by part deux
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To: blam

Their national motto is “People Serving People”.


30 posted on 08/16/2007 2:26:03 PM PDT by rfp1234 (Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Therefore...)
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To: blam
Seems the natives have a new tact, they claim now that an evil
spirit/being can 'take-over' a human body and that 'it' is no longer
human and okay to kill and eat. They're eating the evil/foreign
spirit now, not humans.


Sounds like they've learned from Bill Clinton.
"It all depends on what a human 'is'".
31 posted on 08/16/2007 2:27:50 PM PDT by VOA
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To: blam; All

I’ve been reading headlines too long today- I saw “Cannibal Tribe Apologises For Eating Methods...”


32 posted on 08/16/2007 2:30:02 PM PDT by backhoe (-30-)
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To: xzins

LOL! I spose he’d have to be doughty - or doughy - since he didn’t end up on some Papuan’s dinner plate.


33 posted on 08/16/2007 2:30:53 PM PDT by opus86
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To: blam
Reminds me of the movie The Wrong Box with Peter Sellers and Michael Caine.

"Mother and Father were missionaries."

"They were eaten by their Bible class."

34 posted on 08/16/2007 2:31:11 PM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys: Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat; but they know what's best for us)
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To: rfp1234
"Their national motto is “People Serving People”."

Or, People Who Need People (are the luckiest people in the world)

35 posted on 08/16/2007 2:31:40 PM PDT by blam (Secure the border and enforce the law)
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To: blam

OK. Two cannibals were eating a clown.
One turned to the other and said...
“Does this taste funny to you?”


36 posted on 08/16/2007 2:32:06 PM PDT by Cyclops08
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To: blam
Somehow the old Burt Reynolds movie SKULLDUGGERY (1970)comes to mind. After a native kills and eats a "Tropi" pictured here he is asked, "Are you a cannibal?" His answer.."Me no cannabal! Me METHODIST!"
37 posted on 08/16/2007 2:36:20 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Ever see WILLIS SHAW backwards in your rear view mirror? I have!)
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To: blam

People who are eaten by people are the unluckiest people in the world!


38 posted on 08/16/2007 2:36:28 PM PDT by ari-freedom (I am for traditional moral values, a strong national defense, and free markets.)
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To: blam
Cannibals had boiled and eaten three missionaries. Later, they came down with horrible cramps. The witch doctor asked them what they had eaten.
"Missionaries," they replied.

"How did you prepare them?" he asked.
"Boiled them with some nice taro root," they said.

The witch doctor then asked to see the clothes of the missionaries. When he spied brown tunics with hoods he exclaimed, "Here's the problem! You boiled them, but these were Friars!"

-JoA
Obey the Slack

39 posted on 08/16/2007 2:37:02 PM PDT by January24th
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To: blam

Cannibal: mmmm tastes just like soylent green!


40 posted on 08/16/2007 2:37:23 PM PDT by ari-freedom (I am for traditional moral values, a strong national defense, and free markets.)
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