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NEWS FROM THE YEAR 2059
email from a friend | 4/2/2023 | unknown

Posted on 04/02/2023 6:03:25 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for president in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first-class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year and $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every high school in the United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR, even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Achieved Sexual Harmony. They had simultaneous headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; History; Society
KEYWORDS: likely
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Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want. NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile, or, you might scare them to death.

I Love This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me!

1 posted on 04/02/2023 6:03:25 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

That was pretty good. A bit depressing, but also funny.
I think the correct word here is “tragicomic”.


2 posted on 04/02/2023 6:10:18 AM PDT by Leaning Right (The steal is real.)
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To: Leaning Right

Yeah.


3 posted on 04/02/2023 6:15:41 AM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as.)
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To: sodpoodle

I know how you feel!


4 posted on 04/02/2023 6:15:55 AM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as.)
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To: sodpoodle

I fear that at the rate we are going, these may well become true.


5 posted on 04/02/2023 6:17:22 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TP)
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To: sodpoodle
A Couple Finally Achieved Sexual Harmony. They had simultaneous headaches.

Related; Transman and Transwomyn finally achieve harmonious timing; their periods coincide to the minute. Hoping to become regular thing.

6 posted on 04/02/2023 6:18:19 AM PDT by Bernard (“the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." JFK 1-20-61)
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To: sodpoodle

“Cuban cigars can now be imported legally”

Lol.

To make that realistic you would need to have the US copyright owners suing the Cuban copyright owners and vice versa over the names of dozens of cigars.

That litigation would probably take decades to resolve.

Sometimes the law gets so complicated that illegal transactions are just easier for everybody.


7 posted on 04/02/2023 6:19:00 AM PDT by cgbg (Claiming that laws and regs that limit “hate speech” stop freedom of speech is “hate speech”.)
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To: sodpoodle

America has become the world’s black market..where you can buy anything if the price it right.


8 posted on 04/02/2023 6:27:45 AM PDT by Leep (Hillary will NEVER be president! 😁)
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To: sodpoodle

Mexifornia, Floruba, the People’s Republic of Hawaii and al-Alamanya, formerly Germany, are the newest members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organization.

In Shasta County, in northern Mexifornia, American guerrillas seeking to establish the State of Jefferson ambush a column of Chinese soldiers.


9 posted on 04/02/2023 6:28:36 AM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: sodpoodle
Massachusetts has already executed all but a few dozen conservatives. They'll finish long before 2059.

And in 2059 the President will be Liz Warren the Third.

10 posted on 04/02/2023 6:28:43 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Two Words: BANANA REPUBLIC!)
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To: sodpoodle

Not even funny.


11 posted on 04/02/2023 6:30:30 AM PDT by moovova ("The NEXT election is the most important election of our lifetimes!“ LOL...)
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To: sodpoodle

Today this is humor, in 2059 it will be fact.

Going backwards a similar amount of years to 1987, no one could possibly believe child mutilation would be going on in this country or people born a given sex claiming to be the opposite sex and having high government positions, as well as the laundry list of the other things going on.

Yes, laugh today at that email. If the democrats retain power, it will become a reality. Thank God I will be dead by then.


12 posted on 04/02/2023 6:34:26 AM PDT by redfreedom (You can vote your way into socialism, but you may have to shoot your way out.)
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To: sodpoodle

FReepathons last 365 days.


13 posted on 04/02/2023 6:51:05 AM PDT by Laslo Fripp (Semper Fidelis)
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To: Laslo Fripp
"FReepathons last 365 days."

Well, only a week longer than normal...

14 posted on 04/02/2023 7:05:12 AM PDT by outofsalt (If history teaches us anything, it's that history rarely teaches anything.)
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To: FamiliarFace

“I fear that at the rate we are going, these may well become true.”

The only reason why I’m glad I’m not young any longer. I won’t be around to see the results to the events I’m witnessing now.


15 posted on 04/02/2023 7:24:23 AM PDT by peggybac (My will is what I wanted. God's will is what I got.)
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To: sodpoodle

We finally achieve a flat tax system as hyperinflation puts everyone in the top bracket.


16 posted on 04/02/2023 7:25:54 AM PDT by null and void (Precedent now set. Biden and Obama are fair game now.)
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To: sodpoodle
"...but President Chelsea Clinton..."

Thank God I've gone on to my reward!

17 posted on 04/02/2023 7:33:39 AM PDT by rockrr ( Everything is different now...)
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To: peggybac

I’m coming back in my next life to destroy what the liberals have built. Please join me.


18 posted on 04/02/2023 7:52:04 AM PDT by GingisK
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To: peggybac

Yes, but our children and grandchildren will be hit pretty hard. It’s pretty sad.


19 posted on 04/02/2023 8:28:44 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TP)
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To: sodpoodle

Too close to reality.


20 posted on 04/02/2023 8:51:52 AM PDT by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral cruelty of the Biden regime.)
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