Posted on 11/12/2019 9:46:51 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o
As more and more Americans grow disillusioned with the democratic process, an increasing number of voters are throwing their support behind Aragorn II, Son of Arathorn, King of Gondor.
While the candidates on the ballot all received a fair number of votes, the largest voting bloc simply wrote in "Hail Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor! We owe him our allegiance!" The monarch seems to have won support among American voters through his impeccable personal character, strong military service, and "dope" sword fighting ability.
"Some other candidates have good policies and decent track records, but none of them fought off the forces of Mordor when all hope seemed lost," said one political pundit. "That's not even to mention his strong showing at Helm's Deep. And when he totally destroyed that Uruk Hai dude, he shot up in the polls significantly."
Although it's too early to call, should Aragorn win every race in the midterm elections, political experts believe Aragorn would become the king of America for life. "There's really no way around it. We'd move away from letting the mob pick our ruler every couple of years and instead hail the rightful king. Hail Aragorn! Hail Aragorn!" said one cable news anchor.
The King of Gondor gave a rally speech thanking Americans for their support on Tuesday afternoon. "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will," he said as the crowd bowed to him. "Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, of America, my brothers! A day may come when the nation fails, but it is not this day. An hour of darkness and despair, when the age of the great nation of America comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!"
Aragorn was also able to win over substantial support among the Army of the Dead, typically a strong Democratic voting bloc.
(((Sigh)))
If he ran I’d vote for him in a HEARTBEAT!
Fake News you can believe in! Great coffee mug!
This is the best news I have heard for a while!
Well, at least President Elessar would be a fighter. And it’d be interesting to have an elf woman as a first lady.
Wait until the people realize that the “wealth” the democrats want to tax is in their retirement funds.
Victor von Doomcock for Ruler of Earth!!
I’m for Sauron myself. He’s gonna give me a snazzy ring.
`
“Aragorn was also able to win over substantial support among the Army of the Dead, typically a strong Democratic voting bloc.”
The best line!!
We do. It is.
Yeah..I snorked my coffee through my nose on that line
First of his Name, President of the United States of America, Commander-in-Chief of the United States Military, Defender of the Homeland of the American Way of Life.
As a former resident of Mordor myself, I can vouch for it being where all the Democrats come from too.
Saruman: "The Horsemen took your lands! They drove your people into the hills to scratch a living off rocks!"
Saruman would stir up the same speech and give it to Third World invaders and "immigrants."
Let the Orcs invade!
They have been "oppressed" for far too long. Besides, the people of Shire, Rohan, and Gondor are a bunch of White Nationalist, Racist, Supremacist, Cisgender bigots anyway. Who cares if they are "displaced"?
I’d trade my Shards of Narsil for one of those!
When asked for comment, Gollum made the following statement: "We hates 'em, my Precious...
I’m sure he’s a good dude and all but there’s something creepy about a guy who hangs out with elves........
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