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Keyword: parody

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  • Bloomberg Editorial Board Endorses Mike Bloomberg

    02/20/2020 9:23:06 AM PST · by jonascord · 17 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | February 19th, 2020 | Babylon Bee
    NEW YORK, NY—The Bloomberg News Editorial Board has endorsed Mike Bloomberg for president. While other publications are endorsing multiple candidates or communists, Bloomberg Opinion says they've found the right man for the job: Mike Bloomberg. "He's a really swell guy," wrote the editorial team. "We always have a good time when good ol' Mike is around. His ideas are great, dogs and children love him, and honestly, it's our completely unbiased opinion that he's just the #1 man for the job. Vote Mike Bloomberg!" The team listed some of his greatest accomplishments: A record score of 18 on the golf...
  • The Dem Nominating Process So Far - A Musical Tribute

    02/12/2020 10:48:58 AM PST · by FirstFlaBn · 8 replies
    My Fevered Brow | 12 February 2020
    Here's a musical interpretation of Dem struggles in choosing a nominee to sacrifice to Donald Trump. Democrat Par-tee (to the tune of Memphis Tennessee, sorry, Chuck) Believe me, I struggled with altering the greatest line in Rock 'n Roll history: With hurry home drops on her cheek, that trickled from her eye. I hope Chuck Berry is OK with it. Stand up, Chuck!

    02/09/2020 8:14:26 PM PST · by 11th_VA · 22 replies
    Yahoo News ^ | Feb 8, 2020 | Jack
    JACK (in comment section) The DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION SCHEDULE has been released. See below: 11:15 AM Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention. Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment. 2:30 PM Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants. 4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - Sponsored by CNN 4:15 PM Address on "Being the Real You" Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and Caitlyn Jenner 4:30 PM "How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke" - Hillary Clinton 4:45 PM “How to have a successful career without ever having a job,...
  • Liberal Hacks Compete For 2020’s Top (Or Worst?) Pundit Award

    01/26/2020 10:47:24 AM PST · by Kaslin · 7 replies
    The Federalist, ^ | January 26, 2020 | Jeremy Senderowicz
    The other matchup that jumps out at me is the possibility of Jennifer Rubin matching up with her Washington Post teammate Max Boot with the Final Four on the line.This is a parody. This is not meant to reflect any beliefs or statements of ESPN or the personalities named in this parody, nor any of the actual mannerisms of such people. Scott Van Pelt: So one of the most eagerly awaited moments of the 2020 election year has finally arrived. The selection committee revealed its brackets for the Comfortably Smug #LiberalHack tournament, sponsored as always by the private equity firm...
  • A quick recap of the impeachment trial of Donald Trump

    01/25/2020 6:44:39 PM PST · by ameribbean expat · 9 replies
    From the Mad Liberals YouTube channel. Video at link.
  • Mitch’s ‘Golden Pens on Silver Platters,’ a Tribute in Song

    01/22/2020 8:06:32 AM PST · by FirstFlaBn · 8 replies
    My Fevered Brow | 22 January 2020
    Here’s a musical take on McConnell’s great response last week to Nancy’s lame attempt at stagecraft. Golden Pens on Silver Platters (to the tune of Silver Threads and Golden Needles, sorry, Linda) If you haven’t heard it in a while, CLICK HERE to watch my sweetheart Lovely Lefty Linda knock this one out (first 30 seconds is concert chatter). Link opens in a new tab.
  • Man Who Created His Own Version of Subway Map Has Dispute with MTA

    01/20/2020 12:05:21 AM PST · by nickcarraway · 24 replies
    NY1 ^ | Jan. 18, 2020 | Dan Rivoli
    The MTA's subway map can be intimidating. "It's quite complicated," said Sebastian Gutmann, a tourist. "Because you see so many street names, so many station names, and you have to figure out where you are. It wasn't much help to Jake Berman when he first moved to New York from San Francisco 12 years ago. So he decided to make his own version. Jake Berman's subway map. Courtesy Jake Berman "Frustration is a great source of creativity," Berman said. But when he began selling his creation, the MTA threatened legal action, and got the website Etsy to temporarily take it...
  • As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts

    01/08/2020 11:47:40 PM PST · by Impala64ssa · 19 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 7/8/20
    ATLANTA, GA—According to a report, as part of the settlement with Nick Sandmann, CNN hosts will be required to wear MAGA hats throughout every broadcast. "Let the punishment fit the crime," counsel for Sandmann said as Don Lemon, Chris Cuomo, Anderson Cooper, and Wolf Blitzer all solemnly donned Make America Great Again caps. Hosts were seen with downcast expressions as they commented on the day's events, MAGA hats in place. Sandmann says the hosts will be forced to wear the hats until they've learned their lesson, which could take a while. "Just be careful you don't make an expression some...
  • SATIRE CNN: 'Trump Voter Shoots Mentally Ill Man In Church'

    01/05/2020 6:12:47 PM PST · by metmom · 27 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | January 2nd, 2020
    ATLANTA, GA—Churchgoer Jack Wilson shot and killed a mass shooter at West Freeway Church of Christ, preventing what could have been a much worse shooting. But CNN reported on the event with the headline and caption "Trump voter shot a mentally ill man in a Texas church," causing some to question whether CNN might be a biased source of news. "Once again we see that Trump voters are hopelessly wicked," said one somber anchor as footage came in of a shooting in a Texas church. "There is nothing they won't do to attack the oppressed, mentally ill community. All this...
  • California Robber Agrees To Come Back In 10 Days When Victim's Gun Purchase Has Gone Through

    01/05/2020 8:56:53 AM PST · by BipolarBob · 13 replies
    LOS ANGELES, CA—Robber Rob N. Steele was doing some honest robbing in East LA this morning when he broke into the home of Raymond Garfunkel. Steele made Garfunkel sit on a chair while he tied up the victim's hands, brandishing his firearm threateningly. But things changed when Garfunkel told Steele that he was waiting for his 10-day waiting period on the purchase of a firearm to expire and couldn't defend himself. Garfunkel had heard about a recent string of break-ins and decided to buy the gun, but he had to take a safety test, competency test, pass a background check,...
  • Hillary Clinton Slams Trump For Not Taking A More 'Hands-Off' Approach To Embassy Attack

    01/01/2020 10:43:44 AM PST · by rey · 49 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 1 Jan 2020 | Babylon Bee
    Hillary Clinton Slams Trump For Not Taking A More 'Hands-Off' Approach To Embassy Attack WASHINGTON, D.C—Hillary Clinton has slammed President Trump on Twitter for not taking a more "hands-off" approach to the protests in Iraq that threatened American lives at the embassy there. After Trump quickly sent Marines to defend Americans trapped at the embassy, Clinton immediately blasted him for taking such "rash, uncalled-for" action when he could have just "waited around a while to see what happens." "If I were president, I definitely would have let things play out," she said. "Sending American troops to protect American lives seems...
  • Media Disappointed To Learn Armed Citizen Stopped Mass Shooting

    12/31/2019 8:31:06 AM PST · by gattaca · 19 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | December 30, 2019 | Babylon Bee
    U.S.—The nation's media outlets announced they were grieving today as an armed citizen stopped a mass shooting. "We grieve that this tragedy we could have exploited for weeks on end was stopped by a good guy with a gun," said one teary-eyed MSNBC reporter on the scene. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the shooter." "We are absolutely heartbroken and in shock over here," said one New York Times journalist. "What could have given us weeks and weeks of frothing-at-the-mouth stories about gun control will now have to be suppressed since it does not align with our agenda." News outlets...
  • Parody: Merry Refugeemas! Saint Negligence promises a fake asylum seeker for every supporter of amnesty!

    12/26/2019 12:29:34 PM PST · by pulaskibush · 3 replies ^ | 12/26/19 | Bubbaken Managua
    The Christmas Holiday is well known despite the efforts of Secular legal precedence set forth in the 1960s, but a new holiday is rising that the ACLU types can get behind, RefugeeMass..... MERRY REFUGEEMAS!
  • House Dems Unveil Surefire Plan To Get Trump Reelected...(humor)

    12/19/2019 10:13:12 AM PST · by yoe · 2 replies
    The Babylonbee ^ | December 19, 2019 | Staff
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Democrats today announced a new plan to ensure Trump wins the White House again in 2020. "We hereby unveil these articles of impeachment, which clearly lay out the undeniable fact that we will not win the White House back next year," said Rep. Jerry Nadler. "We have found Trump guilty of absolutely nothing, but we already started this whole process and it would look bad to back out now, so here we are." "I declare here and now that Trump will be in the White House for at least another four years."
  • Planned Parenthood Honors King Herod With Lifetime Achievement Award

    12/12/2019 3:28:01 PM PST · by Morgana · 14 replies ^ | Dec, 12, 2019, |
    NEW YORK, NY—At a special ceremony Thursday, Planned Parenthood posthumously awarded Herod the Great with its highest honor, the organization's coveted PPFA Margaret Sanger Award. Planned Parenthood gives the award out to individuals who advance the pro-abortion agenda, and baby-murdering King Herod was the obvious choice. "Herod fought bravely for women's rights by slaughtering all the male babies under two years old," said a Planned Parenthood spokesperson. "He was thousands of years ahead of his time, realizing the progressive value of destroying our kids the moment they become inconvenient millennia before it was popular. Yes, we do wish he had...
  • I want a new Drudge

    12/12/2019 7:57:32 AM PST · by the_daug · 38 replies
    Peoples cube ^ | 12/10/2019, 1:31 pm | Calmalanie
    I want a new Drudge One that ain't losing clicks One that wont make me gnash my teeth Or cater to ... old peaceniks I want a new Drudge One that wont be misled One that wont be all filled with lies And make my eyes see red ..........
  • Kamala Harris Demoted To Meter Maid After Failed Campaign

    12/03/2019 5:08:21 PM PST · by dynachrome · 9 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 12-3-19 | Babylon Bee
    SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Kamala Harris, the nation’s most famous cop, has been demoted to meter maid in reaction to her failed presidential campaign. As soon as she dropped out of the presidential race, she was called into the office of her police chief. “I’m going to need your gun and badge,” her chief said before handing her the smaller gun and lesser badge of a meter maid. “But how am I supposed to bust the real scumbags out there?” Harris was heard arguing. “Like the mothers who let their kids be truant and people who smoke marijuana? Someone needs to be...
  • New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins

    12/02/2019 2:36:28 PM PST · by BeauBo · 57 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | December 2nd, 2019 | Mark Scheffler
    A fun new "Greta on the Shelf" doll will watch you every day and fly back to the UN each night to report your climate sins to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. The doll is equipped with eye sensors programmed to detect activities that are harmful to the environment. "Greta sees you when you're sleeping, she knows when you drive your SUV to the store instead of taking public transportation," the manufacturer said. "She knows if you've been bad or carbon-neutral, so be carbon-neutral for goodness' sake!" One couple in Portland proudly displayed their new doll and lectured their...
  • New Ejection Seat Will Launch Anyone Who Brings Up Politics On Thanksgiving Into The Stratosphere

    11/30/2019 2:22:50 PM PST · by metmom · 13 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | Nov 27, 2019
    U.S.—We've all been there: you're sitting around on Thanksgiving eating turkey when your crazy uncle starts ranting about the deep state lizard people. It can really make munching on turkey awkward. There's a new solution, though, that promises to make Thanksgiving a lot more peaceful this year: an ejection seat that launches anyone who talks about politics into the stratosphere. Developed by Peaceful Families, LLC, the seat can detect talk about politics and launch the offender miles and miles into the atmosphere. "As soon as you mention words like Congress, Washington, libs, impeachment, 45, Trump, Pelosi, global warming, or Obama,...
  • Half-Human, Half-Robot Justice Enters Supreme Court, Introduces Self As Ruth Bader Gins-Borg

    11/27/2019 9:08:27 AM PST · by xzins · 40 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 12 Feb 19 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Yesterday after the United States Supreme Court opened and justices began filing in, a half-robot, half-human with the face of Ruth Bader Ginsburg entered wielding an arm cannon, body armor, enhanced retinal targeting, and an integrated jetpack. “I AM RUTH BADER GINS-BORG. PLEASE PROCEED,” the cybernetic justice said to her colleagues, then reclined in her provided Windsor chair which was instantly crushed under the weight of her new cybernetic body. Overall, Gins-Borg performed well, never falling asleep or showing any signs of fatigue. “She didn’t even blink,” said Judge Sonya Sotomayor who claims the cyborg justice stared at her...