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What is it like to fire a Daisy BB gun?
The Peoples Cube ^ | 17 Jun, 2016 | Komissar al-Blogunov

Posted on 07/02/2016 1:07:57 PM PDT by MtnClimber

What's it like to fire a Daisy BB gun? It's an experience I'll never forget. Everybody knows BB guns are scary looking and ought to be banned, but I thought I would try to shoot one without any preconceived notions. What I encountered changed me forever.

I took a deep breath and determined to enter a Wal-Mart. A "greeter" met me with, "Howdy, welcome to Wal-Mart." I'm from the north. We don't say "Howdy". I sneer back at the microaggression and strain to hold back tears of rage. Barely controlling myself, I asked where I could find a BB gun. He directed me to "sporting goods," still smiling and gloating over his slyly delivered offense.

I go to the "sporting goods" section, a perfect charnel house where implements of sulfur, death, and destruction are openly and brazenly sold. I notice a BB gun just lying on a shelf. I reach for it as if it was a poisonous snake, wondering if it will go off when I pull it off the shelf. That's right, a shelf. Where anybody could get it.

I go to the counter and the death merchant asks me if I wanted BBs to go with it. He even had the audacity to offer me "Copperhead" brand BBs! How could this inbred hick not know that I see a therapist twice a week to treat my herpephobia?

I buy the gun and the recommended BBs. I'm dizzy going out to the parking lot. A passing stranger, attired in a camouflage assault t-shirt, asks, "Sir, you okay?" "How dare you assume my gender!" I shout back. "Sorry, just checkin'," he said as if my health was any of his business. But the worst was yet to come.

(Excerpt) Read more at thepeoplescube.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: banglist; satire
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1 posted on 07/02/2016 1:07:57 PM PDT by MtnClimber
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To: MtnClimber

***Warning*** Frightening photo of BB Gun at link.


2 posted on 07/02/2016 1:09:13 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: MtnClimber

Virtually every male child outside of "city limits" has. Great Post.
3 posted on 07/02/2016 1:09:39 PM PDT by SunLakesJeff (My name is Frankenstein!)
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To: MtnClimber

Are we talking the old American-made Daisy BB gun or
the current Chinese-made Daisy BB gun?


4 posted on 07/02/2016 1:11:30 PM PDT by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason and rule of law. Prepare!)
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To: TigersEye

The one made by Bushmaster.


5 posted on 07/02/2016 1:12:15 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: MtnClimber

Oh, that one. Yeah, that one scares the dickens out of me.


6 posted on 07/02/2016 1:16:11 PM PDT by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason and rule of law. Prepare!)
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To: MtnClimber

Frightening. And to think that I bought one of these powerful weapons of war for my daughter when she was 9.


7 posted on 07/02/2016 1:17:12 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono
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To: MtnClimber

Thaat is a gateway gun to AR 15’s! You are truly an evil person!!


8 posted on 07/02/2016 1:17:51 PM PDT by right way right (May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our one and only true hope.)
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To: MtnClimber

The whole idea of this article kind of FReaked me out until I saw it was from “The People’s Cube.”


9 posted on 07/02/2016 1:18:11 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! - vote Trump 2016)
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To: MtnClimber
I went to a wooded area to fire the BB gun, a Daisy 509 Buck, probably made by Bushmaster.

I'm pretty sure you meant either an AR-509 or an AK-509.

Taking aim, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and pulled the trigger.

Good thing you closed your eyes or you would have shot out one of them.

10 posted on 07/02/2016 1:19:40 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (An orange jumpsuit is the new black pantsuit.)
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To: MtnClimber

I didn’t think you could buy the copperheads anymore, I thought they all had to be plastic now.


11 posted on 07/02/2016 1:21:38 PM PDT by ichabod1 (Make America Normal Again)
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To: MtnClimber
How could this inbred hick.....

inbred hick...lol, reminds me of someone here from Georgia.

12 posted on 07/02/2016 1:23:21 PM PDT by Mr Apple (...everyone must be at the polls in Nov----- or we'll be outvoted!)
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To: MtnClimber

It’s all good fun until someone puts an eye out.

I shouldn’t laugh. As a kid I was shot in my right eye playing war games. The BB was lodged behind my eyeball for 3 days. It wasn’t a Daisy either it was one of those pump up pellet style guns by Crossman.


13 posted on 07/02/2016 1:25:27 PM PDT by Bullish (Blame others for your failures? Take credits where none are do? Who made you Pharaoh?)
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To: MtnClimber

This simply has to be satire about the limp-wristed journalist who almost wet himself after firing an AR-15. LOL


14 posted on 07/02/2016 1:26:55 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Why does every totalitarian, political hack think that he knows how to run my life better than I?)
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To: Bullish

So how’d you get it out, with a fish hook?


15 posted on 07/02/2016 1:27:53 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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To: MtnClimber


Blnk
16 posted on 07/02/2016 1:28:22 PM PDT by minnesota_bound
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To: MtnClimber

It was a high capacity BB gun as well.


17 posted on 07/02/2016 1:28:38 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder (The only thing the Left has learned from the failures of socialism is not to call it that)
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To: Telepathic Intruder
It was a high capacity BB gun as well

They MUST be banned!

18 posted on 07/02/2016 1:30:18 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: right way right

I’m still looking for that infamous AK-15 Senator Durbin has.


19 posted on 07/02/2016 1:30:57 PM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west))
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To: KarlInOhio

Can you get those in .50 caliber?


20 posted on 07/02/2016 1:33:02 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (Pubbies = national collectivists; Dems = international collectivists; We need a second party!)
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