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Missouri Rancher Discovers Three Mutilated Cows; UFO Group Investigating Alien Theory
riverfronttimes ^ | Wed., Jul. 31 2013 | Jessica Lussenhop

Posted on 07/31/2013 11:21:33 AM PDT by JoeProBono

Lyn Mitchell, a Missouri rancher living about 80 miles from Kansas City, has reported three cow deaths on her property. That wouldn't be unusual were it not for the state the carcasses were found in.

The most recent cow was discovered in the field, her tongue removed, her teats cut off, her heart removed and dangling outside of her body. When the rancher moved her, there was a strange, char-like pattern in the dead grass.

What does all this mean? One theory: alien experimentation.

Mitchell told news station KSHB that she's open to the possibility that these bizarre surgeries were performed by aliens who touched down on her property. Daily RFT would like to posit a slightly more plausible but equally worrisome solution: A total freaking psycho is loose in Henry County and he/she is now the proud owner of cow cadaver anus, udder, tongue and teats and doing who knows what with them.

To that end, we put in a call to the Henry County sheriff's department to find out what they have in terms of human leads -- we'll update if we hear back.


TOPICS: Outdoors; Pets/Animals; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: aliens; extraterrestrials; missouri; realones
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Mitchell says she's found two of her other bovines in similar states. One had her entire udder, anus and tongue removed. In 2011, she says, she found a heifer calf with her tongue, genitalia and jaw muscle removed.


1 posted on 07/31/2013 11:21:33 AM PDT by JoeProBono
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To: JoeProBono

Zimmerman?


2 posted on 07/31/2013 11:24:04 AM PDT by albie (re)
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To: JoeProBono

Yup, those crafty aliens have developed space warps, interstellar travel, etc....all to facilitate them coming to earth to cut up cows.

H*ll, I’ll give ‘em cows and throw in quite a few liberal congresscritters and journalists - and even throw in a president for good measure - for them to do with as they please if only they’ll give me that technology.


3 posted on 07/31/2013 11:27:56 AM PDT by Da Coyote
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To: JoeProBono
What next? Lesbians found to have “homophobic slurs” carved into their skin or painted on their wall? The cows were mutilated by some whackjob who’s off his meds...just as the slurs were the work of the lesbian herself.
4 posted on 07/31/2013 11:29:42 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (If Obama Had A City It Would Look Like Detroit.)
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To: Da Coyote

my guess is satanic ritual


5 posted on 07/31/2013 11:31:05 AM PDT by longfellowsmuse (last of the living nomads)
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To: JoeProBono


6 posted on 07/31/2013 11:31:20 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: albie

Were the cows wearing hoodies????


7 posted on 07/31/2013 11:31:28 AM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: JoeProBono
This guy's sister?

 photo Giorgio-Tsoukalos-300x262.jpg
8 posted on 07/31/2013 11:31:35 AM PDT by ZX12R (Never forget the heroes of Benghazi, who were abandoned to their deaths by Obama)
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To: Da Coyote


9 posted on 07/31/2013 11:32:20 AM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: Da Coyote

Yep. I never got that part about the alleged UFO mutilations. I’m guessing it’s more like a Freddie Kruger version of wheat circles, a fully human but very dark “prank,” or possibly something related to occult rituals.


10 posted on 07/31/2013 11:36:26 AM PDT by Springfield Reformer (Winston Churchill: No Peace Till Victory!)
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To: JoeProBono

just the administration practicing to implement Obamacare?


11 posted on 07/31/2013 11:39:24 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (E)
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To: JoeProBono

You don’t suppose Congress needed more anuses and udder fools do you?


12 posted on 07/31/2013 11:40:58 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: JoeProBono
Lost Civilizations.
Extra-terrestrials.
Myths and Monsters.
Missing Persons.
Magic and Witchcraft.
Unexplained Phenomena.
13 posted on 07/31/2013 11:43:30 AM PDT by YourAdHere (Justice Served.)
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To: YourAdHere

Extra Terrestrials?

No thanks. We got enough already.


14 posted on 07/31/2013 11:47:17 AM PDT by Hardraade (http://junipersec.wordpress.com (Obama: the bearded lady of Muslim Brotherhood))
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To: JoeProBono

Gosh, Joe. Are body parts being harvested to sell elsewhere or used on themselves? I don’t know it to be true but I understand Grays don’t have relations. They think each other pregnant.


15 posted on 07/31/2013 11:48:02 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: JoeProBono

Somehow I doubt aliens have any real need for cow teats.


16 posted on 07/31/2013 11:48:19 AM PDT by Jeff Winston
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To: JoeProBono

LOL!!


17 posted on 07/31/2013 11:48:41 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (K I L L T H E B I L L !!)
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To: null and void

One ping only.


18 posted on 07/31/2013 11:49:02 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg (Army dad. And damned proud.)
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To: Da Coyote
I'd walk a mile for a camel.

But I'd fly a trillion parsecs at sub-warp speed for a Kansas cow!

19 posted on 07/31/2013 11:50:51 AM PDT by TigersEye ("No man left behind" is more than an Army Ranger credo it's the character of America.)
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To: JoeProBono
This happened in the ‘70’s and caused quite a stir for a while. Theories included aliens, devil worshipers, and as usual, the CIA.
20 posted on 07/31/2013 11:51:19 AM PDT by ozzymandus
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To: JoeProBono

When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)


21 posted on 07/31/2013 11:53:00 AM PDT by Mr. K (Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics, and then Democrat Talking Points.)
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To: TigersEye

But I’d fly a trillion parsecs at sub-warp speed for a Kansas cow anus!


22 posted on 07/31/2013 11:54:30 AM PDT by Mr. K (Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics, and then Democrat Talking Points.)
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To: JoeProBono

It sounds to me like there is someone crazier than a s***house rat loose out there-

Maybe they ought to stop worrying about space aliens and set out some camera traps to catch someone who could be a wannabe serial killer...


23 posted on 07/31/2013 11:55:34 AM PDT by Texan5 ("You've got to saddle up your boys, you've got to draw a hard line"...)
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To: Jeff Winston


24 posted on 07/31/2013 11:55:59 AM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: JoeProBono
Joe, in other news, women at Merrill Lynch were ordered to seduce their way to the top.
25 posted on 07/31/2013 11:59:56 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: JoeProBono
What does all this mean?

Three cows are dead.

26 posted on 07/31/2013 12:00:11 PM PDT by Moltke (Sapere aude!)
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To: JoeProBono

It’s time we all stopped looking the other way on this, and stop placing the blame where it doesn’t belong. It’s not some lone nut-job. It’s not aliens. We need to address the issue of Cow-on-Cow violence in this country.


27 posted on 07/31/2013 12:01:45 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: Mr. K
But I’d fly a trillion parsecs at sub-warp speed for a Kansas cow anus!

 photo Jed-Clampett-Smiles.jpg

That's the great thing about cow anus, it's just as good the second day.
28 posted on 07/31/2013 12:02:15 PM PDT by ZX12R (Never forget the heroes of Benghazi, who were abandoned to their deaths by Obama)
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To: Mr. K
When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)

The vet said that there was no blood on the ground, the cuts were precise, and that the heart and chest cavity had little blood in them, which was very unusual and unexplainable. He vet also said that he knew animals did not cause the wounds. He looked for bullet holes or other injuries to the cow but could find none, and he does not know the cause of death.

You would think veterinarians and cattle ranchers would know better wouldn't you?

29 posted on 07/31/2013 12:03:33 PM PDT by TigersEye ("No man left behind" is more than an Army Ranger credo it's the character of America.)
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To: JoeProBono

http://www.cowabduction.com/


30 posted on 07/31/2013 12:03:58 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: JoeProBono

Chickens getting back at the Chick-fil-a cows?


31 posted on 07/31/2013 12:07:02 PM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: JoeProBono; All

In 1985, I found a dog that had been strangely mutilated when I was out riding my 3 wheeler by UTSA. In hindsight, it was similar in appearance to a Rhodesian Ridgeback. It’s body was fully intact (as far as I could tell, visually. I didn’t touch it or get off my ATV- a couple of feet away), but it was as if it had been split from it’s chest (or maybe it’s neck- I don’t know) to between it’s hind legs (it was lying on it’s side with it’s legs outstretched as dogs do. But as if relaxed, not in rigor). There was no blood or other trauma & it had been untouched by coyotes. On that side, at least, it hadn’t decomposed at all or else it was very recent. What was strange was that the “edges” of the opening were like it had healed (animals that color scar kind of blackish & very smooth) or maybe had been cauterized? The poor thing had a snarl frozen on it’s face.
It’s body was well off of the road (both 1604 & Hausman Road) & with it’s back lying up against a barbed wire fence.

I went & got my mom & we then called Wildlife Rescue. I don’t recall if they actually went out to look at it or not.
I sold my 3 wheeler a few months later.

I don’t see how satanists could do something like I saw unless they happened to be persons (& I use this term with profound generosity) who have access to very sophisticated & portable equipment.


32 posted on 07/31/2013 12:07:04 PM PDT by KGeorge (Till we're together again, Gypsy girl. May 28, 1998- June 3, 2013)
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To: no-to-illegals

33 posted on 07/31/2013 12:13:23 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

Zoomerman did it.


34 posted on 07/31/2013 12:17:30 PM PDT by bunkerhill7 (("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-NY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.))
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To: Gay State Conservative
The cows were mutilated by some whackjob who’s off his meds.

That wacko must really get around. These surgically precise cattle mutilations have been reported across the country for decades.

Not a single wacko has ever been caught in the act, either.

35 posted on 07/31/2013 12:19:25 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: TigersEye
Moo!

36 posted on 07/31/2013 12:20:12 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: MrB

Gee ... now I’m part of the problem. Sent some cows on their way.


37 posted on 07/31/2013 12:20:31 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: Resolute Conservative

38 posted on 07/31/2013 12:21:11 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: no-to-illegals

Therapeutic...


39 posted on 07/31/2013 12:22:56 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: ozzymandus

40 posted on 07/31/2013 12:23:12 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Mr. K
When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)

Yes, and they do it with the precision of a surgeon.....

Read up on some of these cases. They're completely unlike normal animal predation.

41 posted on 07/31/2013 12:23:26 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: KGeorge; JoeProBono

Interesting (and sad) story. Thanks for sharing. The “laser cut incision” is a common detail in cattle mutilation stories. I’m not aware of any natural decomp process that produces clean incisions. Cleanly excised or “scooped” eyes, tongues, genitals and anuses are normal decomp (caused by rodent scavenging, to be precise), but sharp, clean incisions are not normal. Not at all.


42 posted on 07/31/2013 12:23:33 PM PDT by jboot (It can happen here because it IS happening here.)
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To: JoeProBono

The good news is aliens have a proclivity toward the not so tasty parts.

We can survive.


43 posted on 07/31/2013 12:34:48 PM PDT by PoloSec ( Believe the Gospel: how that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again)
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To: JoeProBono
Joe, took me a while, but have figured this out. Kathleen Sebelius is on the loose. These are obamacare health care provisions for cows. If Kathleen is doing this to cows wait till she gets to us.
44 posted on 07/31/2013 12:34:49 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: longfellowsmuse

satanic ritual

**
My thought, as well.


45 posted on 07/31/2013 12:41:33 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Let me hear what God the LORD will speak. -Ps85)
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To: Mr. K

Just go to Mac Donalds for a big mac. 14 years ago, north Korea used to be the largest importer of beef bung, until Mac Donalds entered the market.

mmmm mmmm mmm

All beef burger! A big what?

It redefines a Mac attack!


46 posted on 07/31/2013 1:13:38 PM PDT by himno hero (hadnuff)
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To: Da Coyote

Like Paul said....

Why does everyone think we are here to probe them? Are we here to harvest farts or what?


47 posted on 07/31/2013 1:15:19 PM PDT by himno hero (hadnuff)
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To: PoloSec

48 posted on 07/31/2013 1:18:14 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: BenLurkin

WOOF! WOOF!


49 posted on 07/31/2013 1:56:27 PM PDT by ontap (***)
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To: ontap; 101stAirborneVet; ALASKA; Alberta's Child; AlexW; Amberdawn; Andy from Chapel Hill; ...
Using the TWA-800 ping list because nothing else quite fits...


50 posted on 07/31/2013 5:09:39 PM PDT by null and void (You don't know what "cutting edge" means till you insult Mohammed.)
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