You already have faith but that doesn’t fix all human sickness, you just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, until, in time, this will pass.
Where there is life, there is hope.
Exercise helps depression.
Try Depression Anonymous.
Also Celebrate Recovery.
A book called Feeling Good by David Burns is a good place to start. Depressed people have a distorted perception of reality. The book goes into ways a person can cure that on their own.
do not take chances ...talk to people (one on one) about your thoughts and feelings. (counselors therapists pastors etc.) Be honest with yourself and others
I won't say therapists are the total answer because I've witnessed some pretty crazy therapists out there who tell you to go to your "happy place"! If you had one, I guess you'd have figured that out already on your own. There are good therapists too, but could take time to find the right one.
I'd suggest you talk to a family doctor & maybe get on something for depression & see if that helps. Is this something that has gone on a long time, or just recent? Sometimes when you get overloaded with things, you just shut down or if you've recently gone thru a life trauma.
While I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on these things - I am just a Christian trying to get by too. But here are a few suggestions.
Realize that the Christian life is not an easy one and we are very often torn between the world of man and the kingdom of God between the flesh and the body of Christ.
Realize that maybe listening to Stone Temple Pilots is not what you need to be doing atm. Now I still listen to some of fav bands Pink Floyd, Deep Purple etc. if I found that encouraging incorrect feelings/thoughts I hope I would drop them like a hot potato. It’s like being double minded - not a good state for you.
Keep praying and don’t give up - my wife’s name is Julie- if you are half the wonderful woman she is then try valuing what God has done in you and don’t look at your lack.
Don’t let the thoughts of heroine get hold of your mind. Push those thoughts away as soon as they pop up.
Your prayers are a fierce weapon and it sounds like you know how to use them.
God bless you. Stay strong.
Have you consulted a doctor ?
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil 4:8
How long have you felt this way? If it’s something you can’t shake it might be time to see a doctor who can prescribe meds.
I have mixed-state bipolar disorder so I know how hard it can be.
BTW: stay the hell away from heroin. Please,for your sake.
It’s a VERY bad idea and will only make you feel worse. I have never used it but I know how bad it is.
Don’t let the errand turn into an excuse. Get your papers taken care of and flee temptation, as it recommended in the Bible. Hang tight to your faith, you have it for a reason and have been feeding it by going to church and by talking to our Heavenly Father. God wants you to lean on Him at all times and especially when your spirit is exhausted. Depression can indicate feelings of guilt; if you feel some sort of regret, talk to Him about it. He’s waiting to hear from you.
BTW, I have failed many times when fleeing temptation, but have also had some successes. Succeeding is such a relief once you get past that moment of decision. I’m praying for you, Julie. By His stripes, you are healed, both spiritually and physically.
Obtain a good supply of D3. Take with breakfast 20,000 units each day for three days, then decrease dosage to 10,000 units each morning until you can get plenty of sunshine. To maintain a good blood level take at least 5,000 units per day once you’re back in equilibrium.
I don't know how old you are, and wouldn't dare ask anyway, but if you are near menopause, this depression could be hormonal. There are also other physical reasons for depression so you should make an appointment to see your doctor and have some tests done to make sure your hormone levels are in balance. Thyroid deficiencies are another cause so get your TSH blood work done, as well. There are many medications that can help you feel better, but PLEASE do not even think about illegal drugs like heroin. They will only cause more problems than you will be able to deal with. DO NOT give in to that temptation!
I hope you can get to visit your family in Chicago, sometimes we get lonely for our peeps and it lifts our spirits to be with them again even if for only a short time. Whatever is going on in your personal life - job, marriage/singlehood, friends, etc. it's good to remember that even the most terrible things will pass.
Having the Lord in your life gives you an edge that unbelievers sorely lack. Just rest in God's love for you and trust that he will lead you into what is best for you. Give him your doubts, your questions, your fears and your hopes and he WILL guide you into where he wants you. I have experienced the same emotions as you - I think all of us do at some point - but God has never let me down. He is our comforter, our rock, our fortress and our deliverer and redeemer. He loves us better than anyone else possibly could. Rejoice in your salvation and instead of looking at all the things you don't have that you think will make you happy, look at all the things you DO have and rejoice in the blessings he has given you. Learn to live like the Apostle Paul when he said:
..for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)
I think it’s not so unusual in older people, which I assume you are, that don’t have responsibilities such as children that rely on them and therefore sometimes find it tough to find reasons to keep on going.
I don’t believe in trying to chase away ‘bad’ thoughts but also we should not wallow in them. They come by themselves, and will leave the same way. If prayer helps that, then great - if not, it doesn’t matter. Just wait them out.
The Creator gave you life. It’s not yours to take. That’ll happen when it is right to happen. It’s pretty simple, really. Either we trust the Creator or we don’t.
You’ll be alright. It’s funny how time really does heal wounds. I struggle with depression myself, I had it since I was 10-years-old and I also had to endure getting a divorce, losing a few jobs and dealing with even more embarrassing scenarios. Here’s what I do to deal with it, but I can’t promise it will work for you. Although, I’m not a Rev. Jesse Jackson supporter, I live by the motto: “keep hope alive.” I got to church every Sunday and keep reminding myself that if today isn’t good then wait til tomorrow. Hey, when I was younger I used to listen to Stone Temple Pilots too. But they don’t play their music on Beijing radio stations here. Anyway, life will get better. Last November, I get a letter saying I was black-listed from the Chinese State-owned media. Despite being a Republican, the letter still bummed me out, since I wanted to initiate media reforms in Beijing, and I was at that time employed by the Chinese media. So 2 years of hard work went down the drain. But you know what? I found a better job and I’m still in China. But I had to be patient and wait for a better tomorrow. So, “keep hope alive.”
I find that John Milton words ring true... (mind over matter)........
“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
The mind is incredibly powerful.
I only experienced deep depression once when I thought I would never see my son again and I did contemplate death for a split second, but it was only fleeting. So I can't empathize completely. I will not minimize your difficulties or the seriousness of your feelings. However, life is truly amazing and I would encourage you to embrace it.