[Perdogg]

I regret to inform the public that a senior member of Ministry of Defence, Commander James Bond, CMG RNVR, has been killed by producers Michael G Wilson and his step sister Barbara Broccoli. Broccoli wishes to add “I shall not waste my time trying to come up with an original Bond movie, but instead copy every movie from the Bourne series, Mission Impossible, the Transporter series, Blade Runner, Batman, and even Tom Clancy’s Patriot Games.”

When the Bond series was revived for the movie “Casino Royale” the produces claimed its goal was to get back the original Ian Fleming novels. Sam Mendes claimed he read the Bond novels in preparation for the 23rd James Bond movie, at the time, unnamed. However there is little evidence of this scholarship.

Instead, Skyfall is little more than graphic novel with exotic sets and little substance. In fact, Hollywood has given up trying to be original; it appeared that every movie presented in the pre-film trailer was a graphic-novel/comic book.

The pretitle sequence shows Bond and a field named Eve in Turkey trying to retrieve a stolen hard drive containing the names of operatives and agents. In the beginning of pre-title sequence, there is a wounded agent, we are never told why two 00 agents are sent, who Bond tries to treat on the spot but is told to ignore him to go after the hard drive by his cold boss. Then a hackneyed car chase follows through the streets of Turkey that ends up on train where Bond is shot accidently by Eve using a variant M4 from about 400m away.

Bond is presumed dead, we even get a piece of the token Fleming reference as we see M write his obituary. Fanboys on Bond sites and Wikipedia to this day cannot explain to me how Bond could work for MI6 and the Ministry of Defence at the same time. Presumed to be dead, Bond hides out in the Mediterranean spending his days having sex with some unknown island woman and nights playing drinking games that involves scorpions (not the 80s rock band), and apparently mornings at bar spending Euros before they go out of style watching Wolf Blitzer. If I were presumed dead on a Mediterranean Island with a very attractive woman, I do not think I would waste my time watching TV, let alone CNN international.

Bond returns to the batcave, er, London after our villain blows up MI6 headquarters. After he is put through an exhausted physical and mental psychological evaluation, he is returned to active duty. I really thought the producers missed an opportunity to really inject an element from the Fleming novels. There are several incidents, many humorous, from the novels Dr. No, You Only Live Twice, and The Man with the Golden Gun, where M consults with Sir James Molony regarding Bond’s health. But who cares about dead white guys anyway?

Meanwhile, it turns out that the guy who tried to kill Bond in Turkey is supposed to be in Shanghai and our cape crusader, er, Bond gets his equipment from the Q branch, a Harry Potter/Rachel Maddow double, and heads off the Blade Runner world of Shanghai. After our bad guy kills a man with what appears to be an unusual caseless weapon, Bond meets Bond babe #2, a bizarre woman who wears too much dark makeup named Severine. She apparently is the key to whereabouts of the Joker, er, the Villain. She apparently went to the same acting school with Craig where actors are taught to mumble their line. Although very beautiful, her screen presence offers little to the movie.

Bond finally meets our Villain on deserted Island presumably in the South China Sea, and the requisite soliloquies are given, not really knowing the reasons motives at time. Unlike the Bond movie of yore, Bond does not give the sardonic banter exhibited in the novels or the early films. It turns out that our Villain is not only the Joker, but a cross between X-men’s Magneto and Hannibal Lector. Raul Silva, played by Javier Bardem, was an operative who worked for Station H under M. Apparently, he was caught by the Chinese and tortured and now he wants M to “think on her sins”. After many plot turns and twist, including battles in central London, we end up in the beautiful hills of Scotland, in stark contrast to illuminated dystopian night of Shanghai, at Bond’s boyhood home “Skyfall” for the final battle reminiscent of the final scenes in Patriot Games, that seems to never end and when it does it leaves Bond in tears. Apparently, Bond’s boyhood was traumatic, but like many things in this movie, we are not really given any reason other than he was orphaned. At the end of the movie, Craig-Bond is wearing a beautiful $2000 Billy Reid tweed overcoat, standing on the roof of MI6 with St Paul and the Union Jack in background, and apparently waiting for Commissioner Gordon to give Bond the “007 signal” stenciled into a search light.

One of things that the movie fails to do is really explain how Raul manages to escape from Chinese detention and amass everything from an army of henchmen who carry exotic weapons, server farms, and attack helicopters. Also, the method in which Silva is deformed is questionable. I cannot say I am expert on this subject; it just did not seem to be plausible to me.

I thought the movie would have been better if all references to Bond had been stripped. Again, the only thing related to the Bond series is the name of the characters. The movie on its own, is okay, but is nothing that Cubby or Ian Fleming would recognize. I am still not sold on Craig. He has aged about 20 years in the past six years since the Craig-Bond series has begun and Craig has this unusual walk, where he doesn’t appeared to be standing fully upright and head seems to bobble. Having Bond constantly walking around, mumbling into a headset microphone is really awkward and inexplicable. Another problem for this film, Bond is almost relegated to a secondary character; it was easy to forget that this was a Bond movie. The humor in this movie is mistimed and falls flat.

I thought the title sequence was interesting. However, I am sorry to report that after staying in the movie theatre to nearly 1:45 in the morning to review all of the credits there was no tribute to the late John Barry whose music has been so much a part of the 50 years of Bond; this is inexcusable. But then again, maybe the best tribute would be not associated with the movie at all.

[Perdogg]

ping

[dagoofyfoot]

Saw the movie last night, and I agree there was something about it, (including) the villain that made me feel like I was watching a Batman movie.

I did think that Javier Bardem was probably the best actor in that movie, as he was truly creepy.


All in all I enjoyed it up to where Bond and M head to Skyfall. After that...Let's just say I wasn't too crazy about the ending.

[vladimir998]

I too have not been all that impressed with the new Bond films. They have good action sequences, but seem pointless, aimless, common and even dull. I realize I am in a minority with this view.

[cripplecreek]

I watched the most recent Resident Evil movies last night and was amazed at the blatant rip off of the Matrix flicks right down to the agent.

[Joe Brower]

O.B.I.T.?

[Lx]

I love this:

I thought the movie would have been better if all references to Bond had been stripped. Again, the only thing related to the Bond series is the name of the characters. The movie on its own, is okay, but is nothing that Cubby or Ian Fleming would recognize. I am still not sold on Craig. He has aged about 20 years in the past six years since the Craig-Bond series has begun and Craig has this unusual walk, where he doesn’t appeared to be standing fully upright and head seems to bobble. Having Bond constantly walking around, mumbling into a headset microphone is really awkward and inexplicable. Another problem for this film, Bond is almost relegated to a secondary character; it was easy to forget that this was a Bond movie. The humor in this movie is mistimed and falls flat.

I was watching Sylvia which was done in 2003, I mentioned to my wife that the Ted Hughes character was played by Craig. She didn't believe me until she went to IMDB. He looked really young in Sylvia but way old in the Bond movies as well as in The Road to Perdition.

People shouldn't age that quickly unless they're burning out on coke or something and Craig is several years younger than me.

Either they're using the miracles of makeup to make him older or to make him younger as in Sylvia. Craig having black hair might help with this as well.

Sounds like I'll wait for this to come out on DTV.

[Prospero]

Thanks for not presenting spoilers. So, the "Obit" writer can't suspend his disbelief, etc. We are talking about Ian Fleming's "James Bond," right?

I've found something to howl over, laugh about, and even a bit of dazzle and eye candy to drool over in even the worst, plodding Bond films. All of them. Bond is not health food. It's cotton candy, bad for the teeth. I think that was the point Michael Myers made with the Austin Powers movies.

So, if I were an officially dead British "Double Naught," I might not be playing with some island woman and spending Euros like they were going out of style. I STILL wouldn't mind trading places with the Bond fantasy for a few well chosen minutes, the more languid ones, between death struggles.

[MinuteGal]

Politics, spying, treason, sex, CIA, NSA, FBI, MSCNBC, Mata Haris, degenerate Generals, tell-all emails, fatal attractions, adultery, Peyton Place Air Force bases, threats, blackmail, extortion, falls-from-power, infighting, cuckolded wives, mysterious President, ladder-climbing socialites, perjury, big-brass cocktail parties, lying, clawing catfights, mansions, bankruptcies, jealousy, dangerous liasons, state secrets, Siamese-necked twins......Free Republic.com has it all.

Who needs James Bond adventure/sexy/exotic movies any more?

Leni

[E. Pluribus Unum]

All action movies and TV series are Bourne Lite these days.

[Wingy]

As usual Perdogg, your posts are well thought out and most of all, make quite a bit of sense. My wife and I saw Skyfall this week, and we generally enjoyed it. The plot had holes big enough to drive a large truck through, and I hated that the pre-title chase scene is unsuccessful. I preferred a winning opening sequence. I days of yore, Bond would have a jetpack to beat the traffic and be waiting for the bad guy long before he caught the train.

That aside, I have to say that Craig is a better Bond then his immediate predecessors. The new Q is as you described, but he had his moments. The new M is more of a question mark. I didn't mind the ending as I knew that suspended disbelief is necessary baggage with a Bond film of late.

Not 5 stars by any stretch, but a light 4 is not out of the question.

[vetvetdoug]

I liked “Skyfall”. I didn't expect much and I was entertained. End of critique.

[Usagi_yo]

Yea it’s certainly not your Bond of the 60’s 70’s, but I didn’t dislike it.

Daniel Craig as Bond plays a raw character. I thought his loyalty to M (Judy Dench) was a bit overplayed since the Bond reboot and in particular the last two Bond movies.

I did like how it backfilled some trivial things, like Miss Money Penny and ‘shaken’ martini.

I liked the portrayal of the Villain. He had background and a resolution about him. AS wacked out as Christopher Walken.

I don’t see why the music is such a hit though, no bond theme song is as memorable to me as Paul McCartney’s and ‘Live and Let Die’.

I ranks #2 as my favorite Bonds. Sean Connery #1 of course, followed closely by a tie for Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan for 3rd, then Dalton and in very last place George Lazenby.

Bond women? Loved them all except for Grace Jones.

[Blackirish]

I thought this version was the closest yet to Ian Flemings Bond. In the books he wasn’t a camped up super stud like Shaun Connery. He was a hard drinking,2 pack a day amphetamine abusing killer. In one of the stories he had to be dried out before being sent out. That was all candy coated until it was touched on in Skyfall. I think Daniel. Craig’s portrayal of Bond is by far the most loyal to Ian Flemings intent. Skyfall is the best Bond movie ever.

[DManA]

The only thing less original than a Bond movie is a criticism of a Bond movie.

[bert]

Perhaps you missed the point. Perhaps the current Bond accurately portrays an agent of a cliched agency with best days decades ago.

[allmendream]

No spoilers? Do you know what a spoiler is? Telling us that Bond gets shot and is presumed dead is a spoiler.

[Future Snake Eater]

It was a great movie, and Craig is the best of the Bonds. This rant is simply prejudicial b/c it’s not “Goldfinger” or some other Bond movie that doesn’t have Connery or the execrable Moore.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

It still had to be better the the Bourne Legacy.

For the love of all that is holy, if you want to write your own script then do so. Do not use the title of a major book series and then toss out the plot.

[hattend]

I just watched it last night (Russian internet copy)

There were many places in the movie where I wondered why Bond did this or that and how did the antagonist do this or that.

It was like watching a Borne movie or maybe “Shooter”.

I thought in a few scenes Daniel Craig/Bond looked like Peter Townshend of the Who.

[SilvieWaldorfMD]

I enjoyed reading your obit. Very interesting.

I saw “Skyfall” this morning. Overall, I thought it was good.

The scene atop the train in Turkey did not convince me one bit. The laws of gravity would say that neither man would be able to be standing on top of it at the speed that it was going — let alone engaged in a fist-fight — and how fortunate of James that he was shot as the train was passing a river below! He fell in the river and not in gravel , which was helpful in keeping him alive.

I love Bardem — but the peroxide job on his hair and eyebrows was terrible.

I was not impressed with the Bond girls this time around — where is the next Barbara Carrera or Ursula Andress?

I enjoyed the dry humor of the young Quartermaster kid — he reminded me of one of the guys from the boy group One Direction.

Overall, I liked it. I love Craig.