Posted on 10/13/2005 7:46:27 AM PDT by StJulian Perlmutter
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Um...well in college I actually did a couple of those things...
What are you talking about?
Howdy partner, let's go round em up.
Hi. I read the jokes -- file under jokes for liberal morons. Thanks for sharing.
Actually, most of these will just make life miserable for employees that already have enough on their plates. Your post gets the "stinko award" of the day.
Cowboys eating pudding thread?
Yell really loud: "Honey, that Vagisil ain't worth crap. It still smells."
I like to buy things like condoms, duct tape, and Gatoraide.
Don't forget the KY...
In other words, to you, it's really funny to unload on the Walmart employees, who are obviously way beneath your stature. You folks are sick puppydawgs. I have a sense of humor, but there's nothing funny about mistreating people who are just trying to make a living--and probably working very hard at it, too. With attitudes like yours, I can only wonder when we're going to be using the term "going Walmart" instead of "going postal."
Do you go home and yell, "Honey get out the duct tape, we're playing McGuyver tonight."? I know I do!
I don't think the original poster actually intends to do any of these things.
I am not ashamed to say that I laughed out loud throughout your post. Laughing is good for the soul. Some folks take things like humor a bit too series-ly. I'm series! LOL! :)
Buddha thought they were funny. In fact, he's going to Walmart now to try #11.
If you really want to get into a pissing contest I will make the statement that your praetorian pronouncements are better listed at DU than at FR,
But, I am far to polite to say such a thing.
Get a life!
It's a joke akin to Candid Camera. Did you ever watch Candid Camera?
I prefer a couple rolls of Glad-wrap and the wife and I play "Man from GLAD"....(old tv joke)...
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