Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 04-22-13 (DUmmies were hoping for a RW Boston Teabomber!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 22, 2013 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 04/22/2013 10:36:11 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Let's see. . . . April 15, Tax Day. . . . Boston, site of the original Tea Party. . . . Boston, America's most liberal city. . . . "Patriots' Day," a term that the wingnuts would love to use. . . . So who are the obvious perpetrators of the Boston Marathon bombing? Why, right-wing white Christian conservatives, of course! Teabaggers! TeaBOMBERS!

That was the immediate and quite predictable reaction of the DUmmies in the wake of last week's bombing. Never mind the fact that 99% of all terrorist attacks in the world over the past 40+ years have been perpetrated by people who have one thing in common--and it ain't Christianity. No, we can't say that. So we'll ignore reality and hope against hope that it was some old white guy--maybe one of those dangerous Missouri Synod Lutherans--that did the deed.

To prove the point, today we'll look at a few of the DUmmieland threads that were posted in the aftermath of the bombing, before the actual perps were identified, namely, this THREAD by William Rivers Pitt, which the foul-mouthed Pitt entitles "J**** F***ing C*****"; another THREAD by the Bostonian Drunkard, "My City," in which Will makes it all about about Will; and this THREAD by some other DUmmie, "If This Doesn't Scream 'Teabagger Group,' I Don't Know What Does."

So let us now go back a week and watch the DUmmies jump to their preconceived conclusions, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, back after a seven-week stretch of being too busy to DUFU, is in the [brackets]:

J**** F***ing C*****

[Will, if you were using our Lord's name rightly, as a prayer uttered in distress at the shocking news, that would be one thing. But you've got to turn it into a profanity, which is par for the course for you.]

Bombs at the marathon. . . . It happened right by the bandstands, hard to believe this was an oxygen tank or gas line or manhole explosion, but who knows.

[Oh, I think we all know, instantly, what happened and who did it. But I predict you DUmmies will not be able to SAY what everybody knows.]

Awful.

[On that, Will, I think we all can agree. But now let's see you guys jump to your predictable prog conclusions . . .]

Sounds like rightwing nut group.

[Of course. Who else COULD it be?]

this smells like a domestic operation by a nut or two operating on their own, probably right wing.

["Probably"?? Certainly!!]

Tax Day. Boston. Gun Legislation in Congress.

[Put out an APB for an orange-faced man from Ohio.]

my initial guess is anti-government, pro-gun, right wing cranks.

[And MY initial guess was that that would be YOUR initial guess.]

a Timothy McVeigh type. . . .

[PUH-LEEZE let it be a white guy with an Anglo-sounding name!!]

CNN just said it is "Patriots Day" too, kind of speculating the same way we were.

[CNN, engaging in wild speculation with a left-wing bias?? NO!!]

I think the fact that it happened in Boston, on Tax Day, at a section of the Marathon apparently dedicated to the families of the victims of the Newtown Shooting, at a time when congress is at least pretending to debate gun legislation.... paints a pretty clear picture of what forces might be at play, here.

[It's GOT to be anti-tax gun nuts! Case closed!]

I'm willing to bet, based upon the admittedly limited information available, that it was domestic right wing anti-government gun nuts.

[See, what did I tell you?]

On some other sites people are already accusing Islamic terrorists.

[You're kidding! How absurd is that? Isn't Islam "the Religion of Peace"?]

4 days before anniversary of Waco & Murrah Fed Building in OKC. My bet is anti-government gun nuts.

[On the DUmmieland tote board, "Right-Wing Gun Nut" is the prohibitive favorite.]

I'll bet you it's right-wingers. Tax Day, in Boston? The only question now is whether we're talking about religious theocrats, white-supremacists or anti-government/anti-taxers.

[Undoubtedly a combination thereof. "White Christian Teabagger," "Right-Wing Gun Nut," same difference.]

WTF? Islamists? Teabaggers?

[Clearly, Teabaggers. Islam is the Religion of Peace®.]

Someone's ass is gonna fry for this. I just hope it's the right ass.

[Which would be a right-wing ass.]

[Now William Rivers Pitt, aka the Bostonian Drunkard, starts another thread . . .]

My city.

[Note, not "Our City." "My City." Leave it to Will to make it all about Will.]

I have a two-week-old baby laying in the arms of my wife here at home.

[Yes, William Rivers Pitt is now a FATHER! More on that later. Please continue, Will, to make this major news event all about you.]

I live three miles away from where this happened. I am staying put...but I want to go down there WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

[Just like you wanted to go down to the Occupy event all those months. But someone strapped you to your Barcalounger and you couldn't go.]

This is my city.

[No one else's. It's all about me.]

I want to go there to help, to find friends, to defy whoever did this, because f*** this sh*t, that's why. F*** this sh*t.

[Will uses profanity to make himself sound like a tough guy. He WOULD go down there and help the police and apprehend--and probably beat up--those right-wing teabagger bombers, but he just can't.]

But I'm staying put. G*d d*mn it to Hell, I'm staying put.

[Theyll just have to carry on without me.]

My daughter now lives in a world where her home town was bombed on Marathon Day. . . .

[A world in which William Rivers Pitt is her father. Yikes.]

Stay safe Pitt.

[Don't worry. William Rivers Pitt is Boston Strong.]

I was born about three Kilometers from the scene of interest. . . .

[Leave it to a DUmmie to say "Kilometers". . . .]

I may be 2800 miles away but it's a "home" place for me. . . .

[How many kilometers would that be?]

I'm proud of you Will. You are now in the group that have dependents. You hurt for your city and your friends but you also know your new, perfect, daughter now impacts your actions. A daughter needs her dad period end of story. You feel a new different pain that is agonizing and tormenting and that is a revelation that pulls you ever deeper into life and it's meaning. Hang in there bud, keep your family safe, go out of town and stay at a relatives and give yourself some respite. This is just the beginning, you might yourself making even more different choices as the new life you have plays out. Your going to do just fine.

[DUmmie Phlem agrees with Will: It's all about Will. Look, William WANTS to go down there and help WITH EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING. This is HIS CITY, dammit! But he just can't.]

self serving blather. When so many people are doing things to help, why are you even bothering to post this? It's not your city, it's our city.

[William Rivers Pitt is the Shakespeare of self-serving blather. Self-serving blather is his métier.]

[Well, let's get back to finding out who the bombers are . . .]

If This Doesn't Scream "Teabagger Group," I Don't Know What Does

[After all, those Tea Party people have killed so many already.]

1. It was done on April 15th. Tax Day. Who hates taxes more than anyone?
2. It was done in Boston, where the original Boston TEA PARTY occurred.

[3. I WANT it to be them, so it must be.]

I'd be willing to bet you a shiny new dime that this is some far-right-wing, White (likely White Supremacist), Teabagger Militia group.

[Bet One D*mn Dime Day!]

I know that all the right-wingers in this country are just PRAYING that it's some Muslim terrorist group. . . .

[How about all the REALISTS in this country just REASONABLY SUSPECTING that it's Muslim terrorists, based on the history of these things? No, that can't be!]

so they can blame Obama for being soft on terrorism. . . .

[What if one of the bombers turns out to be a pot-smoking Obama supporter (which he is)? Would you make him an honorary DUmmie?]

the fact of the matter is that this whole situation just SCREAMS American far-right extremists.

[Or not.]

Apparently we're supposed to wait an unspecified period of time before stating the obvious.

[After 24 business hours, we can state that you're obviously wrong.]

Date, time, place all scream right-wing domestic terrorism.

[You scream, I scream, we all scream . . . WE HOPE IT'S NOT ISLAM!!]

Maybe. But it sounds a lot like the bombings in London & Europe...in subways, on buses, in cafes. IEDs.

[Shhh!!! Quiet!!]

On second thought, what you say does make sense.

[Whew, you had me worried there for a minute! You were bordering on a Brief Moment of Mental Clarity!]

jihadists.

[NO! STOP!!]

its common knowledge these tea party extremists HATE Massachusettes. . . .

[Therefore . . . therefore . . . THEY'RE THE BOMBERS!]

The Boston Marathon....on tax day....on Patriot Day....in Massachusetts....which has a BLACK governor who is best friends with Obama. . . .

[That's it! It's those d*mn racists! They HATE that we have a black man in the White House! Clear motive!]

Any psycho can make IED's these days, and plenty of people have experience with them and their application after our lengthy Iraq fiasco.

[Bush's fault!]

If it turns out a right-wing groups is responsible for this, I'm calling for their f***ing heads. After Sandy Hook, the NRA and the prosthetic penis club all called for us to "hold off". To "wait and be respectful". In other words, wait for the political fire to die down so they can do damage control and retain power. F*** that sh*t. I say strike while the iron is hot. I don't have to be respectful to a group of violent savages that are guilty of sedition and treason. I don't have to be respectful of these murderous reptiles that have repeatedly called for violence against us for daring to vote, daring to challenge them, daring to claim our civil rights. I don't have to be respectful to this toxic cancer that is eating our country alive. If they're responsible for this, I demand vengeance. I want these right-wing sons-of-b*tches to be put down.

[DUmmie backscatter712, for this hate-filled rant that does not wait for the facts, we hereby declare you the winner of today's Peace, Love, and Tolerance Award®. Congratulations!]

Will you do the same if it turns out to be Islamists?

[Which it did turn out to be, of course. Anybody with a brain could have predicted that. So, by Friday, what were the DUmmies saying to cover their tracks? Take a look . . .]

This had all the earmarks of a rightwing terrorist attack. It wasn't. But that doesn't change the fact that it had all the earmarks of one. . . . it still had TONS of evidence pointing to it being a rightwing terrorist attack. The fact that it was not does not change that fact.

[The fact that it MIGHT have been, but it wasn't--that is a FACT! Earmarks are close enough. It's a FACT that it could have been!]

- - - - - - - - - -

[PROUD PAPA PITT ADDENDUM: As noted upthread, William Rivers Pitt is now a FATHER! Will, I didn't know you had it in ya! Congratulations, and I mean it sincerely. Glad that mother and child are doing fine. Little Lola Jane is a cutie. And I really do think you'll be a devoted daddy. But I do get a kick out of the timing of the birth. Yes, friends, the offspring of William Rivers Pitt was born on--wait for it--April Fool's Day! How appropriate! Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: boston; bostonbombing; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; pitt; williamriverspitt
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-50 next last
To: Charles Henrickson
If This Doesn't Scream "Teabagger Group," I Don't Know What Does

"I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream: Tea Party!"

21 posted on 04/22/2013 11:21:35 AM PDT by mikrofon (Eee-OWS'er)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Gotta love the deductive reasoning of the DUmmies.

Step 1. Discount the obvious.

Step 2. Blame righty with zero evidence.


22 posted on 04/22/2013 11:25:16 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson
I'd be willing to bet you a shiny new dime that this is some far-right-wing, White (likely White Supremacist), Teabagger Militia group.

This is what happens when liberals are forced to bet with their own money.

23 posted on 04/22/2013 11:30:27 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg (Blather. Reince. Repeat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson
Pitt just got me thinking. In Saudi Arabia I had devout Muslims tell me that the greatest gift a father can give his kids is Islam. So for leftists wouldn't the greatest gift be increasingly high taxes?
24 posted on 04/22/2013 11:39:07 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

I’m only half way through this DUFU but i just had to scroll down to post at what a fine job you and the DUmmies have done here Charles.
After a so far semi-miserable day i am now laughing my butt off and wiping tears from my eyes!
Thanks!

Hey Pitt, Boston is “My Town” too you pretentious bore.
I wonder if the owner of Bukowski Tavern ever wonders why he has no business except for Pitt....


25 posted on 04/22/2013 11:49:26 AM PDT by mowowie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cletus.D.Yokel
Seriously, read that again, critically.

Oh, I get it, totally.

The mentality is: if I immediately suspect you, even if I'm wrong, it's your fault because you're so obviously evil that you made me suspect you; i.e., it's the type of thing I know you would have done, despite there being no evidence at all that you've ever done anything like that. Because, you know, hate. And stuff.

26 posted on 04/22/2013 11:52:43 AM PDT by kevkrom (If a wise man has an argument with a foolish man, the fool only rages or laughs...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: kevkrom
This had all the earmarks of a rightwing terrorist attack. It wasn't. But that doesn't change the fact that it had all the earmarks of one. . . . it still had TONS of evidence pointing to it being a rightwing terrorist attack. The fact that it was not does not change that fact.

And this is why they'll say the next bomber screaming allah akbar is clearly a tea partier.

Its not that they can't learn. Its that they clearly and stubbornly refuse to learn.
27 posted on 04/22/2013 12:00:51 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

“The nature of the evidence is irrelevant; it’s the seriousness of the charge that matters.”


28 posted on 04/22/2013 12:02:36 PM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek
Its not that they can't learn. Its that they clearly and stubbornly refuse to learn.

Or, as I've been saying, it's not just that they're too stubborn to learn, it's that they simply know this is the type of thing that a teabagger rethuglican would do, so the fact that they immediately (even if wrongly) throw suspicion on the teabagger rethuglican proves how insidiously vile the teabagger rethuglicans are, coincidentally confirming their worldview.

Corollary: all facts vindicate the prog agenda, even if they directly contradict said agenda.

29 posted on 04/22/2013 12:06:19 PM PDT by kevkrom (If a wise man has an argument with a foolish man, the fool only rages or laughs...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson
don't have to be respectful to a group of violent savages that are guilty of sedition and treason.

treason?, like violating and attempting to further subvert the US Constitution? ...called for violence against us for daring to vote, daring to challenge them, daring to claim our civil rights

like the 2nd Amendment?, that right?

I wonder if these tools understand the meaning of the words 'Constitutional Republic' ?

30 posted on 04/22/2013 12:13:09 PM PDT by NativeSon ( Grease the floor with Crisco when I dance the Disco)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kevkrom

First rule of fight club.

There are no rules.

And then proceed to list rules.


31 posted on 04/22/2013 12:14:09 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

We need to do a crowd sourcing photo search to see if the two bombers spent any time at the Occupy Boston camp. (Unlike the Pontiferous Pitt)


32 posted on 04/22/2013 12:17:11 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

T4TP!!! Let’s hope Pitt has a few moments of mental clarity, now that he’s a Daddoo. Congrats to Mr. Pitt, if he’s reading....


33 posted on 04/22/2013 12:30:12 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

I was *gag* watching some of the commentary on Fox about the terrorist suspects and they referred first to skin heads, and the next category they considered domestic terrorists was *patriots*.

Islamic jihadists followed by a couple categories.

And as any sensible person would have already figured out, it WAS a muslim terror act.

Surprise, surprise.......

Nut nothing like planting in the head of an ordinary American the thought that *patriots* are terrorists.


34 posted on 04/22/2013 12:36:35 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Lots O’ DUmmy activity in the last week. My DUmmy mole account wasn’t able to get a word in edgewise! Of course some of the “old” regulars who hate guns (by the way, has anyone ever compiled a list of anti-gunners who also happen to be disqualified legal gun buyers due to a drug conviction(s) or domestic abuse restraining order), ok, some of the regulars were trying to get their post count numbers up.

For example, Fumesucker (who btw lives in an apartment soo small the FBI can search the entire unit for a fugative from the front door), the ever dependable grabber Hoyt and the “I’m for everything except law abiding citizens exercising their constitutional rights” graham4anything. Let’s not leave out the rather obnoxious SunSeaker who was waxing eloquent as usual while collecting unemployment.

But the real standout this past week is and I’m proud to say my good buddy also who is trying to make a quick anti-gun name for himself and possibly get into the running for DUmmy of the Year (if he can avoid being outed as a freeper in disguise) is the newly minted DUmmy hepkat.

Oh, another thing. There was much joy in DUmmville when it was made public that Budweiser Beer heir Adolphus Busch IV cancelled his life membership in the NRA. Totally lost on the DUmmies was the fact that the NRA picked up approx 1 MILLION new members in the last month. Ha Ha!


35 posted on 04/22/2013 12:42:05 PM PDT by fatboy (This protestant will have no part in the ecumenical movement)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Missed ya! Welcome back just in time for some serious rants by our ant farm in DUmmie-land!


36 posted on 04/22/2013 12:49:44 PM PDT by luvie (All my heroes wear camos!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

“I want these right-wing sons-of-b*tches to be put down.”

And that there folks is the reason for the 2nd ammendment. These people have the power of the Presidency, they have the Senate, they have most school districts and nearly all of the colleges. In addition, they have a ton of the local governments, city councils, mayoral offices, county commissions, etc.

Our country is getting buried in left wing policies and there is not much hope of escaping the dark future. Yet, they are filled with hate and anger. Why? Because we just EXIST! Eventually, they will want to fix that and will be more than willing to take the appropriate actions.

First they must disarm us tho’.


37 posted on 04/22/2013 12:52:23 PM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

These clowns know the anniversaries of Waco and the OKC bombing better than we do.


38 posted on 04/22/2013 2:33:29 PM PDT by informavoracious (The ancient Greeks and Romans thought they were on the "right side of history.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

No kewpie doll award this time. That saddens me.


39 posted on 04/22/2013 3:11:39 PM PDT by Veggie Todd (Hey, Idiot Kid - pull up your pants!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

Boo Hoo! Pitt lives 3 miles away. Two of my daughters work in that neighborhood. One a block down from the finish line and one works the next street over. Both of them work at street level businesses. Thank God they both didn’t have to work that day because of the Marathon.


40 posted on 04/22/2013 4:08:44 PM PDT by GQuagmire
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-50 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson