Posted on 12/21/2012 8:03:47 PM PST by John Semmens
President Barack Obama tabbed Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) as the person he wants to succeed the ailing Hillary Clinton as the nation's Secretary of State. While the move was not unexpected, the President said it is imperative that the transition be accelerated before Secretary Clinton's memory loss becomes too severe and the encroaching dementia of an elderly woman erases or muddles vital knowledge that needs to be passed on.
The President also cited the recently released report critical of massive dereliction of duty by key State Department personnel in the September terrorist attack on the Benghazi Consulate as a spur to action. The forced resignations of Eric Boswell, the assistant secretary of state for diplomatic security, and Charlene Lamb, the deputy assistant secretary responsible for embassy security demonstrate a failure of leadership in this important function of government, he said. I cannot stand down from my responsibility to restore Americans' faith in the ability of their government to perform at the highest possible level of competency.
As for Clinton's replacement, Obama observed that Senator Kerry isn't just a fresh face. He brings foreign policy experience to the job. This experience began in his youth where after bravely enduring the grievous wounds that earned him three Purple Hearts during his service in the Vietnam War he immediately embarked upon efforts to end that conflict. That these efforts were successful is a testament to his vision and ability.
Kerry announced that the President has agreed that the top priority in his new position will be to achieve a treaty combating global warming, which he says represents the greatest existential threat to the planet. The dangers posed by hostile nations and terrorist attacks are puny compared to the damage that will be done by global warming, Kerry contended. The people killed by bullets and the buildings blown up by bombs can all be replaced. But once the climate is irreversibly changed there will be no recourse.
In fact, inasmuch as a 'smaller human footprint' would be a positive step toward averting or ameliorating global climate change, the activities of so-called oppressive governments and terrorist organizations that occasion a reduction in the size of this footprint can be said to have a 'silver lining,' Kerry argued.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/124971-2012-12-21-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-december-23-2012.htm
ping
ping
Didn’t he serve in VN?
Christmas and New Years calibrations should bring back some memories of his time there, not to mention his many, many Purple Hearts for bravery.
Didnt he serve in VN?
Christmas and New Years calibrations should bring back some memories of his time there, not to mention his many, many Purple Hearts for bravery.
served in the mess hall
The first thing OBummer should do is send John (IWIVN) Kerry to Laos.
Did I say “calibrations” ... oops. Celebrations would fit better, my bad.
Good one again John. Thanks for the ping.
I hope the Senate Confirmation grinds Kerry to a pulp. I am waiting the true story of his Purple Heart. Did he or did he not get a legitimate injury? Or, was it all concocted on a yeoman’s typewriter?
Also, what is Kerry’s connection to the Tides Foundation?
“I hope the Senate Confirmation grinds Kerry to a pulp.”
The non-loyal non-opposition in the Senate will all shout “Yea!” in lockstep approval for this fine fellow Marxist member of the globalist elite. It’s a done deal, as is everything else in “our” government.
It’s amazing that this guy has a job doing anything more complicated than cleaning toilets, let alone being Secretary of State.
But wasn’t he ALWAYS going to nominate Kerry? Everything else was just a divrsion.
Your satirical stab at the future is on target — Hillary will leave citing stress and never testify on her people she allowed to be murdered and her cover for the Won.
Now that you beat around the bush, tell us how you really feel.. :)
Amhadinejad/Putin/Lil’ Kim: ‘Hey American dogs, you ready to do like we tell you?’
Lurch the Ketchup Prince: ‘You rannnnggggg...?’
Secretly. By next week.
Thanks again for the ping. There is an abundance of fodder for your satire with this administration.
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