Posted on 03/17/2017 9:25:10 AM PDT by fungoking
U.S.—Reports from around the country Friday indicated that celebrations in honor of Christian missionary Saint Patrick consisted primarily of consuming large amounts of alcohol in order to get “totally plastered.” Get the Bee delivered straight to your inbox.
Partygoers around the nation and world declared their deep level of respect and admiration for the missionary by pounding all sorts of green beer, hard liquor, wine, and mixed drinks throughout the day and into the night, sources confirmed.
“I’d like to dedicate this to the great ambassador of the one glorious gospel to the lost souls of Ireland,” one man in Boston declared just before some friends hoisted him up to perform his third keg stand of the morning.
“Saint Paaatrrrriiiiiiick!” a woman from Los Angeles cried out, overcome with emotion at the thought of the devout evangelist. “Brrrrfffrrrrrraaagggdddlllellll hahaha!” she added.
A Denver man paying his respects to the missionary echoed the celebratory yet reverential mood sweeping the nation. “To the man who was taken captive into slavery at the young age of 16, escaped, and then returned to the land of his enslavement to share the soul-saving gospel of Jesus Christ among the pagan Druids who wanted him dead!” he said between shots of Jack Daniel’s at a local Applebee’s. “This one’s for you, Patrick!”
“More shots! It’s what ol’ Paddy would have wanted!” he added.
And he wasn’t even Irish!................
It’s the reinforcin’ o’ the stereotypes!
Very lame.
And he isnt an official Saint from what I read.
I mean you have to admit that it has to be the only group where we actually have a “holiday” to engage in negative stereotypes, fake accents, and public drunkenness.
And yet the real Irish just are bemused by it all and aren’t screaming for it to be banned.
That looks Welsh instead of Irish.
Come back on May 5th and say that.
God created Whiskey so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world
St. Patrick’s Day 2017St. Patrick’s Day 2017
Life. St. Patrick was born in Roman Britain. ... According to the Confession of St. Patrick, at the age of just sixteen Patrick was captured by a group of Irish pirates. They brought him to Ireland where he was enslaved and held captive for six years.
Also fake food. Corned beef and cabbage is not Irish food.
I have a very Irish surname, and the irony of it amuses even me.
We don’t do grievance as a profession. If it’s that bad, we take it outside and *behind* the establishment, so that we don’t frighten prospective customers away. :-)
Not nearly enough consonants.
I used to be “Irish” like everybody else on St. Patrick’s Day and then I grew up. I will admit it was awfully fun back in the day.
Deliciously funny! (and I am Irish)
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