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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 08/19/2016 6:19:04 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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73 Bad Puns In 5 Minutes
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I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band.
I have a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
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So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.
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What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.
As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
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King of Puns - Milton Jones
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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; puns; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen
2
posted on
08/19/2016 6:20:36 AM PDT
by
real saxophonist
( YouTube + Twitter + Facebook = YouTwitFace.com)
To: Lucky9teen
3
posted on
08/19/2016 6:20:45 AM PDT
by
mykroar
(Democrats in 2016: The party of genitalia, real or imagined.)
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...
WHAT KIND OF
IS THIS?
CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
4
posted on
08/19/2016 6:20:48 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(God's blessing has been on America from the very beginning, and I believe God isn't done yet. TCruz)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
8
posted on
08/19/2016 6:21:26 AM PDT
by
TADSLOS
(Vote Trump. Defeat the Clinton Crime Syndicate. Reset America.)
To: TADSLOS
To: Lucky9teen
10
posted on
08/19/2016 6:23:49 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Lucky9teen
I suspect the problem is that one of them keeps transcending its limits…
11
posted on
08/19/2016 6:25:08 AM PDT
by
cartan
To: Lucky9teen
12
posted on
08/19/2016 6:25:26 AM PDT
by
real saxophonist
( YouTube + Twitter + Facebook = YouTwitFace.com)
Comment #13 Removed by Moderator
To: Lucky9teen
I don’t like battery chargers. I find them re-volting.
To: Travis T. OJustice
Cleaner version.
To: onona
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
16
posted on
08/19/2016 6:27:18 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: onona
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
17
posted on
08/19/2016 6:27:48 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Larry Lucido
A while back, I submitted a handful of what I thought were witty puns for a contested i had hoped to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
To: real saxophonist
LMAO. Gotta try that one on my wife the next time she drags me into that rat maze hell.
19
posted on
08/19/2016 6:29:11 AM PDT
by
TADSLOS
(Vote Trump. Defeat the Clinton Crime Syndicate. Reset America.)
To: Larry Lucido
I hate election cheaters. I find them re-voting.
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