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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 08/19/2016 6:19:04 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen
For some great plans, Google up Frank and Ernest cartoons.
To: real saxophonist
22
posted on
08/19/2016 6:31:53 AM PDT
by
PROCON
("Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!")
To: Lucky9teen
Good Morning!
I know...LATE, as usual! :-)
23
posted on
08/19/2016 6:32:43 AM PDT
by
left that other site
(You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
To: Larry Lucido
To: Lucky9teen
25
posted on
08/19/2016 6:34:19 AM PDT
by
SkyDancer
("They Say That Nobody's Perfect But Yet Here I Am")
To: PROCON
26
posted on
08/19/2016 6:34:21 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Lucky9teen
A Polish guy goes to the DMV to get a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
27
posted on
08/19/2016 6:35:25 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys-Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat-But they know what's best for you.)
To: onona
28
posted on
08/19/2016 6:35:37 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Lucky9teen
Somewhere in the top 316...
Missed the Silliness last week. Hope to make up for my absence.
Winners of the Look Alike contest:
I was going to insert here the joke about Donald and Killary going to the bakery but you've prolly already heard it.
My therapist said my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
h/t Jack Hydrazine
A riddle (answer below, but no peeking): Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
h/t Ray
When The Wedding Reception Open Bar Opens...
Speaking of Hillary...
h/t Alex
Who says building a border wall won't work?
The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so its a local call."
h/t aRay
I know a man who had eight vasectomies because his wife kept getting pregnant.
What do you get when you cross PMS with GPS? A crazy bitch who will find you.
h/t Spanky
Here's one for Lucky. Use as you will:
Answer to the riddle above (here's the question again for short term memory loss FReepers: Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?) Answer: It was the pot calling the cattle back.
h/t it
Cross out Cruz and write in Comey.
Dear Alcohol, We had a deal that you would make me more handsome, funnier and a better dancer. I've seen the video. We need to talk. |
Do your part: We need to ban pre-shredded cheese to make America grate again!
h/t wnm
29
posted on
08/19/2016 6:37:18 AM PDT
by
upchuck
(The very worst of Trump is much better than the very best of Killary. Go TRUMP!)
To: SkyDancer
30
posted on
08/19/2016 6:37:35 AM PDT
by
PROCON
("Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!")
To: PROCON
A large pickup truck delivering dumplings to the Chinese restaurant was being driven recklessly, and the driver was doing donuts and knocking over mailboxes. I tried to climb aboard and stop him, but a cop stopped me and asked what I thought I was doing.
I told him “I want on the wanton wonton one-ton!”
To: onona
32
posted on
08/19/2016 6:38:05 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Larry Lucido
33
posted on
08/19/2016 6:39:40 AM PDT
by
PROCON
("Lock Her Up! Lock Her Up!")
To: PROCON
Took a girl to show them how to do it first. LOL :) And Good Morning to you too!
34
posted on
08/19/2016 6:40:47 AM PDT
by
SkyDancer
("They Say That Nobody's Perfect But Yet Here I Am")
To: onona
35
posted on
08/19/2016 6:42:56 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Lucky9teen
Are people in Telemark, Norway, telemarketers?
To: onona
37
posted on
08/19/2016 6:45:20 AM PDT
by
onona
(Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
To: Scythian_Reborn
Some recent sports articles have attempted to rehabilitate the image of Detroit Tigers great Ty Cobb. It may be true that he wasn’t as mean as they say, but it is true that he was a very messy eater.
I bought an autographed necktie on e-Bay that Cobb had worn at an Asian restaurant where he had a few drinks. It was still knotted when I got it.
And you know what?
There was Mai Tai and Pad Thai on my tied Ty tie!
To: left that other site
"Waiter... there's a hare in my pancakes!"
39
posted on
08/19/2016 7:03:52 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(God's blessing has been on America from the very beginning, and I believe God isn't done yet. TCruz)
To: Lucky9teen
40
posted on
08/19/2016 7:14:51 AM PDT
by
xp38
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