Posted on 08/14/2015 7:48:39 PM PDT by proud American in Canada
Hi,
I feel like I have relied on FR so much recently. Everything is breaking down around here. My husband checked himself into a hospital a couple of days ago; he needs heart bypass surgery.
My son and daughter are in the Gaspe peninsula visiting their grandmother. They will come back in a week, except my son will be stopping in Montreal to go to college.
Our house is falling apart; we have no exterior back wall and the insurance won't pay for it, that will cost $15K Canadian.
I am a lawyer in Colorado, but don't really know the ropes here in QC, especially in French.
I had my drivers license suspended for medical reasons; I am now on medication and should get it back soon. I have to, because my husband won't be allowed to drive after he has his surgery, which he won't have for another two weeks.
I just don't know what to do, except I do retreat to the feelings I have felt since I was fourteen... I was a "cutter" before it was cool. Over thirty years ago, I would walk from my law school dorm room in Chicago to the Walgreens... to buy razor blades. It felt so good to cut myself.
Now, all I can think about is finding those stupid keys for the gun locks that my husband put on his guns (he knows me too well).
I used to think I had something to contribute to the world. Now, I am not sure.
I called the hospital and I just wanted to go over there and sleep in a cot next to him, but I'm not allowed.
It's just me and my black Lab named Ellie.
Anyway, sorry to bother you all. Just wondered if anyone else here felt like this sometimes and what did you do about it?
You seem to have forgotten about your husband and your two children. Yet it's only your dog? Really?
That aside, the suicide pros and cons title makes it sound like you're looking for attention ... not like you're really serious about ending your life.
Here's a news flash - if you do it you will hurt, until the day they die, the people that care about you the most.
God has placed you on this Earth for a reason!
Don’t second guess Him! He’ll call you to your appointed task in His own good time.
Meanwhile, I’m praying for you. There is much fellowship for you here. All of us are the same as you, created in the image of God. Each of us was gifted with a body that is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
God intended that we each should depart this Earth only in the natural fullness of time. He loves you and you are never alone!
I love how this community responds. I love the way you reached out and I see benefited from others concerns and help; and remember God is with you.
I want you to remember mirth, courage, irony and this advice:
< img src=”http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M;”/>
So, what would Ellie do? You are all she has............
Watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1T5uMeYv9Q
David Burns - Feeling Good.
Only 18 minutes and it’s a great place to start.
I’ve been amazed at how well this works.
Who is Ellie?
I am overwhelmed. Thank you, Nea, and everyone else.
I am sending a paypal payment to FR.
What you have created, JR, is a real place, like a virtual town square, where people of all ages, stripes, colors, whatever, can come together and speak, soul to soul. It is a real miracle. The Lord was working through you, I have no doubt.
I somehow feel like watching my favorite movie of all time, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.” :) Watched that when I was very depressed in law school and it changed my life. :)
It is a serious sin. Don’t do it.
I hope you’ll get some help ASAP. Please call a crisis hotline. TONITE.
Something I would also suggest is getting to a good family Doctor and talk about what you’re going through There are several things they can do, including put you on antidepressants. Depression is usually a chemical imbalance and it CAN be successfully treated. If you had strep throat, you’d take penicillin. Depression is far deadlier. Please get it treated and stay with your husband, your dog, and the rest of us for awhile longer.
Prayers are already up for you.
That aside, the suicide pros and cons title makes it sound like you’re looking for attention ... not like you’re really serious about ending your life.
____________________________________________________
Thanks Lizavetta. You don’t know me at all. So I wonder why you bothered to weigh in with your crap.
In the future, please don’t.
Take care. I am actually kind of shocked to read this. I spent a long time answering every person that private messaged me, then went back to the main thread to say good night and thank you, and saw this.
Anyway. All the best (seriously),
Julie
(but please feel free not to respond to me). Thanks.
You are right. It is throwing away God’s greatest gift.
Thank you all .. :)
“God heals the broken hearts and binds up their sorrows.”
(Psalm 147:3)
God be with you! Jesus is your brother, he has bore the brunt of all our sins. There is no return from suicide! Pray my sister!
My black Lab dog. :) Full of energy and I have been letting her sleep with me on the bed. :) She pretty much likes that.
Dogs are wonderful!
Thank you so much. :) I really appreciate all of your kindness. It is truly humbling.
Now that it’s almost midnight, I’m going to get to bed. Thank you all for chatting with me. It meant so much. :)
Thank you very much, proud American in Canada!! God bless.
I lost 4 children to the pit of hell years ago and found Christ as a replacement with a determination to fight evil whenever I can.
Do not give up, let it be what gives you a new energy. People to whom nothing happen know nothing and are virtually dead. To those that bad things happen, they can tell the story and have a newfound life.
Private Message me if you want to tell stories, it is the only way to resilience, writing and praying.
Hi.
I’m going to tell you something I’ve not shared with anyone here. I’m a suicide survivor. I attempted it once and it was by the grace of G-d and my guardian angel I’m here, I shouldn’t be. And I’m grateful.
I also self harmed too in HS, college and grad school, as well as bulimic.
I realized one thing by almost dying. It wasn’t my time and life is very very precious.
The fact that you are here, asking for help is a good sign. That’s the part of you the wants to live. Hold on to iit. It’s stronger than the part that wants to die.
Here’s something to think about. Tonight is bad but tomorrow will be better. Meanwhile you have Ellie. You have a husband and children. You have grand babies to look forward to. You have a law degree. That is so much to have accomplished. Do you see how amazing and smart you are?.
You are just going through a bad patch, we all go through them. Life always will kick us in the cahones when we are down but by this we can appreciate the good and wonderful.
Hang in there sweetie. It gets better. Hold Ellie tight and give her a kiss from me.
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