Man Writes Down Hilarious Things Girlfriend Says While Talking in Her Sleep

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[9thLife]

Reddit user Soggybrick said he finds it quite funny when he hears his girlfriend Samantha talking in her sleep. So funny, in fact, that he's decided to share some of her most notable lines on the Web.

"She just talks sometimes while I'm on the computer late at night," he told ABC News. "So I take notes of them whenever they're absurd or hilarious."

Soggybrick, who's actually a man named James living in New Zealand, wrote down and published some of his favorite lines on Reddit, which include the following:

I want the little clay things that are spread all around.

I can't do anything right now, I'm in the middle of cups.

We can't make the other one, we don't have the bigger machine.

Some random person is testing me.

I need more feet.

You're not worthy of my trust.

I feel like I have keyboards stuck to me.

How much left until the map is finished?

I can't remember why you were going to swap the apples.

Give me the flavorful items.

I can't fall asleep I'll get in trouble. Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed.

The Parmesan doesn't go like that.

[FredZarguna]

There are two chemicals, glycine and GABA that paralyze your skeletal muscles when you're in REM [dreaming] sleep, which keep your body from acting out your dreams, and potentially causing you to hurt yourself. The interactions between large muscles and involuntary systems are complicated when you're on the verge of being conscious, and your conscious mind -- which tries to make sense of everything, even things that don't make sense -- will attempt to interpret your asphyxiation as something happening in the external environment.

The combination of these two things: paralysis of large muscles and confusion as you emerge from consciousness leads to very weird effects; it's one theory for why some people believe they've been abducted by aliens. One of my roommates in college was struggling to breathe and could neither breathe nor move for almost five minutes, all he could do was make increasingly frantic "humming noises" as he lay there helplessly in bed. We finally decided to throw very cold water on him, which actually brought him out.

[minnesota_bound]

Instead of saying his name, she keeps saying all the names of the other guys she wants

[yarddog]

Thanks, that is interesting.

When I was in college, my room mate who 50 years later is still a good friend, did something strange.

In the middle of the night he suddenly rose up in bed almost like a monster coming to life. He then jumped out of bed and assumed a fighting or maybe defensive stance and yelled out something which sounded like “Larch”. It actually frightened me a bit and I yelled “George”. He immediately woke up, slapped his forehead and went back to bed. We were room mates for two years and never had a problem. He is now married with a bunch of kids and grand kids.

It really was strange.

[Pete from Shawnee Mission]

Snore; “Its going to be a boy...The cat told me....”

Snore “Dxxit James: When the xxxx are you going to propose?”

Snore; “The box of cartridges! Found them! Where’s that revolver now?”

[Secret Agent Man]

Some women really cannot keep their mouth shut. :)

[VerySadAmerican]

I used to have sleep hypnosis. It’s very scary.

[mrsmith]

"The monsters from the id...

say the funniest things!"

[certrtwngnut]

I used to have a recurring dream in which I was shot. When the bullet would strike me I would bounce on the bed & wake up my wife. I cannot remember how many times this happened but it was a lot. It has not happened in the last 8-10 years so I guess I am over it.

[FredZarguna]

This is the one I get from time-to-time: Exploding head syndrome.

Scary as hell.

[dayglored]

> ... never hear surf music again ...

Thank you! I haven't had Third Stone stuck in my brain in a long time, and its return is very welcome. In my teens in the latter-60's that was my anthem, my garage band covered it rather well, and one summer day rehearsing in the driveway outside the house, I finished a 15-minute version of the tune by smashing my guitar in a trance. Ah, youth. I'll have strange dreams tonight, for sure.

Again, thank you!

[FredZarguna]

My wife is deaf and signs in her sleep. Unfortunately it’s dark and I can’t make out most of what she’s saying

So... you could both be gabbing up a storm in the middle of the night, and neither one would know...

[Nea Wood]

Good point. One time I saw a youtube video of a game show from the '70s. A female contestant accidentally said something which revealed she'd lived with her husband before they were married. She was mortified, and the audience roared. But what was interesting was the comments from young people under the video. They didn't get why it was so funny. Other posters had to come along and explain, saying, "See, at one time it was considered immoral to live with someone before marriage. This woman accidentally revealed that she had, and was embarrassed." Young people today not only think there's nothing wrong with with shacking up, but they do not seem to know it was ever considered wrong.

[Jeff Chandler]

that gave me the best laugh out loud I've had in a few days.

You obviously haven't been reading my posts.

[TangibleDisgust]

tagline chosen! :)

[Redcitizen]

Need to switch to Braille...

;)

[PLMerite]

“One friend once told me she woke up laughing at her alarm clock.”

Once when a girlfriend was sleeping over, the alarm clock woke me up and I tried to turn it off. I couldn’t understand why the alarm clock was cursing at me until I fully woke up and saw I was trying to (un-gently) turn off my girlfriend’s nose.

[dfwgator]

Or a Dylan song.

Or a Romantics' song.

[killermosquito]

I woke up one morning and my brother was in bed with me, I said, “Tom (my brother), why are you in bed with me?” then I said “who moved all the furniture?”

[tumblindice]

My significant other walks in her sleep.
So the other night while she was bumping into walls I led her some place she never goes—
the kitchen!
Hey, take my wife. Please ...

[Moonman62]

Around 20 years ago I dreamed I was in a field and there were bunches of peanut hay burning. The smoke was bothering my breathing.

I awoke and realized I had not been breathing for some time. For maybe 30-40 seconds I could not catch my breath no matter how hard I breathed. I finally did but it disturbed me to an extreme degree.

...

I had the same dream when I was a kid, but I dreamed that I inhaled bug spray. I never did have that dream again, but I sure do remember it.