Skip to comments.Why Women Choose Bad Boys
Posted on 05/16/2012 6:19:41 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Women choose bad boys because their hormones make them, new research suggests. When ovulating a woman's hormones influence who she sees as good potential fathers, and they specifically pick sexier men over obviously more dependable men.
"Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," study researcher Kristina Durante, of The University of Texas at San Antonio, said in a statement. "But until now it was unclear why women would ever think it's wise to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men."
The study was published today, May 14, in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers had women view online dating profiles of either a sexy man or a reliable man during periods of both high and low fertility. Participants were asked to indicate the expected paternal contribution from the men if they had a child together based on how helpful the man would be caring for the baby, shopping for food, cooking and contributing to household chores. Near ovulation women thought that the sexy man would contribute more to these domestic duties.
"Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," Durante said. "When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right."
The researchers followed up that find with a second study in which women interacted directly with male actors who played the roles of sexy cad and reliable dad once during ovulation and again at low fertility. Again, ovulating women thought that the sexy cad but not the reliable dad would contribute more to childcare, but only as her partner
(Excerpt) Read more at livescience.com ...
I could have told them the same thing after the check cleared from the person funding the study.
“As a male I have seen it(as in dating) women who have tat’s/piercings. Let’s say there is no comparison. More open to try anything..lot more open, outgoing, carefree, let’s leave it at that.”
I would add to that (at the risk of major flameage) women who smoke cigarettes. Just my personal observation over the last 54 years - they project a “sure, I’m easy” vibe.
“Because Modern Women are BLANKED in the head.”
Riiiiiiiiiight. It’s just the women.
Men NEVER select for looks. Never, ever.
Men look for more important qualities. They inevitably go for the smart, stable woman with the good job and sense of humor who’s five two, 160 pounds, short brown hair and glasses.
“Women choose to have relationships with bad boys because they dont like themselves very much, and were raised either without a close relationship with their fathers, or with an unhealthy relationship with their fathers.”
My personal experience directly contradicts this: my elder daughter and I have always had a terrific, close relationship in a biblically run Christian family and she got involved with an atheistic, tattooed, pot-smoking a$$hole in college. She finally figured out he was worthless, but not before our entire family went through hell dealing with her poor choices.
But now that they offer paternity test kits over the counter at pharmacies.......
Maybe not so much anymore!
Not finding George Clooney particularly sexy anymore.
another one from scripture, tis better to live in the corner of the attic than in a house with a quarresome woman..
Beautiful woman and wealthy men is older than the hills. It’s not just good looks, a la Clooney, it’s “the look,” i.e., piercings, tattoos, etc. “Edgy.”
Some women will be attracted to a homely man with the ‘bad boy look’ more quickly than to a handsome, solid/sober/responsible guy.
Women are most attracted to men who display an attitude of “If you won't sleep with me, that's fine, I was getting tired out from all the other girls anyway”.” PapaBear3625
You hit that nail on the head. Women are notorious “mate poachers” - they want a man who already has a woman. He is vetted, domesticated, and desired.
They did a study where women answered questions and then were told that based upon their answers they were emotionally compatible with THIS guy (the same picture of a male model). Half the women were told that he was single, and would they like him to contact them? The other half were told he was in a relationship, but would they like him to contact them?
Of the women told he was single - only 60% wanted him to contact them. Male model, told that he was emotionally compatible - and 40% had no interest in him contacting them.
Of the women told he was in a relationship - 90% wanted him to contact them.
That is why men's sex lives seems to be either feast or famine. When you are hungry - nobody wants to feed you. When you are satiated - women all seem to want to whip something up in the kitchen to tantalize your taste-buds.
Women marry men thinking they can change them. Men marry women thinking they will never change.
Code word: Leader.
It's 50,000 generations of preference for the alpha male over the beta male.
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby. The nurse brings to them a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, white baby boy!
"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wongs don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."
If you really love a woman, don't tell her, SHOW her, kiss her you fool, and then let her figure it out. Fix stuff for her if she asks, and sometimes if she doesn't if you see something stupid about her home or car if you happen to be standing right there and it's in plain sight, but don't call her - ever.
Don't praise her ever. If she makes you a sammich, say thank you. If she asks you if her hair or dress looks nice, you say it looks okay. The words won't win her. The smile whenever you see her will. Again, that's only if you love her.
If you don't, just tell her it's just for giggles and just keep moving on. "And I'm freeeee, free fallin'...."
Women feel deeply. They're designed to do that. When they are immature they are attracted to bold behavior because they believe it provides security. Once they realize the error the attraction goes away. Some woman never grow up. These are not women to be married to.
Its just human nature to not buy from someone who seems desparate. Too eager to please infers desparate.
I think a large part of it is the assumed pre-vetting. The guy in a relationship is assumed to have good qualities, otherwise his girlfriend would have dumped him (and this is judged relative to the hotness of his current girlfriend). A guy without a girlfriend is judged to be a loser, by the same criteria.
One possible way out of this for single guys, is to be seen hanging out with a cute woman.
Lol, smooth sailing. I am female and long ago decided I was tired of concerning myself with what others think. Gotta tell you, I love ‘smooth sailing’.
“In fact this short column reads like it is written for women who don’t want to feel guilty for sleeping around.”
We Have A Winner!
Give this man a job as a carpenter, ‘cause he DEFINITELY hit the nail on the head!
Over the course of human history, stable civilization has been a fragile and transient thing.
In a tame civilization, the high earning accountant is intellectually a preferable mate. When TSHTF, though, the woman will want the baddest of bad boys looking out for she, and she may not know ahead of time when TSHTF.
Cool. Let’s go out and get married but keep it all light and smooth. See you Tuesday.
Ha,ha, many years ago a female co-worker I knew said this exact same thing. I couldn't figure out the "logic" either. But then I'm a male, and the book of male knowledge of female logic consists of two pages, both blank. (I hope my wife isn't reading this.)
My dad pointed that out to me when after a girlfriend of mine attended a Crew race and I suddenly noticed a TON of female attention from women on the Crew team. She was hot - so I was obviously desired by hot women - and she was healthy and happy and SAFE, and coming back for more - all good indications.
For single guys I recommend NEVER taking “in a relationship” off your status on Facebook or other sites - and as you recommended - hanging out with a beautiful woman can NEVER hurt.
Cultivate friendships with women single guys - when you are single OR in a relationship. One woman I met on the Crew team many years ago is still a close friend - and besides the benefits of female advice and a hot woman to hang out with where other women can see - she has hooked me up several times with single women she knows.
As much as I would have liked to have “hit that” years ago - maintaining a friendship has paid dividends year after year.
Men have beer goggles. Now we know women have their own goggles. No wonder half of marriages fail (not the only reason obviously).
28th post, Laz. You’re slipping!
Was the implication that 30% of kids are fathered by someone other than the assumed father?
Skewed data source.
My bet is that only men with reasons to be suspicious have the child tested.
But there’s only one of you, DC! What are all the rest of the ladies to do?
Nah, problem is that even the nerdiest of guys somehow thinks he's going to land a woman built like Marissa Miller. As for women liking short men, I'm 5'1" and it never seemed to hurt me. Even married a 6' blonde.
Men are shallow if they like hot sexy women Women are simply turned on by bad boys
I think you just have that one backwards. Guys bitch constantly about about the bad-boy attraction, but everyone expects all men to like hot women.
Men are giggiloes if they marry rich Women are simply prudent if they look for good providers
There is some truth to that one, but I believe it's changing and has been for some time.
Explain to me why you would think biology is a liberal viewpoint, but your pseudo-psychology is not? I would say that you have that completely backwards. The liberal mindset is more likely to lay everything at the feet of mommy issues or daddy issues.
You may have just described why I enjoyed so much success in the dating world. It's been over 21 years now, and I still miss dating.
So many people sabotage their own relationships/dating/marriages with basic, simple errors ahead of time.
A guy I work out with is in his late 40's, never married. Super nice guy, above average looks and is fit with a good job. Problem is he still lives with his parents-never moved out. As soon as women find out before dating him or after the first date they run like the wind. He is automatically looked upon as a loser.
My uncle married a woman in her late 30's-both their first marriages though he dated a lot in the past. Divorced 2 years later. She was a virgin when he met her and guess what? She was as frigid as a popsicle. Zero sex drive. Sex maybe 5-6 times per year not matter what he did. He should have put 2+2 together and figured ahead of time sex was not a priority in her life... at that age with her still being a virgin and should have discussed it in detail what to expect. We asked him what were you thinking?
We spent a few nights together, and she was not comfortable receiving pleasure. After fooling around a little (very little) she told me it was the first time she had touched a man's sexual organ - I replied “I could tell”.
Later she seemed disappointed that things didn't go further and told me “If you want something you have to TAKE it!” and I told her in my culture that is considered RAPE.
I broke up with her after going to Sea World and she wore stupid shoes for a day of standing around and walking around. Who has the time to train someone up from nothing in their late 30’s? I didn't have much hope at that point that it was fertile sexual soil just waiting for the right conditions to spring up into a garden.
Sometimes when someone misses the boat - it sails on without them - and they never will make it to the promised land.
That particular kind of naivete is especially prevalent on FR. I can no longer remember the FReeperette's name, but on a thread a long time ago, she even postulated that most couples give up french kissing early into marriage. Having been married over 20 years, I assured her that was not the case in healthy marriages, which led to an exchange that left me with nothing but a profound sympathy for her husband.
Your mileage may vary but he vast majority of women prefer taller men just as most men prefer thinne rwomen.
While few men want a skinny bag of hangers like fashion models, they don’t want fat women; a few men like fat women but not many.
Even my 5’1” wife wanted a tall man. Go figure.
Makes perfect sense to me. The problem is that you'll find a number of equally misguided men, who would look upon the above description positively, only to find themselves married to her and unable to shake the lonely, unloved feeling that would permeate their marriage.
I have no desire to be (at this stage of my life) a woman's first - just to be her BEST! ;)
Out of the dating pool now, thankfully. Sexy nurse with piles of books in every room of her house got me all lovey dovey with great sex, lots of love, and an open offer of sex on demand.
Women could learn a lot from her. I am marrying her as soon as possible. ;)
Yes, those numbers came from testing done where the "official" father suspected something.
For cases not involving father suspicion, it varies, depending on country, race, and socio-economic status.
One study, "Measuring paternal discrepancy and its public health consequences", looked at various other studies. For non-disputed paternity (ie, the testing was not done because the father suspected anything), USA results were
Michigan white sample: 1.4%
Michigan black sample: 10.1%
California white sample: 2.7%
Hawaiian families: 2.3%
It goes both ways. You always hear about the frigid wife but just as many women want more intimacy and passion in their marriage and are not getting it. Their husbands ignore them for various reasons..porn, hobbies or jobs that consume their lives. Lot of sexually frustrated Peg Bundy's out there.
Having been together close to 30 years, I agree with you.
I had heard from geneticists, who have the unenviable task of reconciling reported heredity with ACTUAL heredity - that the rate was about 10%.
That always seemed high to me.
While the 30% rate is obviously way too high - because of self selection bias; most men do not test paternity unless they suspect something - and in 70% of cases their fears are unwarranted.
Meh, the story of my life could be summed up with, "I never thought I'd date a man as short as you." I heard it so much that if I account for those who were too polite to say it, I'd have to say that every single one of them thought it. As a matter of fact, my wife's very first words to me were, "You're too short."
I know what all the studies say, I know what women claim, etc etc, but it's never seemed to have been an actual deal breaker in my life.
Wow, what a comprehensive reply!
Thanks, that confirms my suspicions.
(About the data, not my kids. All four are definitely mine. No possibilities otherwise, no worries.)
They just don’t look like good Mothers. Out of bed with them.
Just confirms my unpublished but heavily tested theory that wearing lab jackets all day increases a woman's libido. Sounds strange but the data is overwhelming. Never once dated a doctor or a nurse who wasn't healthily lustful. Even since being married, since almost all of our friends are one of the above, observation is still confirming my lab jacket theory. I should ask for a grant.
Women who smoke and/or have tats/piercings exhibit a history of making bad decisions. Which depending on what someone is after, may not be a bad thing.
Agreed, but it usually takes a different form, or at least it seems to from what I hear from my wife. Her friends have been known to complain that their husbands are too devoted to the quickie, and by that I don't mean problems with being premature. Seems like a lot of these guys want to golf all day, play on the computer until she's been in bed for half an hour, and then expect a wham bam thank you ma'am before nodding off to sleep.
What do good mothers look like?
I disagree and think you are generalizing. My previous gf I was referring to never smoked but did have tat's and some piercings. Very intelligent, working on a graduate degree, great job, never in trouble.
Fun, fun girl. Lively, full of energy, humorous. She made something as mundane as gift wrapping an enjoyable time. Even the way she walked and presented herself.
Some women(and men) are so serious they walk around with what seems a stick up their butt and have a scowl on their face. You just want to tell them to lighten up.
.There is just something different about those women(my ex)..maybe they don't take life as serious.
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