So just be silly today!!!
Posted on 03/14/2008 6:41:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I've been out sick with that dang cold this week, so I didn't prepare much for today's thread...
You Gotta Love the Irish
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!”
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
The man said, “I do, Father.”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”
Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.
“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.”
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. ; ; I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”
___________________________________________________________
Paddy was in New York .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, “Okay, pedestrians.” Then he’d allow the traffic to pass.
He’d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, “Pedestrians!” for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, “Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?”
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
“Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher. “They say I died!!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where are ye callin’ from?”
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding inConnecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.”
“Oh yeah?” said Charlie, “And how did this one end?”
“When it was over,” Mike replied, “She came to me on her hands and knees.
“Really,” said Charles, “Now that’s a switch! What did she say?”
She said, “Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.”
I’d like a shot of Bailey’s in mine, please.
Yep,
Mine too (coming right up).
Pour old oil ACROSS FENSE in hole in NEIGHBOR’S back yard.
Fixed it.
Actually, I give my old oil to my brother. He has a waste oil furnace in his shop. But, yeah, I am guilty of “spilling” some.
reallyreallyreallyreally
Want a beer right now.
Gawd I love Guinness!
Thank you!!
I really,
reallyreallyreallyreally
Want a beer right now.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So do I! In a very few hours I will be having some Serious Beer! (or should I say series beer)
Try it ala mode...
+
=
YUMMY!
Yep,
same here....
it’s been a bad day and it’s not even near over.
Oh my!
That does look good.
You are so sweet!
Thank you....
I’ll have two please and a cocktail also.
Two?
Good lord......
Look,
I’m greedy.
I got a new "Temper-matic." Built in thermometer takes your temperature every hour. I now get sick as often as possible.
To show you how times have changed:
Back in 1982 I somehow filled my Saab with Diesel at a local filling station. I had to drain it so the owner gave me a hose and I put one end in my tank and the other in the gutter...
This was at a major intersection. I even talked to people as they were filling their tanks about the boneheaded mistake I made. They all thought it was funny and one guy even mentioned doing it himself once.
Nobody had a problem with my, and the owners, solution.
Oh, I forgot...Happy PI day to you!
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