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Weiner to Open Wiener Restaurant
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Aug 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/09/2014 12:28:00 PM PDT by John Semmens

Anthony Weiner, the former Democratic Congressman who gained wide notoriety by tweeting photos of his genitalia is ready to open a new chapter in his life. Spotting what he characterized as “an unfilled niche in the marketplace,” the ex-pol is set to embark upon a restaurant venture in the Queens borough of New York City.

“The wiener, or hot dog, is an under appreciated delicacy,” Weiner maintains. “Too often it is relegated to street corner carts where it is hastily prepared, topped with pedestrian condiments, and carelessly scarfed down by the palate-challenged troglodytes who walk our streets.”

“At Chez Weiner we will introduce diners to a truly gourmet experience,” Weiner boasted. “Instead of having to settle for a squirt of mustard or ketchup on their meat our patrons will have an array of classic choices with which to garnish their wieners. My own personal favorite is the foot-long dog tipped with a creamy Alfredo sauce, but we will also have Bearnaise, Béchamel, Velouté, Espagnole, Hollandaise, and tomato bisque along with ‘chef’s surprise’ toppings for special occasions.”

“The menu won’t be circumscribed to solely wieners,” Weiner promised. “There will be a variety of drool-worthy bratwurst, kielbasa and other sausage-like options, we think will go down easy.”

Weiner said he expects to make heavy use of social media to promote his venture. “If I’ve learned anything from past experience it’s that whatever you put out there on Twitter goes a lot farther than you originally anticipated,” Weiner observed. “Once I show people what I’ve got I’m confident they’ll come and get it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/08/08/obama-eyes-emancipation-proclamation-as-model-for-amnesty-executive-order/


TOPICS: Food; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: congressman; hotdog; napl; satire; sexting; weiner
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To: John Semmens

Awwwwwwww man, you got me!

(Haven’t seen your posts in a while, nice to read you again.)


41 posted on 08/09/2014 5:16:46 PM PDT by Titan Magroyne (What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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To: John Semmens
He took it out
42 posted on 08/09/2014 6:31:54 PM PDT by onedoug
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To: John Semmens

John, Okay, I almost bit, but found the writ not to my taste and a little short.
Sorry.


43 posted on 08/09/2014 6:36:05 PM PDT by Randy Larsen (Aim small, Miss small.)
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To: Zuben Elgenubi

Now that is truly funny!


44 posted on 08/09/2014 6:37:24 PM PDT by Randy Larsen (Aim small, Miss small.)
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To: John Semmens

Weiner Queenz

Weiner Snatcher


45 posted on 08/09/2014 6:38:58 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: John Semmens

BRA HA HA HA HA AAAAAAAA


46 posted on 08/09/2014 8:04:00 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Will they have Wiener Schnitzel?
Seriously, though there are gourmet hot dogs, made with different meats.
47 posted on 08/09/2014 9:58:31 PM PDT by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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To: rmlew

If Barry visits they’ll definitely have gourmet dogs.


48 posted on 08/09/2014 10:03:28 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Your Daddy Was Drunk and Your Mama Was Lonely" - http://youtu.be/4HYy62qiOwA)
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To: Slings and Arrows
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/b9/a3/8b/b9a38b5c56d2e844fff41824cbc2c12d.jpg
49 posted on 08/09/2014 11:39:55 PM PDT by dixiechick2000
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To: dixiechick2000

Anthony just wishes that that was a selfie.


50 posted on 08/09/2014 11:46:02 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Your Daddy Was Drunk and Your Mama Was Lonely" - http://youtu.be/4HYy62qiOwA)
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To: COBOL2Java

"Fifteen is my limit on Schnitzengruben."

51 posted on 08/09/2014 11:53:37 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: John Semmens

Would that be near Lorena Bobbitt’s restaurant.....

D*** Fil-A?


52 posted on 08/11/2014 3:52:15 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Randy Larsen

Thanks, newbie! lol


53 posted on 08/12/2014 6:18:10 AM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi (NOPe to GOPe)
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