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I certainly did intend to be married, for the rest of my life. I take that commitment very seriously. He was verbally and mentally abusive in addition to monumentally stupid and self-destructive (taking us down with him). I would have put up with just about anything if I felt the kids would be fine. When I saw that wasn't the case then I went for divorce.
I'm happy to say my second marriage is the opposite and we fully intend to grow old and decrepit and fade into the sunset together. (BTW hubby #2 is an occasional FReeper too so he gets some extra points there too lol)

(Love your nickname! PayNoAttention)

I realize you intended to stay married, I was not laughing at you or your situation. Just the way some of the catholics here were finding loop holes in the catholic doctrine. It struck me funny in a sad sad way.

Have you ever attended/studied any religions besides catholic?

Becky

As hubby #2 (yep I'm the one, for real) I can vouch for everything visualops has said. I'm all for her *making things right* with the Catholic Church as I understand things. My own faith is such that it won't be shaken if/when we start going to a Catholic church now and then. I've always been a student of religions and the cultures any church has within it and this will be interesting to me from that stand point.

I just wish I didn't look so much older than her already...cuz she's actually older than ME!!!!

However, the 1st time a priest suggests to us that we have to *abstain* from making love I am gonna laugh out loud and prolly not be very *understanding* towards them. For me it's not a question of *loving my wife enough* to set *sex* aside. In my mind, we have yet to have sex. We do, however, make love often and I feel reborn as her husband each and everytime we do.

All that aside, thanks much to those who've offered their advice and suggestions to my wife. God continues to Bless us in all things and I am forever at a loss to express my thankfulness for our life and our marriage together. I better quit before I get *mushy*:)

I certainly did intend to be married, for the rest of my life. I take that commitment very seriously. He was verbally and mentally abusive in addition to monumentally stupid and self-destructive (taking us down with him). I would have put up with just about anything if I felt the kids would be fine. When I saw that wasn't the case then I went for divorce. I'm happy to say my second marriage is the opposite and we fully intend to grow old and decrepit and fade into the sunset together. (BTW hubby #2 is an occasional FReeper too so he gets some extra points there too lol)

I didn't mean you were uncommitted to your vows, or that you weren't completely prepared to give everything to your first husband, if that had been possible. I just meant that as a Catholic, on some level, you prevented yourself from entering into a valid sacrament of marriage with him because, on some level, you might have known it wasn't meant to last. Now it sounds like you've got a wonderful husband, and that it is meant to last. I'm happy for you. As a divorced (but not yet remarried) guy, I always like hearing about successful second marriages. And I'm glad you're looking into getting things squared away with the Church.