Been there, done that, nobody showed. Got over it. Moved on.
I do not know you, and I will probably never understand your story well enough to explain what happened from posts on Free Republic. I know for a fact that G-d showed. I can't know why you couldn't see Him.
If you actually desire to see Him when you knock, then I suggest you find a Christian and ask him about what happened to you.
Shalom.
I don't think so. If you got over it and "moved on" then why are you here?