We should always be ready to answer those who question why we believe what we do and our answers should be given in gentleness and respect. I'm sure you have arrived at your conclusions on this subject through careful study and so have I. It's no skin off my nose if someone doesn't see things the same as I do but I do have reasons for why I believe as I do.
As for Jesus' appearing (coming to earth) I'm sure you have heard of the term "theophany". It's a visible manifestation to humankind of God. The Old Testament is rife with instances of theophanies (e.g., Adam, Eve, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, etc.). These are some of them from Scripture https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Theophany. There are instances when God appeared in human form before the incarnation or in a way that is tangible to the human senses.
Even after Jesus ascended back to heaven after His resurrection, we are told of times where He did manifest Himself to individuals. For example, the first Christian martyr Stephan when he was being stoned:
Paul spoke about Jesus blinding him on the road to Damascus and hearing His voice and also told of an experience where Jesus taught him personally (see II Cor. 12:2-4). The Apostle John also spoke of seeing Jesus in Revelation 1. So, there HAVE been times where Jesus appeared to people after His incarnation and resurrection and they did not count as THE Second Coming. Jesus told His followers that He was going to prepare a place for them, "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." (John 14:3). It is these verses as well as the ones Paul wrote to the churches that in addition to the Old Testament prophecies convinced me there WILL be a rapture, a "catching up" of those who remain on the earth to deliver from the Time of Jacob's Trouble - the Tribulation. The Bride of Christ is spared from enduring Almighty God's wrath poured out upon the ungodly and unbelieving world prior to Jesus' triumphant return as the Conquering Messiah.
Finally, we agree on the major things and those are worth defending strenuously. If it turns out there is no Rapture of the church, then I will endure whatever God has planned because I know I am His child and Jesus Christ is my Deliverer and Redeemer. If there is a Rapture, then you, my friend will rejoice along with me I'm sure.
There is a subtle confirmation that Paul believed and taught the pre-tribulation removal, found in the way he spoke to the Thess believers in the first letter to them, 1 Thess 1:9&10. It is dramatic in the DR version, but profound affirmation in the Greek.
The problem the way I see it is people are so caught up in the theory of the Rapture they totally ignore what’s going on around them; not paying it forward (the Gospel) - their mindset is Rapture.