You said it!
Myself, Being a product of country and southern life, I always and still believe these are terms of kindness. Just like opening a door for someone regardless of their sex or age. And yes, I love it when a gentleman helps me with anything. I believe it is highly admirable. Many of us still wave at someone driving down our street even though we don’t know them. Including calling someone sir or ma’am. I see these are good manners and friendliness. The sweetie, dear, etc. are more casual and familiar situations showing good manners and acceptance to make one feel good and at ease. As good manners were meant for. Of course, at the office in this PC world they want to remove saying Mr. and Mrs. anymore, and yes Sir, Ma-am, etc. I also believe in a good firm handshake and eye contact.
Just to add another 2 cents—I do see what they are saying about taking care of someone and babying them. I have an older parent I care for. Helping them to maintain face of dignity is important. There is a big difference between being nice and being condescending or appearing over-caring. You need to maintain an adult relationship with the respect of such, even when their abilities are declining.