Is My Same-Sex Attraction a Sin?

Last week, one of my recent articles was published on The Gospel Coalition website. I have realized over the years that any time I write about the ever-controversial topic of homosexuality, I should expect a couple truckloads of criticism to come rolling into the comments section. This TGC article was no exception. I scrolled through "the aftermath" on Facebook and Twitter the day following its publishing, trying my best to humbly process the comments of some disgruntled readers.

Quite a few people commended my commitment to celibacy but also shared that they believe my ongoing experience of same-sex attraction is a sin. They believe my temptation to engage in same-sex acts persists because I am not fully submitting myself to God. Some said God will not be pleased with me, and I will not be walking in true obedience, until my same-sex attraction ceases to exist.

I mean . . . are they right? Is my mere experience of same-sex attraction a sin? Is it impossible for me to please God as long as these feelings persist?

My short answer is no, I don't think these folks are correct — but neither do I think the common counterargument is correct.

Other Christians insist there is nothing wrong with simply experiencing romantic and sexual desires for the same gender. They believe it only becomes a problem if you act on those desires. Homosexual behavior is wrong and sinful, they say, but the feelings, in and of themselves, are morally neutral. They see nothing wrong with having a "gay orientation." Though I lean more toward this camp's position, I can't fully embrace it either.

Most Christians agree the Bible clearly teaches it is a sin to engage in homosexual behavior. But what does the Bible teach about homosexual feelings within the heart? Is it a sin to simply feel romantic or sexual attraction to the same gender?

I think it can be. I don't believe a person commits sexual sin merely by experiencing an unintentional, spontaneous temptation to sin sexually. But I do think a person commits sin if, rather than refusing to crush that tempting thought, they choose to lustfully enjoy it.

The other day I was walking down the street and felt a spontaneous sexual attraction toward some guy I passed, but I immediately took that thought captive and crushed it by the power of the Spirit. I don't think I sinned. Rather, I think I glorified God by triumphing in a moment of temptation.

But what if I didn't take that thought captive? What if I had let it flesh out into a lustful fantasy . . . even if just briefly? Would I have committed a sin even though I technically did not "act"? Yes — absolutely!

"Acting" is not necessary to constitute sin. It's totally possible to sin secretly within the thoughts and intentions of your heart. Just ask Jesus: "I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." – Matthew 5:28.

Jesus didn't condemn feeling an unintentional, spontaneous temptation to sin sexually; he condemned looking with lustful intent. Lustful intent is the key phrase here.

When I passed the guy on the street, my initial attraction to him was not intentional. It just happened! I crushed the thought by setting my mind on Christ and therefore do not believe I sinned. But had I intentionally continued to entertain that unintentional thought and allowed myself to lustfully fantasize, I would have sinned.

In summary, there is a difference between lust and temptation. Lust is intentionally allowing a sexually tempting thought to fester and grow for your own perverted enjoyment. Lust is sin. Temptation is experiencing an unintentional, spontaneous enticement toward sin. Temptation is not sin.

However, was my initial desire toward the guy I passed on the street a natural and morally neutral experience? Is it comparable to a married man being instinctively attracted to a woman who is not his wife? I don't believe so.

Though I don't believe it is a sin to experience spontaneous, unintentional same-sex desires, I also don't believe it is a natural or morally neutral experience. Homosexual desire was not part of God's initial design, but came running in on the heels of sin — it is unnatural. And though heterosexual desire can manifest in unnatural ways (think pedophilia or a desire to rape), a man's instinctive attraction toward an adult woman who is not his wife is natural.

If Adam had never fallen and human nature was never corrupted by sin, I don't believe the temptation to commit homosexual acts (or heterosexual rape and pedophilia) would exist within human hearts. When Adam sinned against God, his nature was corrupted — and every one of his descendants has inherited that corrupt nature.

We are not born good or even morally neutral; we are "brought forth in iniquity" and "conceived in sin" (Psalm 51:5).

It is from our sinful nature that sexual perversities spring up. However, some would argue that Jesus, whose nature was NOT corrupted by sin, was tempted to commit homosexual acts because Hebrews 4:15 says "in every respect [he] has been tempted as we are." If they are correct and Jesus was tempted to commit homosexual acts, it logically follows that he was also tempted to commit every other kind of sexual sin, including heterosexual rape and pedophilia. However, it's my opinion that this verse does not mean Jesus was tempted to commit every sin that every fallen person is tempted to commit.

"What is here said of the similarity of our Lord's trials to ours, does not imply an exact likeness; for he was free from that corruption of nature which, as the consequence of Adam's sin, has infected all mankind."

I don't believe the temptation experienced by Jesus, and by the pre-fallen Adam and Eve, would have involved the temptation to commit same-sex acts. I believe the temptation to commit same-sex acts is experienced only by those whose hearts and minds have been ransacked by original sin. According to Romans 1, a refusal to love and worship God preceded things like homosexual desire. Same-sex attraction is an unnatural byproduct of man's sinful nature.

"For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error." – Romans 1:21-27 (emphasis mine).

Because I believe homosexual feelings can only rise up from a fallen, sinful nature, I don't think they should be viewed as natural or "okay." Feeling sexually drawn toward the same gender is not the same as a married man feeling an unintentional, spontaneous heterosexual desire for an adult woman who is not his wife.

Again, I do not think spontaneously experiencing same-sex attraction is a sin if one continually takes those thoughts captive rather than letting them run lustfully wild. But I believe the Bible teaches that the smallest inkling of desire to engage in any level of homosexual behavior is rooted not in God's design for human sexuality, but in original sin's corruption of human sexuality. And therefore, I can't view it as a neutral or "okay" experience.

So what does this mean for people like me who experience this perverse, unnatural desire on a daily basis? Do I walk around in constant turmoil, hating myself and telling myself what an evil and godless piece of crap I am? NO!

The good news of the gospel is that though we are UTTERLY messed up, God loves us and sent his Son to save us. One day, when I have a glorified body that is free from the effects of original sin, all of my unnatural desires will cease to exist. But until that day, the unnatural desires that remain inside of me do not define me; Jesus defines me. I am no longer the corruption that lies within me; I am the righteousness of God in Christ.

I believe my same-sex attraction will continue to dwindle in intensity as God continues to sanctify me. However, if my experience is anything like the SSA strugglers who have gone before me, it's probable that this pattern of temptation will persist at some level until the day I die or Christ returns. And until either of those days come, I will cry out honestly and hopefully with the apostle Paul: "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" – Romans 7:24-25

Matt Moore is a Christian blogger who was formerly engaged in a gay lifestyle. You can read more about him at www.moorematt.org.

>>The real issue is worldliness, and accepting the world’s idea of leisure is a large part of that.

“You are correct. That is a problem that has existed since the first church walked out of the room.”

Yes, it did exist since then, but not in exactly the same way. There wasn’t then the same time available for leisure, nor the resources and all the ways of leisure that exist today. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father’s wife.” (I Corinthians 5:1) This sort of thing shamed the Gentiles at the time of the early church, but it’s accepted among the population imagination today, along with all sorts of other things. I saw just the other day a “humorous” skit Saturday Night Live did a few years back in which two male friends had sexual relations with each other’s mothers, which in general people seem to accept.

“People suck at being Godly. If we did it as we should, then God wouldn’t have needed the cross.”

The New Testament makes clear, over and over, that God’s expectations for Christians, especially over time, are higher than that. Again, that God’s Word, not any human’s. For example, Paul also upbraided the Corinthians for being carnal, not spiritual, and staying on milk when they should have been ready for meat. He wrote to the Galatians not to be deceived, because God cannot be mocked, and a man will reap what he sows.

“Look at your earlier post. You had a job at the puzzle factory making objectionable puzzles,”

The objectionable puzzles were from a popular movie, something like Harry Potter but not that. The specific movie doesn’t matter. It was a movie that I’m sure got the support of a great number of Christians. There were also a couple of puzzles that I discovered online by looking up the company. One I believe had Tarot cards. These weren’t mass-produced but were specialty items and I actually only saw one box once, and they never had us work on any. Many other puzzles were things like balloons and kittens.

I did not choose this company. I signed up with the temp agency and within a couple of hours they called to see if I could go immediately to the factory. I’d never heard of the place before this. I did get to know people there a bit after that one day, and looked up information on the internet, as I said, and then within days went to the people in my church. And this was a job that I took after not working for awhile, a period during which I read the Bible and it transformed my life. But I had been in effect offered not to go back to work, and instead to go for collecting SSI disability. I had gone for secular counseling after different times and they would have backed me up if I said I couldn’t work anymore, and having relatives getting it, I knew what it would involve to get it. But I knew I could work, yet didn’t have Christian support in the virtually entirely secular area of the country I lived in.

“bad enough that you asked for advice. “

I don’t agree.

“He gave you the right answer. If it is objectionable, stop doing it. It was just a temp job! But that wasn’t the answer YOU wanted to hear, so you post that he is the bad Christian for not scratching your ears and telling you things to soothe your conscience.”

Jesus said that the world would know His disciples by their love for one another. That’s more than just “right answers,” but about having relationships. My problem was an opportunity for this elder and I to have fellowship, and to consider how to live in the world as a Christian. You say this is the right answer, but how about all the companies like grocery stores and other retail stores selling objectionable things? The real estate company, perhaps, leasing to Planned Parenthood? Or the banks holding their money? How about the corporations with policies that actively promote antichristian agendas? I also was concerned about passing judgment on the people working there, and the people at the temp agency for having this client. You say there are no perfect people in the church, but are there any perfect jobs out in the world? I knew I should be concerned about this job, but truly didn’t know what to do about it. In the end, I was only there a few months during the Christmas rush before they cancelled all their temps, and as they did, the foreman told me he would like to hire me on, but I turned him down. I would like to say that I did that as gracefully as possible too, but I’ve always felt like I could have handled it somewhat better. I know you seem to think that this was exclusively my problem not to take to other people in the church, but the two people I did go to didn’t offer to pray with me or for me, or to keep talking to me about the work I was doing. It was just *my problem.* And on it being a temp job, again it was my income, and the temp agency isn’t without all seriousness and discipline, and needing to have employees to send to the clients who need them. I didn’t know about telling them I’d have to evaluate every assignment on whether or not the company engaged in any sort of sin, but I wanted to discuss it with Christians further along than I if that was the case. The next assignment, though, was food-related, so that was all right.

“I’m telling you that people are just people and always have been. You will meet your first perfect Christian in heaven. Until then, just us give the consideration that you demand from us.”

As I said, God’s Word makes clear that even though we will remain imperfect here, God still has expectations of us. And I don’t see where I went wrong to try to get a job doing honest work, wondering what sort of moral imperfection I should accept in employers, and going to Christians who had been in a church for decades for counsel and support on it. I tried to lay out my concerns about it but in both cases was met with some hostility and impatience. You say as an inexperienced Christian with little church support, or any support, I should have just told the temp agency I wouldn’t go back, while it was too much to expect of these Christians in the church for decades, with all sorts of support systems in the church starting from the pastor on down, that they have their “comfort zones” disturbed.

“And that is the basic issue here. They didn’t support you the way you wanted.”

Not at all. Respectfully, it looks like how you want to cast the situation for your argument, even taking just *part* of one of my sentences while doing so.

You don’t consider a lot of what I also said and took time and effort to go over and what I pointed to in what I wrote.

I also went to a very respected Sunday School teacher of 80 years of age. She was offended by my merely questioning the goodness of the movie, despite the fact she’d talked about how as a Baptist church, the congregation used to almost entirely stay away from movies.

I’d already learned from having the internet, before I went to any church, that there was no consistency of standards among Christians in these days, including in churches. One elder and his wife who led Awana, both retirees and longtime members, spoke of how even non-Christians had some openness to the church because the culture was more Christian-influenced and taught morality. Then she gave me a ride one day and when she turned on the car, Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” was on the radio. She never gave an explanation for why she listened to this station. Yet someone else you might speak to about this music as evil. People who entered the church decades ago did so when there was more agreement and one could imagine where people stood, just as this Baptist church was unified back then on not seeing movies.

Again, the issue is worldliness and the church being expected to resist it. As I said, I know part of what was behind what the elder says was that he was responding to the attitude shown by the female Sunday School teacher (and many others, both male and female). As I also said, much of the worldliness comes from the world not resisting it and accepting the world’s ideas on leisure.

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