I knew a now deceased good and holy priest. He was a late vocation who did not seek the priesthood until his wife had died. During his marriage, he had a severe problem with alcohol while in the military. He would let himself into the Catholic chapel on the base, and prostrate himself before the Holy Eucharist, praying to be delivered from his alcoholism. He spent another ten years in severe alcoholism before being delivered from it and entering the seminary. He thanked God for delaying the granting of his initial request because it paved the way for a ministry working with Mother Teresa helping drug addicts and alcoholics back to God.
You are a child of God. He has given you the Mass and the sacraments as avenues of graces to lead you to eternal life with Him. That is a lot to get excited over. Get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church published under John Paul II in the 1980s and study the meaning of the Mass. We Catholics all too often take the truths of the Faith for granted but do not really know what we think we know.
Pray the rosary reverently and remember to ask on the first three Hail Marys for Faith, Hope and Charity respectively. Also ask God for a closer relationship with Him and a to give you the grace of greater submission to His will.
We just finished Holy Week. Considering the sacrifice of Jesus Christ in His agony in the garden, His being scourged at the pillar, His being crowned with thorns, His carrying His cross and His being crucified all in reparation for my sins, your sins and the sins of everyone else, can we be other than excited to attend Mass?
Thank you for the beautifully written words. The biggest problem I have is since my head injury, and even before to tell the truth. I’ve had severe anxiety and many OCDs. It makes it so hard to concentrate. I twitch and hyperventilate so much that I can barely watch a tv show and be able to follow it. How do I get calm enough to pray?