[JPX2011]

Let's try some easy math: There are approximately 1.2 billion Catholics world wide; If merely 1% of them 'ask' Mary for help just once each day; that means that 12 million separate prayers are headed Mary's direction every day. Given that there are 86,400 seconds per day... (24 hours times 60 minutes times 60 seconds) ...that means that Mary has to handle approximately 139 'requests' per second!Purty good fer someone NOT 'devine'!

Thank you Mr. Hunkley.

[Elsie]

Thank you for calling Heaven's Hotline!

Every call is important to us.

 

 

If you wish to access the Heaven's Hotline FAQ sheet, Press 1 to be connected to Catholic Answers

If you wish to access the Heaven's Hotline FAQ sheet en Espanol, Pulse 2 para ser conectado a Catholic Answers

If you wish to talk to GOD Himself, please realize His time is limited. Many other representitives and even His mother is available to handle your request, praise, plea, prayer and/or worship/adoration/veneration.

Stay on the line and one will be with you shortly.

Thank you for calling Heaven's Hotline! All lines are presently in use...

 

 

 

After receiving an answer from Heaven's Hotline, Press 3 to hear instructions for the correct amount of alms to be given to the poor.  (Or Hail Marys...)

(Cue background music: Ave Maria )

[Elsie]

Press 3 if you wish to speak in the original language of the Bible: Latin.