Posted on 08/25/2014 7:02:07 PM PDT by Morgana
I am new to this journey. My daughter Faith is only 5 years old. She is mentally and physically disabled, still small enough to carry, quiet . . . mostly, and has not developed the larger, louder, and strange movements and sounds that many older people who are mentally and physically disabled seem to develop as they try to express themselves – yet.
We have taken our daughter to concerts, plays, movie theatres, political speeches, pro-life fundraisers and community events, and spend a lot of time in hallways and lobbies when she does get loud. However, we’ve found that the hardest place to take a child with special needs is to church. We have found the cardinal sin of the Sunday service is not sexual immorality, lying, theft, or heresy – no, it is having distracting movements or loud sounds during worship or the message.
jesismithHe is probably in his early 40’s and he is mentally disabled. Every week his mom brings him faithfully to church. There is a section in the back of the sanctuary where many families sit with their children of all ages with special needs. It is definitely a group that makes a joyful noise during worship and after the offering is taken, they all leave to go to a special class during the sermon. But this week was different. Her son was playing the tambourine that he brought every Sunday to worship God — one of the only ways he expresses praise to God, when a member of the church staff came up to him and asked that he not to use it in service anymore. It was disturbing to other people and it was distracting the band on stage. The mother was crushed, embarrassed, and offended. This is not supposed to be a concert, but worship from all the people, right? She had worked hard all these years to take him — a grown man, which is no small task — out of the sanctuary when loud, and for years, has taught the special needs Sunday school class. She often is unable to join in the worship or listen to the sermon herself, so that her son and others like him can be taught the word of God. Now the one place that both her and her son could join with the church in the praise and worship was not available to her either! Why work so hard to come if even during a loud praise and worship service with everyone singing , keyboards, drums, and guitars he was not able to join in? Was his worship so offending among hundreds of others who may be clapping offbeat or singing off-key that he was asked to stop? So now, put the church on the list of all the places that your special needs child cannot go and participate.
Do not get me wrong: I know children can be a distraction and need to be taken out of the service when loud, whether a crying baby, fidgeting toddler, or even my special needs daughter, but is there never to be a church that gives the mentally and physically disabled enough time or grace to stay in and adjust to a service? Is there no place for the disabled in corporate worship? Must they always be sent out to the lobby alone or to a room to sit alone? Many may not realize they and their parents have probably sacrificed more than most other church members just to show up to church. They probably have spent hours with parents or caregivers getting ready and getting in and out of their vehicle with wheelchairs, walkers, and medical equipment. They have likely spent most of their week in the hospital or battling illness at home, and this may be one of the few Sundays they could even come to church this year. However, they will not spend this Sunday with the body of Christ being ministered to, but out in the hallway in shame.
If the church truly wants to serve the “least of these” – whom Jesus urged the Church to make a priority, are they not the disabled? Now ask yourselves this: How many people with disabilities come to your church? Where are all the people with handicaps anyway? Sure, they seemingly have little to offer the church — no money, no volunteering, no inviting their friends, they may be unlovely to look upon, make weird noises, have improper behaviors, spit more than normal, throw up routinely, and do not even offer “acceptable” praise and worship. Many of them are unwanted even by their own parents. (Over 90% of babies with a disability like our daughters – Trisome 18 / Edwards Syndrome – are aborted.) They are a group who cannot speak for themselves, cannot go where they want to go, or even eat or go to the bathroom without help , and accordingly, they ought to be honored as the most patient among us! The disabled who have been brought to the church are among the blessed few. First, they are blessed to be alive, cared for, and well enough to attend; and second, they are blessed to have a parent or caregiver who love them enough to battle the process of getting them to the church. And so, I implore you — please do not send them out into the lobby or to an empty room to sit alone after all they have struggled with and endured just to make it into your doors!
My final thought for you to ponder is an unfortunate update on the mentally disabled man with the tambourine – he refuses to play it anymore.
LifeNews Note: Jesi Smith and her husband Brad are pro-life speakers with Save The 1, from Rochester Hills, Michigan. They’ve just recently received a personal 1-minute video endorsement from Rick Santorum.
The mother should have taken her son to the Pentecostal church down the street, there the son could have hit his tambourine and fit right in.
“We have found the cardinal sin of the Sunday service is not sexual immorality, lying, theft, or heresy – no, it is having distracting movements or loud sounds during worship or the message.”
Having a “special needs child” does not mean that that child should make it impossible for other parishioners to hear the service, participate or enjoy the music, etc.
It's high time to get rid of the bands on stage in church. There's too much show in all that and I am going to church, not a rock concert.
If those folks are more worried about it sounding *right* than people worshiping, then their priorities are all wrong.
Oh, wow! Thank you so much for posting this!
I am working toward starting a church specifically for the disabled. I just started another thread so I need to keep checking that one, but I’m going to come back to this discussion when I can.
Don’t most protestants have a “junior church” anyway? The one I went to did. Why aren’t these kids in junior church?
Considering the volume of most of the worship bands I’ve heard in churches, I doubt this man’s tambourine in the back of the sanctuary is making it impossible for someone to hear.
Your comments indicate that you’re exactly the kind of person this woman is writing about.
The band on stage?!?! There's more wrong at this church than disruptive attendees.
I will need to think about this article... much food for thought here. Thank you.
“bands on stage in church”
Pomp and Circumstance that is what it is. I never cared for it.
She should try a Catholic Church...we’re used to a entire rows of unruly young’ns.
Kinda goes with the “no contraception” thing ;)
I wish I had an answer.
There was a young kid (5-7 years old) in service this past Sunday that I wish had been told to behave or been removed from the service.
The child was bouncing all around and pushing on other kids the entire time. He wasn’t a special needs child but he was very distracting. If the minister had seen him behaving this way, he would have told him to behave or made him step outside.
I really don’t have an opinion but, special needs or not, I wanted the distracting child quieted.
Again, I wish I had a good answer for you.
Oh we have a cry room from loud babies, toddlers and even a few older children. Special needs people use it too. At our church we have a person with trisomy 21 who has, from time to time, tendencies to screech like a pterodactyl with out warning. Trust me it does break the spine.
Yes I quite agree with another FReeper that these special needs children have no right to disturb others but at the same time they should be allowed to attend church.
Kinda goes with the “no contraception” thing ;)
Not in my day.
You didn't DARE be unruly, or make the slightest noise or Mom would give you *the look*.
She sat in the middle of us and everyone was within arms reach, and if you didn't take the hint the first time, well, she had pretty good aim considering you could never see her look when she swatted.
You used to hope whoever was on the outside wasn't acting up cause when she reached over to swat them, she often got a twofer.
You learned to sit back quickly when you saw her arm move or you just leaned back some when the sibling wouldn't settle down.
We actually have quite a few disabled adults and children at our weekend Masses and a few disabled regulars at our daily Mass. It’s one of the perks - alright maybe the only perk - of having a modern church that looks like Mike Brady’s living room. We’re complete handicap accessible.
Special needs is one thing.
Undisciplined is another.
You got that right. That’s what Praise & Worship is all about.
We had a boy who was very well behaved when his grandmother was present, he just fidgeted a lot. He was a disruption when he came with just his mother. I find it harder to deal with parents than any kid I met. Single mothers being the hardest.
The music is for God - not for you.
I can't speak for all Catholics, but I think I'm safe in saying we don't consider it a disturbance. Beside the homily, we pretty much know what's going on.
Of course, plenty of people spend a couple of years in the narthex when babies are too much to handle. ;)
Sadly happened to me with my autistic son as well. Interesting that all the posters defending this type of anti-Christian behavior all focus on their “rights” rather than the lost or any compassion for those that have to care for these individuals. But that is what apostasy looks like and why I refer to them as Churchians not Christians.
We serve an awesome God!
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