Maybe try to be more in line with what GOD says in his word about sexual relations FIRST. As imperfect beings we may not always see or understand reasons behind Gods instruction, that doesn’t mean though that they have no merit or should be ignored. Take a good look around you and observe for yourself the product of man’s interpretation of right and wrong, specifically with regards to sexuality
But legalistic implementation is wrong too.
I grew up with some of this same stuff. There wasn’t really any Biblical teaching, just heaping non Biblical interpretations on us.
I think in many was she is right.
I am a Christian church goer now, but didnt really grow up faith-based, but here goes:
As far as the zero tolerance for any physical contact, yes, that’s what some of them believe. I think it’s a slippery slope argument, but on the other hand, some slopes truly are slippery.
The physical problems that she mentions on the wedding night sound like a little-discussed medical problem that some women have. My heart goes out to her on this one. I hope anybody with this has a patient partner and knowledgable doctor.
She’s indeed right that its unrealistic for people (esp. women) who have been warned away from kissing to turn things on full blast like a faucet on the wedding night.
It sounds to me as if a lot of well meaning stage one thinkers are using trucks and scare tactics on the kids to get them to wait until marriage. Since the culture basically discounts and ridicules virginity, I can sympathize with what they’re up against.
But instead they should give the kids some credit for smarts and be more real with them. Tell them since the fall, sex has been fraught with problems but the problems are generally worse when you’re not in a loving marriage. Don’t be afraid to talk about happiness, a worthwhile goal, and delayed gratification, not just in sex, but in other things, like finances. Delayed gratification is often a big part of happiness in the long run. Unless they are in a bubble with other kids of their background, they probably have friends who are sexually active and having problems because of it. There are certainly plenty of examples with public figures, too.