Like you, I too fell away from the church, several times, using similar justifications.
How else can we explain the Kennedy's multiple annulments, Pelosi and the other faux catholics receiving the sacrements and all the infiltration by homosexuals and communists.
These are judgement calls. In making these excuses, you are punishing yourself and Christ. Your Lord and Savior waits for you each week. He is there in the Eucharist, desirous of sharing His graces with you. That is your source of life; eternal food for your soul.
If you are not happy with the way the mass was celebrated in your previous parish, there are other parishes. If you are serious about your love for Christ, commit this appeal to Him. "Ask and you will receive; knock and the door will be opened to you". When I became disgusted with the way in which mass was being celebrated, I turned to our Lord and asked Him to guide me to "a holy priest, a reverent liturgy and a community in need of whatever my God-given abilities might be". I then compiled a list of other parishes within a certain radius of home, including two Eastern Catholic Churches. Each week I visited a different parish, repeating that prayer. When I reached the Maronite Catholic Church, that prayer was answered, through some truly extraordinary means that left no doubt I was home.
The Eastern Catholic Churches, like the Traditional Latin Mass, retain a greater sense of reverence in the liturgy. Once "home", I was invited to join one group and to serve on the parish's centennial committee. Up until then, I was not one to get involved in parish activities but the parish was small, the prayer had been answered and I recognized it was now my responsibility to fulfill my obligation. Not long afterwards, I was elected to the Parish Council. When the parish began the process of fundraising to restore an abandoned 160 y/o former methodist church, they turned to me for assistance in writing a grant. I had never written one but entrusted it, like the previous prayer, to our Lord. More than 360 organizations submitted requests and only 15 grants were awarded. We were one of them! Shortly afterwards, I was asked to develop a Religious Education program for the children in the parish. It began small and within 4 years, had tripled in attendance. Today, I have been tasked with writing the weekly parish bulletin.
Now you may be thinking this is not your calling in life. You simply wish to worship God in your own way. In truth, I felt the same way but I quickly learned that in giving, we receive and my life is full of joy because of God's response to one simple prayer.
Our pastor was called home for a family emergency. In his absence, we have had several priests come on Sunday to say mass. Each one has shared his God given gifts with us. Last Sunday, a recently ordained priest celebrated the mass. He chanted the entire liturgy and took his time, enunciating the words of institution. It was so moving and beautiful. He drew us closer to Jesus through his homily and the Eucharist. This was a priceless gift I wish to share with you.
If you have been away from the Catholic Church, you should reconsider the reasons. Please visit Catholics Come Home and rediscover what you have been missing. May God bless you on your journey!
I will consider it. I will pray and I will stumble around.
These replies to me have really given my a reason to think.
Thank you for your story and kind words. If I start to find my way and return to the church please know that it was you and the others that helped me. I'm sure that the Lord and I appreciate your gentle hand in suggesting and not berating me.