You're very perceptive. Yes I am. From the very start this article and topic gripped me. Lark News is a publication all theologians follow. They attack the issues others wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, like "Will I be fat in Heaven". Or what happens if I step on a duck in heaven (I know MnDude posted it in #6 but I'm pretty sure Lark News had it before him). Or SnakeDoctors "Will there be steak in Heaven". I've been waiting for the 72 virgins in Heaven question that someone is sure they heard about in church but can't quite find it in the Bible . . yet. As the Head Deacon in the Royal Order of Ego-Centrist I deal with these things constantly and take them just as serious as I do Lindsay Lohan. Look for my articles in The Onion (The finest publication on the planet Earth).
So, what about the 72 virgins? When do we get them? Are they virgins because they are extremely ugly? Or do they just run faster than their siblings? Why only 72? If they is an extra one or two just hanging around, can we get them, to? Or are we limited to only 72? What happens AFTER they are no longer virgins? Do they disappear? Are we stuck with them forever? Do they come with Mothers-in-Law?