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Woman wonders, ‘Will I be fat in heaven?’
Lark News ^
| B. Jokin
Posted on 11/27/2012 9:00:34 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: esquirette
Because they saw him in the flesh and not in the spirit. They didn’t ‘see’ him for who He truly is by using their natural eyes. They didn’t have ‘eyes to see’.
To: BipolarBob
I’m not hindu. I’m fine with killing cows. God isn’t hindu either.
>> To get a steak you would have to kill a cow. I’m pretty sure death in Heaven will not be an option.
“With God, all things are possible.” — Jesus Christ, Matt 19:26.
Pretty sure the Almighty could find a way to get a steak. Probably could even do so without killing a cow. Either way, I’m optimistic.
SnakeDoc
22
posted on
11/27/2012 9:26:19 AM PST
by
SnakeDoctor
(Texas survived one Obama term, and we'll survive another. The rest of you are screwed.)
To: Gamecock
No, if she gets into heaven, everything will be perfect for her. So she will not be fat.
If Jesus keeps the marks of His Crucifixion after his Ascension into Heaven, it is because He chooses to do so. They are signs not only of His suffering, but also of His loving willingness to die for our salvation. And they are signs of His triumph over sin and death.
We know from the story of Thomas and the Apostles that He kept his wounds after rising from the tomb on Easter. We don’t necessarily know for certain if He kept his wounds all the time, or only when He chose to display them, if I understand correctly.
23
posted on
11/27/2012 9:26:33 AM PST
by
Cicero
(Marcus Tullius)
To: Gamecock
Fortunately, this is satire...but pretty close to the truth...
Less, of course, American women have de-evolved to think like the Islamist who believe shaking an infidel hand or using his comb will make your penis fall off
24
posted on
11/27/2012 9:26:54 AM PST
by
Popman
To: MNDude
25
posted on
11/27/2012 9:27:15 AM PST
by
LostInBayport
(When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
To: Gamecock
“Do these wings make me look fat?”
26
posted on
11/27/2012 9:28:33 AM PST
by
mikrofon
(At least in Heaven, there is no beer...)
To: SnakeDoctor
Will I still be able to see the Cowboys game?If it's with Romo and Jones, it'll be hell.
27
posted on
11/27/2012 9:31:00 AM PST
by
bgill
(We've passed the point of no return. Welcome to Al Amerika.)
To: BipolarBob
“To get a steak you would have to kill a cow. I’m pretty sure death in Heaven will not be an option. I’m thinking you’ll be out of luck on the steak.”
“In vitro meat” — if WE can think of it....
Does the Bible tell us that Adam and Eve were vegetarians?
28
posted on
11/27/2012 9:33:23 AM PST
by
treetopsandroofs
(Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
To: Gamecock
Well, no. The heat from the fires will melt it right off, sweetie.
29
posted on
11/27/2012 9:35:10 AM PST
by
Safetgiver
( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
To: Gamecock
To: Mr Ramsbotham
No (pay) toilets in Heaven? Nice!
31
posted on
11/27/2012 9:38:39 AM PST
by
equaviator
(There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
To: Gamecock
I dunno if a cloud is going to support all the weight. ;)
32
posted on
11/27/2012 9:39:45 AM PST
by
dfwgator
To: Smedley
Are there Twinkies in Heaven?Not if there are unions in Heaven.
To: Gamecock
Breaking news! Lark News is a satire site.
To: KarlInOhio
Hell is forever being squeezed in between two 600 pounders.
35
posted on
11/27/2012 9:40:54 AM PST
by
dfwgator
To: Smedley
Depends. Are there Twinkies in Heaven?Yes! Because heaven is not unionized.
36
posted on
11/27/2012 9:42:19 AM PST
by
reg45
(Barack 0bama: Implementing class warfare by having no class.)
To: Gamecock
Lark News, OK.
37
posted on
11/27/2012 9:43:47 AM PST
by
Lee N. Field
("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
To: Gamecock
We will have no need for earthly bodies. I think it will be like in Matthew 17 when Jesus was transfigured and his face was like the sun and his clothes became like white light. Perhaps in our heavenly souls we all become beings of light.
38
posted on
11/27/2012 9:44:25 AM PST
by
Teotwawki
(For a person to get a thing without paying for it, another must pay for it without getting it.)
To: dfwgator
Let me fix that for you:
Hell is forever being squeezed in between two 600 pounders on Southwest Airlines.
39
posted on
11/27/2012 9:46:44 AM PST
by
Gamecock
(Bayonets, Benghazi, Balls, Binders, Big Bird, Birth Control, BS.....)
To: Carpe Cerevisi
Yes it is!
But haven’t you ever been in a group study of some type and silly conversations like this broke out?
40
posted on
11/27/2012 9:48:46 AM PST
by
Gamecock
(Bayonets, Benghazi, Balls, Binders, Big Bird, Birth Control, BS.....)
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