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To: stonehouse01
The man in Wisconsin is a fool for becoming Muslim - that is how we got started and we all Agree!!


I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
 
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
 
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?"
 
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?"
 
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?"
 
He said, "Baptist!"
I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?"
 
He said, "Baptist church of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?"
 
He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?"
 
He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
 
-- Emo Phillips

4,151 posted on 09/19/2011 4:38:06 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
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To: Elsie

Scene: New York City, man is going to jump off the building. Up rushes good Irish cop. Cop yells up to the man “Don’t jump! Think of your father”

Man replies “Haven’t got a father; I’m going to jump.”

The copy goes through a list of relatives, mother, brothers, sister, etc. Each time man says “haven’t got one; going to jump.”

Desperate the cop yells up “Don’t jump! Think of the Blessed Virgin”

Man replies “Who is that?”

Cop yells “Jump, Protestant! You’re blocking traffic!”


4,161 posted on 09/19/2011 5:01:22 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
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